Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

2. “Come now my child.”

*bluey the album starts playing*

3. “Oh I am so sorry. You’ve been mildly inconvenienced. How dare I truly”

4. “It is she! Her Majesty, Queen of the Sludge, Keeper of Goo, DJ Baby P (In the House) Dropper of Beats and Clapper of Hands”

5. He is in charge of bathtime and he lifted the ghoul tonight while singing “come with me and you’ll be in a world of baby sanitation” and I laughed so hard I snorted pasta

6. Okay this is more one that he said to me about the toddler but he was home with her while I was at work and I just got this text

7.

“Happy Independence Day Sweetie! Nationalism is a cancer!”

8. This is another one he said to me about her but still it made me laugh so hard I nearly choked

9.

*Penny babbling in the back seat, many la la las coming from her car seat*

“Are you singing us a song? Ah yes the dulcet tones of goblin”

10.

“Listen kid, I can’t let you have the cup anymore because you keep chugging the bath water, so we just have to remove the cup from the equation.”

11.

*penny is screaming, trying to climb back up a big slide at the playground*

“Someday you’ll learn about ,I don’t know physics and the myth of Sisyphus ,and you’ll start making a lot of connections I think. “

12. *Pen is still screaming and baby cussing about not being able to climb back up the slide*

“The problem is that you set goals for yourself that are unattainable by both man and baby.”

13.

“You can keep the cookie container, I don’t care. What kind of father would I be if I tried to separate a small raccoon child from her trash!?”

14.

*Penny is crying because the bucket she insisted on sitting in fell off the couch with her in it. Husband is bouncing her and rubbing her back after assessing that no physical damage occurred, just a bruised toddler ego*

“Oh my poor sweet angel. She fucked around and found out.”

15.

16. “The only three things this child cares about is Elmo, Cooking Videos, and Keith Tryguy”.

17.

“Hey. No! Cup privileges hereby rescinded, bath chugger”

18.

we miss him a lot

19.

20.

“I just don’t know how you and I, the two most indoorsy people to ever exist, managed to give birth to I don’t know , Baby Bear Grylls!?”

21.

“Not that I ever would because I love her and she’s my best friend, but I’m pretty sure if we just gave her one of those old timey kerchiefs on a stick and like sent her into the woods, she’d be fine. She’d come home in a week with berries and woodland friends ready to go to war for her.”

that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true 

holy shit

I can’t even imagine what meaningless filler went into panels 2-3.

oh my god these are actually funny

this is 100% true and once you remove the horrible filler bullshit its comedy gold

Color has been disappearing from the world.

A new research group used machine learning to track color changes in common materials and items, below is their findings for all color changes over time, they used 7000+ items from the 1800s to now to determine color changes in the most common items.

Below are the colors of cars by year, notice how the majority of cars are grey, white, or black compared to twenty years ago.

These aren't data points, but they are comparisons between the 'modern' homes of the 70s and 80s compared to the modern homes of today.

Carpets have equally had the same treatment of grey added to them! The most common color of carpet is now grey or beige.

Even locations that used to scream with color for decades have now modernized to becoming boring minimalist (and I love minimalism) personality-less locations.

The world is becoming colorless, why?

source paper

you can look at any folk culture around the world, past or present, and find the use of the entire color spectrum. humans are drawn to color, it holds emotional symbolism but it also reflects the land we live off of. I consider it like a celebration of life and our place in it

the problem is that we aren’t actually allowed to belong to the places we live. houses and entire towns are shells meant to be as plain as possible for the next renter, buyer, or investor. the more generic it is, the more consumers it can be sold to. And when you have a country that’s biggest population doesn’t have a distinct sense of cultural identity it will be reflected and mass produced without much complaint

people getting joy from the minimalist gray aesthetic is not the same as the estrangement this country is making between people and place, one of the most fundamental relationships humans need to survive (and be happy while doing it)

Films depict middle ages as devoid of color but it's the other way around.

When I was buying my house, people were telling me not to paint it this or that color because it would be harder to sell later. Like, I haven't even bough the house and you're already telling me to sell it! I'm buying a house because I need a place to live! I want to live here until I die or manage to move to Europe! We are not supposed to actually own anything anymore. Not our houses or cars or furniture. We are supposed to be perpetually replacing these things, paying more each time around, until we break and die and our bones are the color of the walls around us.

breaking: third most toxic trio in the universe spotted at Auckland's Winter Armageddon Expo

(me as alecto, my gf as harrow and our friend as gideon :D)

mutuals do this

1. Futurama

2. The Good Place

3. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I’d need to go back and watch it again, but in the future I’d like to be able to say Bojack Horseman.

NO.

this is about the IARC not the FDA. the IARC (international agency for research on cancer) is part of the WHO (world health organization) and not a food safety agency. they classify "agents" (chemical, physical, or biological entities or exposure circumstances) based on how likely they are to cause cancer:

Group 1: Carcinogenic to humans (126 agents)

Group 2A: Probably carcinogenic to humans (94 agents)

Group 2B: Possibly carcinogenic to humans (322 agents)

Group 3: Not classifiable as to its carcinogenicity to humans

this new classification of aspartame as 2B "possibly carcinogenic to humans" is the result of a review of available studies, and mostly intended to encourage additional research. it is not aimed at consumers/the public and it does not take dosage or frequency into account.

for context: apart from aspartame, group 2B includes things like "aloe vera, whole leaf extract", "carpentry", "magnetic fields", and "traditional asian pickled vegetables"

"occupation as a hairdresser or barber", "very hot beverages at above 65°C" (149°F), and "consumption of red meat" are all classified as 2A

and Group 1 includes "alcoholic beverages", "epstein-barr virus", "salted fish", "processed meat", and being a painter.

anyway. this is fearmongering and disinformation. stop using memes for news and dont reblog "news" posts without sources.

original reuters report:

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/whos-cancer-research-agency-say-aspartame-sweetener-possible-carcinogen-sources-2023-06-29/

where is that net zero information quote

"stop using memes for news and dont reblog "news" posts without sources"

immediately two people using a meme to make a joke about "net zero information" as if counteracting fearmongering misinfo is a net zero this is FAR more information than the original post gave Y'ALL PLEASE

They are studying us in petri dishes

Art by u/reachling

…‿ℒℴνℯ⁀❣🌹

dying.

Every single one of us who survived abuse knows EXACTLY what happened, here.

Child Protective Services should have opened an investigation in December, to protect this child from his abusers, and they should open one, now.

And remember this: every. single. accusation. is. a. confession.

Another reminder that if your system of morality is based solely upon what’s legal and illegal, you have no moral system.

In an ideal society laws exist to protect people and make life easier. We do not live in an ideal society.

A few weeks ago Cool People Who Do Cool Stuff covered the break in and everything that went into it

funny orange that ol rascal

Noooo don't get a tattoo it's so permanent blah blah blah my tattoo is whatever I want it to be and today it's an octopus

JL8 #270, Chapter Five, pg. 1 by Yale Stewart

Based on characters in DC Comics.

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                                     Petition to the House of Commons  Whereas:  

       We, the undersigned,

residents of Canada

, call upon the

House of Commons

to extend to transgender and nonbinary people the right to claim asylum in Canada by reason of eliminationist laws in their home countries, whatever country that may be.