THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER
for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal
before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"
and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"
Instagram and TikTok have successfully created the Torment Nexus from Jim Carrey's iconic work, "Don't put people in the Torment Nexus"
"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Now you see, I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that this square of the carpet is on a separate animation cell from the background & therefore something funky will happen if I step on it. You won’t catch me making a rookie mistake like that no sir!
Did you step on it?
I forgot it was there & stepped on it, plummeting through the concealed trapdoor into the cellars. Please send help.
Help it’s on its way!
By the way, are the bricks all the same colour?
I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black down here. All that’s visible is my eyes.
Just make sure there isn’t a second, more dangerous pair of eyes somewhere around yours
So with the Barraki undersea armies, Pridak had Takea sharks, Kalmah had giant squids and was in charge of the sea squids they used for ammunition, Carapar had Keras crabs and Pit War Tortoises, Ehlek had mostly venom eels and I think some other similar creatures like electric eels if I recall the books correctly, Mantax had an army of rays, and Takadox had… “underwater insects”.
Granted, you could argue that Mantax is vague with the ray army, but I always found it interesting how Takadox’s army was described very vaguely as just “uh, insects, I guess”. So that begs the question, what exact species COULD be in Takadox’s army?
I guess to start, like how the playsets have those weird ray looking mounts and I assume those could be some of the ray variants in Mantax’s forces, I think some of the arthropods could answer to Takadox in them? Like, there’s this one insect looking one in the Toa Undersea Attack set, but also with the Barraki Deepsea Patrol, the spider crab thing could maybe be Takadox’s? Like, maybe it being a “crab” could make it fit into Carapar’s forces, but his army seemed clearly defined while Takadox’s is incredibly vague.
So yeah, if anyone knows any specific Rahi that Takadox may have used that isn’t just me making vague guesses based on playsets.
Also weird thought on the side: imagine if some Visorak ended up in The Pit and were mutated, and being arthropods or whatever the Bionicle equivalent is, they serve Takadox. Like sure, the insect-like appearance is a thing, but also, the Visorak were servants of the Brotherhood of Makuta, and it could be a fun little way to hint at Takadox’s connections to them and how he was the one to betray the League of Six Kingdoms.
Takadox is (maybe) based on a mantis shrimp, so I just assumed “underwater insects” were shrimps and lobsters and other non-crab crustaceans. Also isopods and aquatic lice. Like, other “insects” in Bionicle don’t have to have six legs or three body sections or virtually anything else we would use to define what an insect is, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the term was applied to any and all underwater Critters With Too Many Legs. Maybe “bug” or “insect” roughly correspond with things we would call arthropods, but when just about everybody has a carapace/ exoskeleton, that’s a tricky thing to define.
Same way ice bats are “rodents”, or a giant robot is a “universe”, I guess.
It’s established in canon that Metru Nui Matoran’s masks were painted silver on top. The paint would wear away with time so presumably repainting was done every so often.
I have a headcanon that brand new Matoran were given masks painted completely silver, this would give a visual indicator to others of the Matoran’s youth so they would know this Matoran might need additional assistance or training. Starting from their first repainting, only the top part of the mask would be redone, so the Matoran’s mask gradually fades in to their natural colours. Many young Matoran get very excited when they see the first glimpse of their natural colour, especially if it’s a rare one for their element.
Takua was passed off as a new Ta-Matoran when he first arrived in Metru Nui, and while he definitely needed help learning the ropes, there was a part of him that hated being treated like a child... which was silly, he knew, because he was one... right? He developed a habit of scuffing at his mask with his knuckles to make himself look more mature and was very surprised to find blue underneath the paint.
I could see “Hasn’t grown into his colours yet” or “Still a bit shiny round the chin” as expressions to describe someone who is naive or inexperienced.
