New weird horse just dropped, folks.
A spotless giraffe was recently born at Bright’s Zoo in Limestone, TN and was just announced in the media this morning. They’re starting a public naming contest for her, of course.
I’d love to know what type of mutation causes this lack of of pattern, but I don’t know if we have genetics on that for giraffes the way we do other species. As far as is known, she’s the first spotless giraffe ever documented!
when i was a kid i used to respond to the "glass half full/half empty" question by asking how the liquid in the glass got there in the first place. nobody ever gave me a chance to explain my reasoning so i'm doing it now
if you have a glass and it has some liquid in it, up to the halfway line, whether it is empty or full depends on what happened before the question was asked. if you started with a full glass and poured half out until only half remained, the glass is half empty, because if you continued pouring it would be fully empty. however, if you started with an empty glass and poured liquid from another container into the glass up to the halfway line, the glass is half full because if you continued pouring it would be all the way full. logical, no?
i was 13 years old when somebody finally told me it was supposed to be some kind of optimism/pessimism thing. i always thought it was a riddle that nobody let me solve
Okay but that actually goes really well with the metaphor. How did you get to where you are right now? Have things gotten better or worse? Does it seem like the trend is continuing?
Nobody's really an optimist or pessimist all the time, your outlook depends on the situation and how you arrived there.
OP I need you to understand you were not wrong. You are smart. Please please please understand that fact and I hope that you still keep your thinking style. There's just simply not enough people on this planet who can look at a question like this and think "well obviously you're only asking half the question". You're right and I hope you keep it up
To make OP's point more concise:
"Is the glass half empty or half full?"
"That depends. Are you emptying the glass, or filling it?"
My dad’s instant, kneejerk response to this question, which I picked up from him, has always been “Depends on whether you’re drinking or pouring.”
as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.
every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.
until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.
imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet
WHAT
Tumblr used to be so easy, so simple.
"Touch my butt and buy me chicken nuggets"; 40k notes
What happened when did we stray so far from the light of god
no but seriously I still get chills thinking about turning off my headlamp in the cave and The Hand That I Did Not Actually See, and it’s been twelve years since it happened
it’s such an unreal experience
like
you turn off your light in a cave and wave your hand in front of your face
and
you can see this shadowy thing moving in the black space where your hand is
it looks like the same shadowy thing you would see in your room at night if you waved your hand in front of your face, it’s there and vaguely hand-shaped, and your brain recognizes it as your hand because your brain is aware of where your hand is and what it is doing
But You Are Not Seeing Anything
Inside a cave, there is No Light. No matter how far your pupils spread, there is no light for them to draw in, no light to put an image on your retina.
But your brain just Fucking Assumes that because it knows where your hand is and what it is doing, clearly it can see it.
So it creates a shadowy thing for your eyes to be seeing.
Brain is like “there’s a hand there”
Eyes are like “yup sure thing brain I can totally see it”
Brain is like “nice”
but there is no hand, you cannot see the hand, you are seeing a literal actual hallucination in the cave because your brain thinks it knows best
Caves are awesome, but also terrifying. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
we once went spelunking, and a our guide said that once he was in a cave with a stream, so he could hear running water, and his brain was like ‘oh, running water? that means there must be Ducks out there’. and he saw like…low light shadows of ducks. that his brain just Put There.
As a cave guide: we call that ‘cave blindness’! True darkness absolutely wigs your brain out - we’re such visual creatures that after a while our brain throws a hissy after not seeing anything. Sensory deprivation is a very real kind of torture. We have a huge, deep cave system at work and there are a lot of places where you’re hundreds of meters in solid rock in this tiny, dark, still space.
I like to turn my torch off, sit down with my back against the wall, and wait to see how long it takes before I start seeing things or feeling like the ground is moving, or hearing things. Because I know I’m not - I’m in complete darkness, utter silence, sitting in rock that hasn’t moved in hundreds, if not thousands, of years.
Proof that brains are Ridiculous and over-react to a lot of stuff!
I want to add to this that people who lose their hearing as adults have reported hearing music “being played loudly from somewhere”, and other auditory hallucinations, bc the brain will just panic and put your brain’s ipod on *fucking shuffle* if it’s not getting any input
Feel like we’ve unlocked a new level of ‘Humans Like To Poison Themselves For Fun’ here.
What with: “The human brain will begin to malfunction if placed in total darkness, to the point that Sensory Deprivation is considered a form of torture.”
Being followed immediately by: “So sometimes I like to do that to myself deliberately, because I like the pictures it makes.”
Somehow spelunkers have managed to invent Psychological Chilli.
Okay somebody explain
That would be this
Appears to be people taking something that should be funny way to seriously too, which is normal.
The article says that the guidelines have been updated. Instead of asking if you’re a man that’s had sex with another man in the past 3 months it asks everyone regardless of gender if they’ve had anal sex with a new partner or if they’ve had anal sex with multiple partners in the past 3 months.
