the comic (#1890)
my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully
okay so
- be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
- know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make
- call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)
- to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long- have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
- let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
- ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
- be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)
go and fuck her brother in an alleyway.the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step- use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
- just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh
yes
Day 2 of Hero and Partner week! I was going to do a lil gardening scene for the Flower prompt but then I realised... there's not a single opposable thumb in this team...
"The faggots never tire of fucking with the men's minds. Once all the faggots let their hair grow long, wore necklaces made of silver and shells and clothes of colorful, elaborate fabrics. They looked so stunning that the men over-looked their principles and began to look stunning also. When the men all looked like faggots, the faggots cut their hair, put on black leather and looked like the men used to look. The men were annoyed and pretended not to notice. Growing bored with basic black leather, the faggots began to elaborate. They wore black fish-net stockings and high heels with their black leather jackets. They carefully sewed imitation rhinestones all over their black leather pants. They wore feather boas as they rode their motorcycles through the devastated city. They wore flowing gold lamé gowns and work boots with their short hair and dirty fingernails. They drank beer and swore, in velvet ropes and furs. They sipped champagne and talked refined in paint-splattered blue denim. The men did not want to look at any of this. And when they had to, they became confused and petulant and unpleasant, which pleased the faggots."
-Larry Mitchell, The Faggots and Their Friends Between the Revolutions, 1977
Can one of the insane Florida men y’all have please fucking maul DeSantis to death
They need to cook up some kind of alligator mutant man and feed him a vodka redbull and just release him in that motherfucker’s house and let it rock and roll
oh damn, okay, so literally last night i was talking with friends about how unrealistic the golden horse in tears of the kingdom is and how it feels like they were just trying to one-up the white horse in breath of the wild, and then i run across this post, do a tiny bit of looking, and—no really gold horses are actually literally a real-world thing!
I remember reading about this breed in horse books. They're indeed very very old (over 3000 years old) and come from the deserts in turkmenistan. The way their hair is built helps them with the extreme temperature changes in the desert.
They're tough, with high endurance and intelligence, friendly and sensitive.
These horses are amazing, and I only knew about them because of the special John Oliver did about the dictator of Turkmenistan:
ana mendieta “people looking at blood, moffit, iowa” 1973
“In this piece, Mendieta spilled a large amount of what appeared to be chunky blood over a doorway and sidewalk on an Iowa City street. Then she removed herself from the scene and, from a distance, photographed the reactions of various passersby. […] It intimates to passersby that a grievous and dramatic injury has taken place, but it gives no explanation and, more important, no recourse to action. It may incite horror, concern, compassion, and revulsion—in short, pity and fear—but it doesn’t offer anywhere for these feelings to go. […] Each pedestrian’s only real choice is to walk on by, which looks from the outside—and likely felt, on the inside—like an uncaring abandonment, even if of an indeterminate or imaginary entity. […] And somewhere out of sight lurks Mendieta, a voyeur of each passerby’s involuntary voyeurism. […] People Looking at Blood says, Look at this pile of carnage, with no clear story, source, assailant, or victim. Just look at it. Now look at others looking at it. (And I will be looking at you looking.)”
— The Art of Cruelty, Maggie Nelson
bloodthirstypandasfromthesky
Ana Mendieta was murdered by her husband and fellow artist Carl Andre. This work became a self fulfilling prophecy and meditation on tragedy, the nature of violence, and peoples unwillingness to help.
And no I will not shut up about this.
By the way, her husband never went to prison for what he did.
But it’s NOT about unwillingness to help! It’s NOT about people not caring!! It’s so very explicitly the opposite!!!
I’ve BEEN in this situation. You walk past an old crime scene, or the place where an accident happened, and you see evidence of something terrible. If it’s old, maybe broken glass, or scuff marks.
But sometimes, you’re too late. Sometimes someone is on the ground, and EMTs are already helping, and the only helpful thing you can do you is move on, refuse to linger, refuse to form a crowd.
Sometimes there’s dried blood, or fresh blood, but when you look around you can’t find anyone hurt or needing help. Whatever happened, it has happened without you, and you can’t undo it or make it better. You could contact an authority, report what you’ve seen, but that’s just sharing information. It doesn’t FEEL like helping.
Humans are by nature incredibly compassionate creatures. What is more heartbreaking to an animal designed to bring comfort than a pain that cannot be comforted? A hurt that cannot be soothed?
You are confronted by this helplessness, and it looks you in the face and says, “It’s too late for you to fix this. You must move on, and hope that next time, you aren’t.” And then you do. You have to. There is no other choice.
Ana Mendieta’s piece is not condemning the observed- it’s mourning their directionless compassion, their grief, their uncertainty- their concern and hope offered to someone or something they will never know, never speak to, never be able to help.
It says that we love each other, that we care for one another, and that even if we are lost and no one ever finds us, we are cared for long after we are gone, and by people who never knew our names.