ChatGPT could pass an MBA exam but your average business grad couldn’t pass a Turing test
so funny to me when white american christians are like “ooh i incorporate my religious trauma into my art and thats why i draw these stained glass gothic church gold multi eyed reneissance sculpture angels agnus dei” like i know your protestant southern california ass didnt have any of that. go make some art about this
Damn way to read the assignment and go above and beyond.
the bleakness and sanitized feel of most American protestant churches really is an underused medium.
the trick to a good insult is sort of talking around it and making them think so that it hits harder when they realize what you’re talking about
“you look like the minotaur” -> whatever
“you look like you have a bull’s head” -> slightly funnier
“you look like you should be imprisoned in an underground labyrinth for the safety of crete” -> there we go
dome sweet dome
As some of you may know, I have been going to language school for the last few months in order to learn the world's most widely spoken and useful language: Slovenian. At this point, my Slovenian is about as coherent as, well, a McMansion. In order to feel better about myself, I have sought out a McMansion that is worse than my cases and word-order. This house (in Naperville, IL, of course) does, in fact, make me feel better, but will probably make you feel worse:
This Cheescake Factory house, built in 2005, boasts 5 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms and can be yours for the entirely reasonable sum of $3.5 million dollars. Also for some reason all the photos look like they are retouched with 2012-era Instagram filters.
First of all, trying to visualize the floor plan of this house is like trying to rotate seven cubes individually in my mind's eye. Second, if you stand right beneath the hole in the ceiling you can get the approximate sensation of being a cartoon character who has just instantaneously fallen in love.
Even if this was a relatively mundane McMansion it still would have made it into the rotation because of the creepy life-sized butler and maid. Would not want to run into them in the middle of the night.
The mural is giving 1986 Laura Ashley or perhaps maybe the background they use for Cabbage Patch Kids packaging but the floor? The floor is giving Runescape texture.
Have you ever seen so many real plants in your life? A veritable Eden.
The overwhelming desire to push one of the chairs into the haunted jacuzzi...but in reality they probably put those chairs there to keep from accidentally falling into the tub at night.
(elevator music starts playing)
This is one of the all time [adjective] rooms of McMansion Hell. I personally am in love with it, though I don't think I understand it. Perhaps it is not meant to be understood.....,
Continuing with the baseball theme, the guy in the painting looks how I feel after it's been raining in Ljubljana for two straight weeks. (Not ideal!!)
And finally:
We love a house that has four unused balconies and also a sporting grounds that is large enough to build a whole second McMansion on top of. Everyone should so value their health.
Thank you for tuning into another edition of McMansion Hell. Be sure to check out the Patreon for the two bonus posts (a McMansion and the Good House) which both also go out today!
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.
Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted
"omg it's literally alive!" Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I'm charging you 350$ for an exorcism.
"I read an article that it's showing simple self-awareness" two days, mild preparation, hot and cold reading, I can get 60$ for joints laced with sacred sage
"I just spoke to an AI and I'm... rattled to say the least, come with me on this dark journey" twenty minutes. I've got to science it up for you, but I can get you to come back every week to "disentangle the psychological imprint" for 125$
i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.
Onewa, looking up at the sky above Mata-Nui a few hours after they first arrived on the island: uh … Guys?
The other Toa Metru: yeah? What is it?
Onewa: where the fuck is the other sun???
SLKDFHKSDJFHJKSD YES
Oh fuck oh fuck guys we LOST a WHOLE SUN.
Okay, shit, okay, no one seems to notice we are are down an entire sun. No one say anything, we take this to our graves!
Nuju! You’re the expert on weird sky shit, this is all fine and normal, right-
(Nuju: *Running around in circles, screeching violently*)
Well, fuck, we broke Nuju too.
Meanwhile, on Voya-Nui, after all the bullshit those Matoran have already gone through by this point, Kazi just looks up at the new sky and thinks:
me: idk man...with the way things are right now in the 2020s it just feels like the labor movement in america is hopelessly doomed, you know? like everything's so fucked up...what do you think?
Eugene V. Debs, fighting for his life after taking 0.5 hits off the penjamin:
OMFG.
Very curious doggo
Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.
TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD
Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and














