old xian’s update Nov. 26, 2022 - 19 days “Warm light”

English translation by @about19days, Joni (wtfit.i on insta) and me

actually I don't particularly give a damn if people do good things for the "wrong" reasons

donating just to feel good about yourself? awesome every penny is still present and helpful

doing volunteer work just to post about it on social media? cool I wish more people would, those volunteer hours really add up

being nice to people to "trick" them into thinking you're a good person? buddy you just accidentally marie kondoed your own personality.

feeding the hungry, housing the unhoused, healing the injured? do you think the hungry, the poor, the sick and the exhausted give a damn about your moral dilemmas? do you think for one second that something as flimsy as your intentions makes warm food, a safe bed, and the abscence of pain any less real to those who receive them?

doing nice things for "selfish" reasons is fine actually. especially if it encourages more people to do those things. if you are making the world a slightly better place to live in, I really don't care what your motivation is; the rest of us still have to live here.

Jewish proverb:

A rich man proudly announces his intention to build an orphanage. Later, however, he goes to his rabbi and says “Rabbi, I’ve decided not to do it. I realized I was only building the orphanage because I wanted to be seen as a philanthropist.”

The rabbi says, “What?! Build the orphanage! Do you think the orphans will care why you did it?”

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds - Ada Limón

i’m absolutely losing it

I was already cackling but when btr showed up I almost choked on my water this is my new favorite thing ever

@deputy-ajay-ghale

Why’d they have to drag the dogs into this? 😭😭😭

absofuckinlutely not

You’re just continuing a long line of retail tradition babey

The Evolution of Douchebag Style [full video]

Oh, he’s good.

I don’t know whether he deserves an Oscar or a restraining order.

I die laughing at this every god damn time. The prayer hands are so fucking funny

y’all, if even uninvolved people writing articles can see that you’re being jackasses, it’s time to own up to your jackassery and knock it the fuck off.

SHUT THE FUCK UP LOLLLLL

Best sk8 ep 10 tweets

Be nice to Reki!! (it is illegal to be mean)

John Cena when Langa and Reki break up:

no really 

@the-pursuit-of-sappiness

Homicidal jealous Langa is the best trope

it costs exactly $0.00 to not be an asshole and stay out of the tags for characters and ships you dislike