What if...? Marisha Ray PC Class Swap!
Laudna: Circle of Spores Druid
Beau: Great Old One Warlock/Storm Sorcerer
Keyleth: Way of the Elements Monk
You realize, of course, that now we need everybody else, right?
This is AMAZING!

What if...? Marisha Ray PC Class Swap!
Laudna: Circle of Spores Druid
Beau: Great Old One Warlock/Storm Sorcerer
Keyleth: Way of the Elements Monk
You realize, of course, that now we need everybody else, right?
This is AMAZING!
Imagine never doing this sport ever before, at 33, train for half a year while maintaining a full time job filled with a bunch of public appearances (and like, life altering work deals, the whole animated m9)….
And then have your first real fight ever in front of thousands and thousands of people, against a more experienced, taller, and 10+ years younger opponent!!!!
Like FUCK man, i’m so fucking proud of her.
Marisha is an inspiration for so many reasons. I hope she knows how much she means for many of us.
I've seen this before, but it's been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn't need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.
Something about Jaune rushing them all after the Cat and then stopping short at the Paper Pleaser’s village
Something about the Paper Pleasers ascending so quickly and coming back to where they “died” because their hearts remember that their knight needs help
Something about Weiss, Yang, and Blake standing by his side and doing what they were too late to do for Ruby
Something about Jaune that accepting failing doesn’t mean he’s not brave or good and THAT is what finally gets the party to the tree
Something about Alyx talking to the tree and deciding she wants to stay in the Ever After to fix everything including Jaune
Something about Jaune failing to defeat the Cat because it plays on his trauma, freezing him and making him defenseless against an attack from his own dead partner
And then, something about the friend who showed him that failure doesn’t mean you’re not good or brave…
…that friend killing him with a fireball, the same way that Cinder “killed” her
Paper Mario Movie :]
They COULD concievably adapt the plot of the Paper games into a decent movie without changing artstyles, but the camerawork would need to be Oscar-worthy...
Something just hit me:
THE TEAR TATTOOS ON ZELDA AND THE HYLIA FIGURE.
The Zonai are ANCIENT, right? And there's this theory that Hylia's a Zonai Goddess... Right?
You know who ELSE has Tear tattoos?!?!?!
The Shadow Folk themselves hold the same tattoos in their entire iconography! To the point where it's their most recognizable symbol! What if they kept it to honor their goddess?
Skyward Sword Impa is the best example I can find, as she's the closest to the original Goddess Hylia in the timeline... She's got the tattoo in the same spot as Zelda in TotK!
So far it adds up!
“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).
“Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It’s very simple.
Blood is what now?
It’s imitation seawater what part is confusing
Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.
Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.
Thank you that’s…very disturbing
It’s not my fault you’re human.
Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever.
You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow,” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs I can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that’s the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so I don’t explode or shrivel up) so I can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”
“Wait a minute,” you say a couple of generations later, because you’re not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about I put it in tubes? I can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything I want to keep goes in my water! Anything I don’t, I dump back into the outside water! I’m a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that’s a GENIUS!”
“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is so great. Look how big I’m getting. I even have a special pump to move my seawater around, and these cool filter systems to keep the chemicals in it right, and that control and chemical concentration has let me grow so many energy-intensive, highly specialised organs! Being big is so hard. I need special cells just to carry my oxygen around now, to make sure my enormous, constantly-operating body has enough of it.”
At this point you are embodying a fish, and eventually, fish start straying into water with different pressures and salinity levels. (I mean, they do that since befor ehty’er fish, but… look, I’m trying to keep things simple here.) “What the FUCK,” you think. “My inside water is at a different salinity and pressure to the outside water?? How am I supposed to deal with that? I can’t have freshwater inside my seawater tubes! My cells have a set salinity and they would explode! I need to start beefing up my regulatory and filter systems so that my inside seawater STAYS SEAWATER OF THE CORRECT SALINITY even if the outside water is different! Fortunately, adding salt to my seawater is a lot easier than removing it, and I want to be saltier than this weird outside water.” At this point you beef up your liver and urinary systems to compensate for different salinities. (Note: the majority of fish, freshwater and saltwater, have a fairly narrow band of salinities they can live in. Every fish doesn’t get to deal with every level of salinity; they are evolved to regulate within specific bands.)
