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Realise Nothing

@realisenothing / realisenothing.tumblr.com

We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas

"look granny, I can blink!"

These kids sitting opposite me on the train are fucking losers

i need someone to make the will smith rapping over the end credits for Oppenheimer

I understand that the joke is several years old and I don't care. Make it happen

They say Americans are like plums and Brits are like coconuts

Personally I feel more like a cactus, spiky with a core of hallucinogenic juice

Found this in the squat rack... Using it as a talisman

living under an air corridor. Everybody wants to land at my place

"Quit smoking in three weeks, or your money back!"

Wow, what a deal, I get my money back and I get to keep smoking!

it's really the second can of diet coke that means I have to stand up to watch a film

Top scientists from the Coca Cola University of Beverage Excellence discover aspartame to be "totally non-carcinogenic" and "delicious"