my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command. 

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.

this website is wildly out of control

しぬｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗしぬｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ（ 佐藤チャン さんのツイート ）

THE,,, TH HANDCUFFS ON HIS FEEt???

Bdsm

@staff

@staff

it’s called immersion therapy 

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“Trick friends into thinking you have your shit together”

Singlehandedly my favorite life hack compilation, below I’ve included my favorites. Read the whole compilation: http://imgur.com/gallery/5991n

1. Put a bunch of shit in jars

You know when you buy rice, pasta, or grains, they come in perfectly good plastic packaging? Well throw them out, pour the contents into big jars, and put them on display. Voila! Oppan cottage-style.

2. Put a hardcover book on your piece of shit bedside table with a bookmark in it.

You were never going to read Crime and Punishment, but you may as well make it look like you did. If you really want to seal the deal, put a pair of glasses that you haven’t worn since high school on top. They’re back in style now, anyway.

3. Get the biggest bowl in your house and fill it with some fucking lemons.

“Better get this out of the way,” you can say just before you sit down for dinner to make sure everyone has seen it, and then never mention it again. Everyone will assume you have jars of homemade lemon curd in your pantry. But I know the truth.

I like this one:

15. Overwhelm your guests by offering them many types of tea.

“Tea? Sure! We’ve just got green, peppermint, chamomile, lady grey, irish breakfast, elderberry, lemon and mandarin, licorice, jasmine, rooibos, cinnamon, or lemongrass.” Just make up the first 10 and end up with the three you actually have in your cupboard; they’ll have forgotten the others by then.

if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you’re wrong

when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is

SWEET JESUS

SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

OH MY GOD.

I TELL PEOPLE THAT IT SMELLS “SHARP” WHEN IT’S COLD AND PEOPLE THINK I’M FUCKING INSANE.

DEAR CHRIST

COLD SMELLS THE SAME WAY SOME METALS SMELL

Rain smells round, cold smells sharp, and spring in general smells curly.

and heat smells fat and heavy

Autumn smells lovely too

All I know is my dash is 90% more nudity than ever before, now.

we got no jobs, no future, no planet or economy or society that haven’t been fucked up by the generations before us, but you know what we have tons of? 

Spite.

This is beautiful and true.

When You’re A Multishipper And Your Fandom Is Having A Ship War

Reblog if homophobia, transphobia, sexism, racism, gun violence, and kids being gassed offends you more than a nipple