this is what I do to the people who put unfunny additions to my posts 

wow uh violence isnt an answer hunty

hmmm

No cops at Pride, just Elton John with his Gucci shirt and a knife

no cops just elton john with his elton john brass knuckes

happy pride, everyone

pov elton john finds you 

Love those ads for fake puzzle games where the puzzle is blatantly unsolvable

Like

nah i got this bruv

dont just bring up ancient memories like that with no hesitation

WHATS NARUTO FUCKING ABOUT

12 years ago, a nine-tailed fox appeared. if you believe it! naruto! naruto! believe it! belieeeeeeeeeeeve it! yeah here i am with my ninja clan. ninja clan. here we stand. naruto! i’m on my way. naruto! i’ll be okay. getting ready to fight on sight. my best friends by my side. sa-soo-kay - is really cool. sakura - the beautiful

i understand

Translation: I told this girl sent next to me on the bus that her guide dog was cute and she said "Aw I wouldn't know" and I choked on my coffee

I think this is the first one of these that i literally couldn't understand a damn thing written

Irn bru is a scottish soda not coffee, this isn't just a translation this is a localization

this is an on fire garbage can……. could be a nursery

western cat twitters are like “HoOman” and japanese cat twitters are like “Today I will consider the state of things.”

you forgot russian cat tumblr

Russian cats are right in the middle of the two

When they said it might sing, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

I think my dinner is possessed.

THAT IS NOT A “HUMMING NOISE” 

Nothing rouses my appetite like the wails of the damned.

@infiniteadventureswithyou

I can’t breathe.

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I love animals so much

Pudditat opens doors so they can go out for a walk oMG

Cute!

Most powerful wizard

"ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?" uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen me and i need to have sex immediately

Every time someone’s like “who are you gonna call when you get robbed?”

1. Know how I know you’ve never been robbed?

2. I am going to call my insurance company and file a claim, the only usefulness a cop has at this point is generating a report number for said insurance company to refer to

3. Seriously all a cop’s gonna do after establishing that the robber/burglar/whoever isn’t there anymore is say “what do you want me to do about it?” and leave

Also:

So, ya know.

“you have mental illness” actually i don’t, those are just unfortunate side effects from using the powers from my amulet to often. such power deranges a man.