Sarcastic Sinnamion Roll

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

“i wouldn’t look back bc logically if she’s not there it wouldnt help to look and if she is there looking back would cause me to lose her” cool so has love never made you stupid and insane

another thing thats interesting is i think most people assume its a walk of reasonably short length that you have to resist looking back. but we dont know how long that walk was. its out of the underworld, time could work very differently. could be days. could be months. could you walk for months without looking back to see if your love is okay? i dont think you could

exactly. like oh you’re not going to look back? have you never lost a love? there is so much looking back.

My goal in life is to be the person running the bookstore in the horror thriller where the protagonist has to go to track down a rune. I've got stupid hair and a vest or something. The protagonist shows me a rune drawn on a napkin and I say shit like "Aha! Just a moment!" Before skittering off for some gay ass book

When the DM says something like “The room appears to be empty” or “so you touch the object?”

Fun DM tip: always do that. Even if it really is empty or nothing will happen. Really helps curb meta gamming and can get some funny reactions. My favorite is asking how they open the door or asking “so you just stand in front of it and open it normally” then suddenly they’re trying to describe a totally abnormal way of opening a door that doesnt involve them being in front of it

niko thats mean

When my players roll a bad perception check I like to say, “there *seems* to be nothing there.” Especially if there is actually nothing there.

This is my method of describing incidents to build tension. I swear, some of the best ‘traps’ in my campaigns, have been just how I word their checks to make them doubt literally every possibility in a dungeon.

not to turn u on or anything but i won't leave u when things get hard

Twitter threads are incomprehensible and dense and while they insist you can be "ratioed," you technically never win a Twitter argument.

On Tumblr you can win so decisively, you force that blog to deactivate and then that post will drag around that user's dead fucking body for all of time.

Every time you see it, it's a victory lap around a coffin that we'll never bury. It's astounding.

for the record. i dont post cringe to keep the twitter users at bay. i do not post cringe at all. if you cringe at my posts, thats on you, not me. i am simply having a good time on this webbed site and if that makes you cringe, i am sorry for whatever you see in me that shames you so.

My favourite math fact is that 0.9999999.. is equal to 1. Exactly. Not approximately. Not as a rounded number. 0.9999 (recurring) is exactly 1.

Question. How the fuck does that work?

I tried explaining it here:

Here’s another perspective on why .999… repeating is exactly equal to 1.

For any two distinct real numbers, we can always find a rational number strictly between them, i.e. that rational number must be able to be expressed as a terminating decimal or a repeating decimal.  To be clear, that rational number is strictly between the two values; it is not allowed to be equal to either.

Suppose k is a rational number strictly between 1 and 0.9999….  If this is possible, then, I can write k exactly as either a decimal with finite digits, or I can write k as a repeating decimal.  The problem is, there are no decimals with finite digits between 1 and 0.999… , and there is no way to write a repeating decimal that is greater than 0.999… and still less than 1.  Either way, a k strictly between 1 and 0.999… does not exist.  The only way this can be true is if those two numbers are not actually distinct.  That is to say, 1 = 0.999…..

i truly appreciate how math seems like it’s this infallible always-true only-one-answer thing, when in reality math is just like:

Another way to think of this is: Say:

X = 0.99999… 10X = 9.999999… 10X-X = 9.99999…. - 0.99999 9X = 9 X= 1

@math-is-magic

Yours is the only proof my brain finally clicks with, but man do I hate this.

So I guess I’m saying: “Thanks, I hate it!”

so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss 

lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph

try you human brick 

OP why did it take you 2 years to respond to that comment

Source

waiting for my knight in shining armor (ibuprofen) to rescue me from the horrors (head hurty)

Concept: a bunch of high school Satanists get drunk in the local graveyard and try to conjure a demon, but they’re using one of those “reconstructionist” ritual books that gets its sources all mixed up, so they end up with a minor Mithraic fertility spirit that hasn’t spoken with humans in like 1700 years instead. By the terms of its binding it’s not allowed to leave until it’s ensured a successful harvest for its summoners, which is a problem, because none of these goobers have ever raised so much as a houseplant; if it wants to go home, it’s going to have to teach them how to garden - whether they want to learn or not!

“Five high school sophomores were arrested today on charges of operating an illegal pot growing business behind the Home Depot on I-95. The 200-foot-tall plants, which police could see from their station…”

seeing that "achievement unlocked, survived tumblr porn ban" post being reblogged by people who LITERALLY RETURNED FROM TWITTER AFTER HEARING THE NEWS

YOU did not "survive the porn ban", you ran away!! you abandoned your blog for twitter, and now you come crawling back and act like you've been here the entire time????? THIS IS STOLEN VALOR

The ultimate weapon of the final war…

are you telling me americans have stores that open up SPECIFICALLY for halloween and just. dont exist any other time of the year. you people are insane

Imagine an empty storefront. Some business that closed years ago. The building stands empty, unused for literal months. And then boom. Fall comes around and there’s a Spirit Halloween. There’s no escape.

what the fuck 😁

Yeah this is a thing

Are you serious

Yes and they are divine gifts of beauty and cheap plastic lawn decorations.

… I honestly assumed that the existence of Halloween stores was just a running joke in American TV shows.

No they’re very real

Can confirm this phenomenon also occurs in Canada

It’s fun

Oh, it’s a blast.

Wait, so during non-halloween they are just empty? Like, they don’t switch between seasonal decorations (like christmas, easter, etc), they just…close and wait for next year???

Yeah, it’s not a permanent store. A company will rent an empty building for the 2-3 months before halloween, sell halloween stuff, and then clean everything up and disappear until the following year. And they’ll usually set up in different buildings from year to year. They just find any good-sized empty store space that will give them a cheap, short-term lease.

It’s so temporary that the halloween stores don’t even have a real sign, they just hang up a banner outside:

So you’re telling me that every year for a month or two the Spirit of Halloween possesses a dead building then disappears?

that is exactly what we’re telling you

Same with fire work stores for Fourth of July

“I am not, the hell, a man. Nor am I from the so-called sunshine state” florida man stated in an exclusive interview.

hello @sashayed your gay haunted wedding is doing numbers on tumblr as god or whoever intended

ghosts loved it btw 😌

It’s kind of a shame that “Catholics worship the saints and Mary on the same level as god” is the prevalent thought among non-Catholics because “Catholics treat the saints and Mary as a divine call center” is both more true in my experience and INFINITELY funnier

“Hello, thank you for praying for intercession.  My name is Saint Anthony of Padua, for quality and training this prayer will be recorded.  How can I help you today?

Oh, you’re losing your mind?  Ok so unfortunately this line is for lost items and not lost minds, so I will go ahead and connect you to... mhm this sort of thing happens all the time so it’s totally alright... mhm... so what I’m going to do is connect you to St. Dymphna at our mental illnesses department and she should be able to assist you with any questions you have about your problem, if you will hold just a moment please...”

who’s ready to have an absolutely insane girl summer . a fucking batshit girl summer. an off putting and creepy girl summer.

what the fuck is morbius even about

this fucker i’m pretty sure

morbius strips? well i sure hope he does

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

I couldn't remember the word "doorknob" ten minutes ago.

ok but the onelook thesaurus will save your life, i literally could not live without this website

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