You also, at some point, go out on land. This is new and weird because you have to carry all of your water inside. “It’s a good thing I turned myself into a giant bag of seawater,” you think. “If I wasn’t carrying my seawater inside, how would I transport all these important chemicals between my organs and the environment?” As you specialise to live entirely outside of the water, you realise (once again) that it’s a lot easier to add salt to water than to remove it in great quantities. Drinking seawater in large amounts becomes toxic; your body isn’t specialised for removing that amount of salt. Instead, you drink freshwater, and add salts to that. The majority of your organs are, at this point, specialised for moving your seawater around, protecting it, adding stuff to it, or taking stuff out. You have turned yourself into an intelligent bag for carrying and regulating a small amount of imitation seawater, and its salinity (and your commitment to maintaining that salinity) is based entirely on the seawater that some early animals started to build tubes around a long time ago.
And that’s what a human is!
Well, there’s another few steps, of course.
Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.
A mammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is a tremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyone’s a bag of chemicals; but mammals slosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,
and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: “my internal ocean is so good-“
“Bullshit,” said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)
“My internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS,” you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, “that for my next trick, I shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. I shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-”
“Oh, ANYONE can lay an egg,” yodel the fish, and the ray adds: “ontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!!”
And you’re like, “yeah no, it’s an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically I’m going to take some cells and brew them up-“
“Like an egg.”
“Like an egg. An egg but internally.”
“Yeah,” said the viviparous reptile, “yeah, like, that can work really well. I’ve always said it’s the highest test of one’s chemical know-how. It’s a lot of work. And forget about support from your family - forget about support from your PHYLUM - all you get is criticism.”
“I’m gonna do it on purpose forever,” you said. “The highest chemical, thermoregulatory, immunological, everything-logical challenge. It’s gonna be my thing.”
“I’m with you,” said a viviparous fish, stoutly. “Representation.”
You kindly don’t point out, once again, that you’re planning to do this outside the ocean, in a range of temperatures; carrying the dividing cells in a perfect 37.5• solution of saline broth in all terrains, breathing oxygen in a complicated matter, you know, bit more difficult; but you need your allies.
“It’s solid,” says the coelacanth.
“But is it metal?” says the deep-vent organism.
“Oh, it’s metal. I will feed the young,” you say, magnificently, “on an echo of the mother ocean. The first rich feast of cellular matter, the first hunt for sustenance, the first bite they sip of our liquid planet-”
Everyone waits.
“Will be a blood byproduct. My own blood byproduct.”
Everyone looks uncomfortable.
“But,” a hagfish says carefully, “don’t you outdoorsy guys still need your blood?”
You cough and explain that if you stay wet enough internally and hydrate frequently, you should be able to produce enough blood byproduct to sustain your hellish new invention until they can eat your peers.
The outrage that follows includes questions like “is this some furry shit?” And: “milk has WATER in it?”
And you won the bet. “My inner ocean is such a perfect homage to the primordial soup that I can personally cook up an entire live hairy mammal in it. And then generate excess blood byproduct from my body and give it to the small mammal until it gets big.”
That is an absolutely bonkers pitch, by the way, and everyone thought you were a showoff, even before the opposable thumbs. When the winter came, and the winter of winters, and the rain was acid and the air was poison on the tender shells of their eggs and choked the children in the shells; when the plants turned to poison, and the ocean turned against you all; when the climate changed, and the world’s children fell to shadow; your internal ocean was it that held true. A bet laid against the changing fates, a bet laid by a small beast against climate and geography and the forces of outer space, that you won. The dinosaurs fell and the pterosaurs fell and the marine reptiles dwindled, and you, furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship, held hope internally at 37.5 degrees. Which is another thing that humans do, sometimes.
It has been MONTHS, @elodieunderglass, and I am still mumbling “furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship” under my breath as a comfort phrase, and the FUCKING INDIGNITY that it came from this godforsaken post about THE HORRIBLE WETNESS OF MAMMALS!
“The horrible wetness of mammals” would make a great band name.