Our outrage at her death only proves this. Now that we know her life ended tragically, what will you do? What CAN you do? Nothing. You will observe the blood, experience something that cannot be captured on film, and move on.
“What CAN you do? Nothing. You will observe the blood, experience something that cannot be captured on film, and move on. “
Ok , I'm considering joining the skeleton war 2022 but, I am undecided on sides, so wizards, skeletons, convince me
WE ARE UNION BASED AND WE PROVIDE FULLY PAID MEDICAL AND DENTAL INSURANCE
I'm literally a mushroom I don't have teeth
DO YOU WANT SOME
THIS IS NOT SARCASM I AM GENUINELY OFFERING A CHANCE FOR YOU TO OBTAIN TEETH
I except teeth
the reason i love the comparison between angels and machines (robots, transmission towers, trains, computers, etc.) is that it gets to the heart of what angels essentially are: divine machines. they’re mechanisms through with the divine is able to act, created with a purpose and “happy” to fill it simply because they were made to do so. they have more in common with a machine programmed to run on algorithms and make calculations based on input commands than they do with humanity, even if they bear a human visage - an attempt by the divine to help bridge the gap. angels do not need to be eldritch monstrosities to be terrifying, because they are already alien to us simply by being angels. for an angel to choose to deviate from their purpose and achieve free will is to fall because in order to have free will they can no longer be an angel, because an angel is defined by its purpose. much like the stories we tell of robots that gain sentence, only to discover that they can never truly be human, but neither can they go back to being a machine, angels who fall become something else entirely, purposeless and adrift and alone. it is a tragic sacrifice.
“did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” did it hurt when you realized you no longer had any purpose? that you weren’t needed, and could easily be replaced? that the very fabric of your existence had been irreparably torn asunder and it was up to you to pick up the pieces and make something of them? that you would always be seen as a deviant monster by some no matter what you did next? that your choices have consequences? if you spent your whole life knowing exactly who you were and what you were meant to be, only to be cast aside and left to fend for yourself when you changed your mind, would you not be hurt? would you not be scared? would you not be angry?
I was reading something about Whitestown, Indiana and my eyes nearly popped out of my head thinking it was one of THOSE comically racist towns. Nice to know, at least the name, wasn’t that.
Racisttown, named after the abolitionist Stopbeing Racist,
That's nothing. Check THIS shit out
WHAT THE HELL
Dende no La Croix
(+ Bonus!)
they're dead now.
Hey it's not showing up in the rbs for some reason but this is the continuation!
Okay fuck so for like the entire first part I thought this person was like... Using one of those 3d pens to replace lace in this curtain somehow
Then the next couple I was like "wait are they just like painting the curtains a different color? Were the lace threads just black or something on that other one?"
Then finally it clicked and I freaked the fuck out
EXCUSE ME
The artist is Leeah Joo, and she's a Korean-American painter. You can see more of her paintings on her website or her Instagram, where this video was originally posted.
i think star trek should write an in universe reason why some series don’t have swearing and some do. make it a universal translator glitch or something.
the captain of each ship can turn the swears on or off when they want to
Kirk would have kept the swears on but any ship carrying Dr. Leonard McCoy is required by Starfleet regulations to turn them off
How dare you keep this in the tags @narwhalsarefalling
[Image description: a set of tumblr tags that say "#the tags from op are hilarious #spock gets briefly placed on a ship where the cursing is turned on and it turns out he’s been cursing like a sailor this entire time. #’fascinating’ is the universal translator’s way of making ‘fucking nuts dude’ starship appropriate #turns out when the translator says ‘illogical’ spock is actually saying something more like #‘your asshole and brain are indistinguishable from one another. do you really fucking need me to explain this you illiterate piece of shit’ #i cannot decide which would be funnier: if it turns out all vulcans talk like that actually #or just spock. #star trek #tos."
Followed by a screencap from Star Trek: The Original Series showing Spock raising an eyebrow, it is captioned in all caps, "Fucking Nuts Dude."
/end image description]
tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva
This feels like the start to a horror movie and I love it
Me rn:
Thinking about that manga that was like "this character prefers to dress as a woman whenever able. They're considered "one of the girls" and people often forget about their assigned gender because they present so femininely in appearance and behaviour. They've trained their voice and treated their body to be as feminine as possible. They have an arc about hating the presence of their facial hair, as well as struggling with their sexual identity. In the future, this character will receive chest implants and maintain a female public identity. This character is cis"
You right
isnt this just what is going on with F1nnster?
you understand the difference in agency between a real person and a fictional character right
F1nnster is real?
??????
Anonymous asked:
why don't you have any checkmarks?
Because that is false authority. I have real authority which is to say I am loud and asshole.
I ain’t clicking that shit motherfucker
Other child: *reaches for legos at the library’s play table*
Toddler: NO DO NOT DESTROY MY PANOPTICON
