cursed emojis that no one asked for but I don’t care
free to use!
free to use!
who needs coherent words when you have cursed emojis
free to use!!!
OP These are genuine works of art and belong on a gallery wall somewhere (I especially like the NOmoji with the O as their mouth and “looking disrespectfully”)
Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
Pros of having ADHD:
Cons of having ADHD:
born in the wrong generation
Well fuck
I'm a big true crime fan, but I stg if I hear one more true crime content creator say, "cowoborate," I'm going to be the villainous subject of their next video.
Seriously though, if it was due to an accent or a speech impediment or SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE, I wouldn't say a word about it. How do so many articulate, intelligent speakers, think that the word "corroborate" is pronounced like that? Where did this start?
You run a late-night radio show where people call in to anonymously talk about their biggest regrets. One slow night, someone calls in, and as they talk, you slowly realize that the caller is none other than Lucifer himself.
I don’t like talking to people. Which is a strange thing for a talk-show host to say, but it’s true.
The thing is, I don’t like talking to people in person. Voices on the line are… different. They can’t see me. I can’t see them. It doesn’t make me anxious the way face-to-face does. So I’ve been working the midnight regret-line for years, and rarely interact with anyone outside it, which makes me happy. People sometimes call just to get things off their chest, and it helps them if I listen. Most of them, though, want advice on how to handle their regret.
The secret to giving good advice is pretty simple, and I worked it out early on. There are three keys to it. I have two staple pieces of advice, which I re-dress in language appropriate to each situation. The first one is ‘the only actions you can control are your own’. Whether I’m explaining that you can’t stop someone from divorcing you, why your kid hates you now, or why you can’t love someone into getting over an addiction, it all comes down to the same thing. You can’t control other people. Your responsibility is for your own actions and choices.
The second one is for problem solving. Apply the scientific method, basically – that’s the best way I know to solve problems, anyway. Most people don’t know it, so I explain it in terms they can understand, and coach them through a couple of applications.
The third thing is to just listen. Really listen. People want to be heard, and I’m good at that. It’s why I’m good at weeding out the fakes, and why people usually end the call feeling better.
Some nights are quiet, and I play music, or talk. I tell them, often, that anyone can call. It’s okay if it’s not something big, or if it is. If it’s criminal, the recording will be passed on to the relevant authorities, but we won’t do more than that. Sometimes kids call, or old people. Most people don’t listen to them, but I do. I like to think I make them feel safe.
This one night started like any other. I talked an old woman through rebuilding her relationship with her daughter, and a young man through a bad breakup. Then nobody called for a while, so I played some Vivaldi. Then…
Then the voice came on the line. A deep and very beautiful voice… it was like talking to Idris Elba or Christopher Lee, but with a hint of melodious accent that I couldn’t place. “I suppose,” it said, and it sounded so sad my throat tightened in sympathy, “that my greatest regret is the breach with my father. I was… disowned. Cast out. I never meant for it to go that far. I didn’t want to never see him again.”
sorry if u dont think im funny but that’s not my problem my target audience (me) has already been met
Let’s talk about the fabulous aromantics out there
Happy pride month to those who are scared
Happy pride month to those who are proud
Happy pride month to those who are out
Happy pride month to those who are closeted
Happy pride month if you’re trying to figure yourself out
Happy pride month if you’ve known for years
Happy pride month to those who it’s their first
Happy pride month to those who have celebrated for years
Happy pride month to those who are afraid to celebrate
Happy pride month to those who will scream it from the rooftops
Happy pride month to you.
AaAAAhhHhhhHHHHHHH!!!! Now I'm thinking about why my little brother got diagnosed very early on and I NEVER DID AND IT WAS SO OBVIOUS WHY DID MY TEACHERS JUST LET ME SUFFER WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY HELP ME LEARN COPING SKILLS WHY DID I HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT ON MY OWN? WHY AM I STILL FIGURING IT OUT ON MY OWN AT 30 YEARS OLD?
Her name is Katalin Karikó. Hungarian. Daughter of a butcher. Her thesis work became the basis of the mRNA vaccine technology. Read the article here.
My favorite bits from the article include how Dr. Kariko celebrated the fact that the vaccines that used her mRNA research worked
“On Nov. 8, the first results of the Pfizer-BioNTech study came in, showing that the mRNA vaccine offered powerful immunity to the new virus. Dr. Kariko turned to her husband. “Oh, it works,” she said. “I thought so.”
To celebrate, she ate an entire box of Goobers chocolate-covered peanuts. By herself.”
JARED???????
??????? JARED 25 ??????
This genuinely the funniest paragraph I’ve ever seen. I’m not even picking on the OP at all! The phrasing is perfect! The set-up, the punchline....everything. This person is an outsider artist.
Take me down to Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls be pretty, didn’t make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your ass gets dumb ooO I’ve! Become so numb! I can feel you there!
You’ve exactly captured the way my brain processes songs.
Whaaaaaaaatt? 🤯 This is amazing!