“hold hope, internally, at 37.5 degrees” and “Mammals internalize everything (eggs, grudges)” Now live permanently in my vocabulary
We all know the scene where he is shown:
The voiceover makes it seem as if he comes into his Demise power at that moment. But look closer at his forehead.
It’s faint (and not the best quality, sorry), but he has one of the Tears there. It emits a golden shine.
Magatama are known to ward off evil. Ganondorf has one of the Tears (=magatama) on his forehead while the aura of Malice is wafting around his body—leaving him?
I’m calling bullshit on the voiceover here. It’s a red herring to make us believe Ganondorf will be our villain. What this scene LOOKS LIKE is a desperate struggle against the Malice.
Also, keep in mind his promotional artwork: there, he wears traditional Gerudo garb of the present-day Gerudo. We don’t see that garb anywhere in the trailer, not yet: because Ganondorf is not freed from Demise yet.
Honestly, at this point I’m about to eat my hat if Ganondorf does NOT join us in the fight against Demise (who we see for a SPLIT SECOND:)
Look at that. Sure, the fiery hair COULD be happening while Ganondorf is awakened. But look closer. Look at his arms.
Scales.
Does Ganondorf have scales on his arms? Nope! Scaley boy has always been Demise.
Conclusive evidence? Not yet, of course. But I won’t be deterred from this theory until it’s proven wrong by the game.
Check out all the Easter eggs hidden in that art, lol
Plus a sneak preview of one of the included recipes: De Rolos’ Revenge Pasta!
For generations, the traditional dish of the de Rolos, rulers of the city of Whitestone, was a warming pasta puttanesca. Then the Briarwoods took over the city, slaughtered all but two of the de Rolos, and reigned for years of gloom and terror. After the survivors, Percy and his sister Cassandra, reclaimed Whitestone with Vox Machina's help, some old traditions were bound to evolve. Now a new dish has been added to the celebratory rotation. The topping is white, like Percy's hair, rather than the red of blood, and the pasta contains two entire heads of garlic. Partake in good health and stinky breath. Unless you're a vampire, in which case: go straight to hell, and say hi to the Briarwoods for us.
PREP TIME: 10 minutes
COOK TIME: 20 minutes
Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the spaghetti and cook according to the package instructions, 9 to 12 minutes. Drain in a colander.
Heat the olive oil in the now-empty pot over medium heat. Add the garlic and red pepper flakes and cook, stirring often, until the garlic is very fragrant and soft, 2½ to 3½ minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and add the cooked spaghetti, 1 teaspoon of salt, ½ teaspoon of black pepper, and the parsley. Toss the pasta to evenly coat it with the infused oil.
Transfer the pasta onto serving plates and top each portion with a generous dollop of ricotta cheese. Drizzle with olive oil and finish with additional black pepper.
Ok but I love that in botw Link was alone, like very alone in a big world full of ruins and dwindling societies. And NOW in totk it's shown that he won't be alone at all, he's got the new champions and all the people he's met on his journey have got his back too. That's just so wholesome to me. It's very literally everyone going "you helped us and saved Hyrule, now it's our turn to help you". I'm in tears.
"It was dangerous to come alone."
"That's just it, Ganon. I'm NEVER alone."
If this means anything to anyone
"The Pioneers Zonai used to ride these babies for MILES!"
Pictured here: Ganondorf, once again restructuring Hyrule Castle to make it a hopeless dungeon for whatever Hero shows up to defeat him.
Jump in the cadillac, princess!
One more month!
Pictured here: Ganondorf, once again restructuring Hyrule Castle to make it a hopeless dungeon for whatever Hero shows up to defeat him.
We knew since DAY ONE but it's good to finally have the confirmation!
Finally confirming what we been knew since the teaser released.
We ALL knew it was him!
Sidon, Tulin and Riju's new oficial arts!
Okay... So... Sidon doesn't START with his Dad's crown...
Oh no. Whalelord's gonna bite it mid-game, isn't he?
And remember what Nintendo said...?
"Darker than Majora's Mask."
Holding on to my Sage theory, but it's not looking good for Teba... Or Patricia, for that matter, since even in AoC Riju and her were never far apart...
Wait...
WAIT. THERE WHERE NO RITO OTHER THAN TULIN IN THE TRAILER. I know we're all worried about Teba, but...