dance magic dance

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

Sammy’s life is hard

...Just read this thread. JUST READ IT.

it'd be really fucking funny if you met your significant other in a saw trap. like you're at a family reunion and some distant cousin asks how you met and you have to be like "yeah they had to pull out some of my teeth. but the chemistry was great."

when you get married you send jigsaw an invitation as a joke but he actually shows up

listen I’ve seen none saw movies but I have seen sleeping beauty so I would rather invite jigsaw to every significant event in our relationship than risk not inviting him

She has a lot to say but it's all very small

horrid little cat saved me from my devil's nap by putting her paw directly into my mouth

pov your sleep paralysis demon is very cute

oh this is not even CLOSE to the angriest chickpea looks. at any given moment she has the face of someone about to knife you for bread in the sewer. this is just how her face is! a selection of miss piss for your perusal:

If you are thinking about it on paper, the bus running every half hour doesn't sound so bad, until you're waiting at the stop and you miss a bus or it's delayed. Then you're waiting a very, very long time. To people who never take transit, that's probably fine. Why do you care. To people who only take transit, they're expecting it, it's baked in their lives. But the important part, what really impacts our cities, is what happens to people for whom transit is an option.

The spiral goes like this. You go to take the bus instead of driving, thinking "I'm going to o have a couple drinks" or "I don't want to worry about parking where I'm going." So you take bus. First bus is right on time. But then you transfer from your neighborhood line to the line that takes you where you actually want to go. And your bus is delayed. And it only comes every 30 minutes. And then you're waiting, 40 minutes later, wondering where your bus is, knowing you could have driven there in 20 minutes.

Why would you ever chose to take a bus again? The bus made you waste precious time on your day off just sitting there. So next time you drive. Ridership goes down. When the transit authority asks for more money for more buses and more drivers, people point to the ridership numbers and say "why should we pay for this instead of paying for our schools/police/baseball stadium/parks/police again (let's be real that's who's taking all the money)?" If we want to increase ridership we need to actually design and fund functional transit networks. If we want people to actually ride the bus we need to make it a better option than driving, which means reliable service, which you don't get with a bus every 30 minutes.

Every 15 minutes, everywhere, all of the time.

the Laura Palmer funko pop never fails to get an honest to god belly laugh out of me. what a horrible thing

serious contender for world’s funniest object

Every year my mom vandalizes a reflection calendar with pictures of Keanu to make a “with Keanu” calendar for her friend. These are some highlights:

This is Art™️.

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

This is Lana. She is about 10 years old, and desperately needs a new home.

She belonged to my sister (now deceased) and then my mother (also now deceased).

She’s the worlds most cuddly cat. All Lana wants is to be picked up and pet. She’s never gotten the amount of love she properly deserves, but has remained sweet regardless.

I don’t live in a situation where I can keep her, but I’m trying to avoid putting her into a shelter.

We’re in Virginia, but I’m willing to drive her anywhere on the east coast if it means she will be given a good home!

Please repost so she gets more views! Help Lana find the forever home she deserves!

I think Bruce Wayne is naturally right-handed but trained himself into ambidexterity out of, basically, righteous indignation that he had a whole left hand hanging out just contributing nothing to his life of tomfoolery and shenanigans and also a little bit of anxiety because, like, what if something happened to his right hand and he needed a backup someday? crucially I think he did this as a very small child, like way before his parents even got murdered, because being kind of obstinately stubborn and nervous is his Thing and it always has been and sometimes Alfred thinks back on baby Bruce furiously forcing himself to write lefty cursive just in case and thinks alright, yes, perhaps there were warning signs.

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Reminder that BetterHelp doesn't give a fuck about their patients and is actually a fucking terrible way to get therapy.

Please find other alternatives for BH because they're ATROCIOUS.

Shoutout to all the youtubers who propagated it throughout the controversy, couldn't have done it without ya 😉

For those wondering why data-selling is generating this levels of anger, first off all data-selling should generate this level of anger. But second, this is medical data, which is normally accepted to be far more protected and private than other information. I just filed an application with a division of the social security office, and they weren't legally allowed to look at my medical records without my consent. That's how strict this usually is.

i work at an eye doctors’ practice as an optician (i help you with glasses, i don’t do the exam), and this is all super fucked up. y’all, we can’t even say a patient’s full name wherever another patient might hear it, because that identifies that person as one of our patients and therefore is a HIPAA infringement. we get clipboards with patient exam into from the optometrists, and we have to turn them upside down because someone could see that info. and god help you if you leave a patient’s prescription, which includes identifying information, right side up on a table in the public space while you help a patient choose their glasses frames

that is the degree to which HIPAA protects you. pretending to be HIPAA compliant is so fucking scummy that i wanna go poke some people with a good sharp stick

not even guilty XD

Actors and Animators should go on strike next tbh. Especially cgi animators. Put the fear back into Hollywood

Animators? Yes. Actors? If youre talking ppl like RDJ or Jamie Lee Curtis or what have you. They have more than enough fucking money. Take a look at one production cost and see how much these people are paid.