This both opens up blood donation to msm in exclusive relationships or who don’t have anal sex and more accurately identifies hiv risk from people who aren’t msm. This is exactly the sort of guidelines we’ve been fighting for for years. This is a major win for both gay rights and blood donation in the US. Now a bunch of people who couldn’t donate before can donate now.
a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
this has a better plot than 90% of action movies
To understand how ridiculous this is, the first successful powered airplane flew this same year, 1903
You’re understating how ridiculous
it wasn’t just the same year. it was nine days later
to fly is to go against the will of god
this post is already on tumblr, why repost it?
You must be new here.
I've been here for a decade and my puzzlement over this kind of behavior remains evergreen
I admire the restraint not to point out you literally wrote the post that was screencapped.
this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.
Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison
Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck
Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it
Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.
In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.
To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.
There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.
This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.
We are in danger of inventing another critically acclaimed cult film bro jerkoff film that doesn't exist....
I would watch this so many times.
The film isn’t actually all in black and white, just mostly. * It starts in color, albeit muted, as it establishes its life in the butler’s care. Soft beige, pinks, blues. The world is conservative and clean, predictable. The film still looks ‘old’ even with these colors. * The first black and white film happens in a jarring sequence that happens in a series of blurs as her cage is covered and tossed into the street. It’s not immediately clear that the film has become black and white; when the curtain lifts, the gray of the street just looks like a filthy city street without color. It’s only when you see the people, completely black and white, that you realize the color is gone. * Seemingly random objects are still in color throughout the film, though. A cufflink here. A napkin there. A wristwatch. Small, often beautiful things that the camera seems to follow for no obvious reason. One of these, she finds in a park near a bush - a doll with a dirty dress. The camera fixates on it for a long time, and she settles near it, nesting in the park.
shit yeah
Forget zephthustra or whatever the fuck. We need to goncharov this shit.
um...woah
Hey y'all why are writers always cold?
...why?
They're always surrounded by drafts!
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh god.
How many?
Two! One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end!
What do writers have for breakfast?
Coffee?
Synonym buns!
Where do all the struggling writers live?
How are you coming up with all these?
Where?
Writer's Block!
What do writers suffer from each spring?
(I've heard a lot of them over the years.)
Allergies. Next question.
you were close; A case of allegories
Why are writers always in great shape?
Circular prose
Nope! It's because we're always running out of ideas!
Did you hear about the famous writer who turned out to be a fraud?
I did not
His life had it's prose and cons...
Why is editing a better job than writing?
It's more rewording?
Correct! I am out of jokes. :(
2023
1. COMMIT TO THE BIT
2. PARTAKE IN THE DIVINE ACT OF CREATION
3. LET THE SOFT ANIMAL THAT IS YOUR BODY LOVE WHAT IT LOVES
For those who are like- huh… here’s a translation
1) Be funny/ continue the online joke: persona you are conveying ( Think Gorbachev)
2) Have sex/fuck someone ( It is specifying say straight sex but we can ignore that part on tumblr)
3) Partake in self care
STRAIGHT SEX? IM TALKING ABOUT MAKING THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS, RIVALING PROMETHEUS IN HIS IDEA TO BREATHE LIFE INTO CLAY. IM TALKING ABOUT TRANSFORMING YOUR BODY IN YOUR IMAGE TO MAKE IT TASTE SWEETER, LIKE WATER INTO WINE. IM TALKING ABOUT PICKING UP THE PIECES AND CREATING SOMETHING NEW, TO FINISH WHAT THE COWARD FRANKENSTEIN NEVER TRULY STARTED.
STRAIGHT SEX??????
let’s not leave out any of the unfettered rage
my greatest fear is that one day i will make a big post
aaaaa afraid
I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more
Katara: wow so this is Omashu
Aang: back in my day it was called weed city
Sokka: I’m… pretty sure it wasn’t
Aang: that’s what the fire nation wants you to think
Bumi, the second they arrive: welcome to weed city
Sokka: what the fuck
can we get this post to 420,000 notes
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
:)
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Facebook deleted this almost immediately. It's almost like the ultrawealthy don't want us knowing or talking about what's at stake.
Aziraphale is the most character ever. He ran out of ideas so he declared war on hell. He canonically says fuck. His favourite colour is yellow. He’s literally an angel and can speak every language on earth but still isn’t fluent in french. He told his boyfriend to shoot him for his magic act and made him go through with it when their miracles weren’t working. He gave away his flaming sword and then lied about it for the next 6000 years. He has a bookshop that never sells books. No one’s doing it like him.
me: i don’t want to see jellyfish so i will blacklist the tag #jellyfish
people with no common sense: je11yf1sh, je11¥fi5h, j*llyf*sh, je//ÿf!sh, j3ï||yf¡sh, gel lee fisk
result: cannot account for the sheer amount of possible ways to alter the word jellyfish
conclusion: i have to see jellyfish now.
Once again, tumblr is not tiktok, tag properly.
