Another year older today !
Had a lie in
Got new vans
Took my kid to the park
Had a drum lesson with my bestie
And going for dinner with my fam later .
My cousin is in critical condition in the hospital and its really not looking good for her atall .
She is refusing treatment at this point .
It has only hit me now just how much I needed him to talk to when things got rough .
I feel embarrassed now as I allowed myself to feel close to someone who i didn't realise was in actual fact, keeping me at arms length and always would . I probably shouldn't have been so open and gave so much of myself to that relationship in hindsight. I was naive and too emotional.
Everything's a mess.
I don't think I'll ever allow myself to feel close to another person again .
Things are awful.
And I just need someone to fucking hold me.
I'm lost .
the art of holding hands. that lingering warmth of the significant other in our hands, that stays in us and we crave for it.
I'm 30 years old with my own house and pay my own bills with two children.
Told my mum I was thinking about getting a drumkit . Was gonna think it over .
She's never been best pleased with most of my life choices ..
She said "you absolutely should not do that,it's a silly idea. Where are you gonna put it? You have kids ,you are 31 this year and.... ".
Long story short
It's out for delivery 😏
Saying goodbye to this mirror is gonna be hard . Last hurrah at my mammys house to say farewell . Gonna be a sad one 💔
Blink 182 - I Miss You
September 1st can't come quick enough 😍