My dad is an actor/playwrite. He has to constantly search for new gigs to make ends meet, and even then ends up doing retail or lyft or doordash a lot of the time between gigs.

And my parents don't live in a huge house in New York or LA, it's a tiny townhouse in a really small city. My mom's the one who really pays the mortgage with her events organizer and house manager jobs at local theatres, and even then they struggle to afford living expenses. They used food stamps when I was a kid - not every month, but enough that I see it as a normal thing to do.

And when he does get gigs, especially like big tv gigs, working conditions are CRAP. He nearly got severe hypothermia once for having to jump in a freezing cold river in early winter from 11pm-3am, repeatedly, for a shot they didn't even end up USING.

Scheduling is abysmal, overtime is never properly compensated for, the jobs are DANGEROUS (mostly on a physical fatigue level), and work is contractual by nature. Are there some contracts that are ridiculously good? Yes, that's how contract-based work tends to happen for a lucky few.

But getting a contract like that is like winning the lottery, and even then they can be really exploitative if you don't have a kickass agent and/or a really good entertainment lawyer. There aren't really steady 9-5 full time acting jobs with benefits the way there are with other jobs. It's difficult to get any gigs in the first place, I cannot emphasize enough how much it is a constant job search.

And that's not even getting into the horrendous conditions and disrespect for voice actors. Actors should ABSOLUTELY go on strike

I fucking hope RDJ and Will Smith and everyone on top strike too. You want a real impact? Let's see what happens when top names refuse to work until the people on the bottom are compensated fairly too.

Being able to pretend it's just some uppity character actors or commercial actors lets studios distract. When there's no star for the best blockbuster to be, they can't ignore the demands.

The top-paid members of an industry strike in support of better working conditions for their coworkers, not for more money. Neil Gaiman and George RR Martin aren't striking because they want or expect to be paid more, they're striking to support the entire rest of their industry because they care about it.

Not to mention, even the big names are often treated like absolute shit.

Kate Winslet nearly got hypothermia on multiple occasions whilst filming titanic because, despite the fact that the whole thing was happening on a carefully controlled set and thus could have the water at whatever temperature he wanted, James Cameron wanted to take the "acting" out of acting and he had the water set to be as cold as possible without it being frozen. He called it method acting. He didn't bother to see if Kate could ACT as though the water was one-degree above freezing; he just called it right from the go and was like, hey, what if I make my lead actress spend several days getting in and out of BORDERLINE FREEZING WATER, so that it will look realistic.

Her chattering teeth and whole body tremors? Yeah, not acting. That was her body on the edge of actual real life hypothermia.

And look at the way they treat men these days with making them fast and dehydrate to the point of collapse, just so the director can get two seconds worth of a shot where their muscles and veins are all bulging unnaturally.

When he was filming Logan (I think it was Logan) Hugh Jackman literally DID collapse. One of the scenes of him all bare-chested and muscly and roaring angrily? Is a much shorter scene than it was supposed to be, because that's all they managed to get out of him before he LITERALLY PASSED OUT.

And these are the big name lead actors who are getting treated like this. If THEY are being treated so appallingly, what hope in hell do the smaller actors have of not being worked into the ground?

YES, the actors should go on strike. Yes, including the biggest-name stars who've never been mistreated and who get the cushiest most comfortable jobs. They should go on strike too because they support the improved conditions and pay for all those in their industry who ARENT treated well. Which is most of them.

Cat-egory 3 hurricane

The novel ones are all real situations in my novels by the way, the screenwriting one are complied from friends and my own experiences.

Funnily enough, I actually prefer writing screenplays because of the limits. My novels are fantastical magical other worlds with dragons and sorcerers, but my screenplays are mostly realist family comedy-dramas.

(Except the Baby’s First Steampunk Horror and The Mystery Series Set in an Asylum For Were-People, but they’re exceptions)

the true casualty of the battle of sodden was apparently jaskier’s hair stylist