# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB

This is it. The video that made memes illegal in Russia. Reblog it every day to piss Sadimir Putin off.

guys this is part of history now. legislative and cultural history. there will be law students and cultural anthropologists alike debating this video and it’s aftereffects in the future and that is fucking wild

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

Looks like October is nearly Octover

berry skirt

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat

You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions

Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse. He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of. But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.

He seduced his way out, naturally.

A true bard

@shinseigaming I know you won’t play with bards but this made me cackle like a seagull

been a while since ive drawn any davekat

Do you ever see an art style so rad that it just blows your nipples clean off and you have to follow the artist immediately? Well, I encountered one such artist, and just went on a forty-five minute Google hunt to track them down because my initial introduction to their work turned out to be a repost.

I reported the repost (and a few others I found along the way), did all that Pinterest dodging to find their actual blog, dug through the blog to find the particular piece I’d originally liked so I could have a guilt-free reblogging experience, and you know what???

The really nice Gravity Falls piece I liked was an isolated incident and the rest of their work is Gorillaz inflation porn. I’m so mad.

has this been done yet?

a good good fashion girl

Gentle reminder that there is nothing wrong with talking to and wishing on stars. 

They are kind. They are millions of years old and will gladly sit and listen to your every word. Even after they are gone they will still remain for centuries more, watching over you as your guiding light. The stars are your friend, your confidants. Talk to them, they will listen. 

Please don’t downplay or ignore the antisemitism on display in Charlottesville.

They are wearing swastikas, chanting, “Jews will not replace us,” talking about how “Killing Jews” is a Republican value, and saying, “Next Stop Auschwitz.” But other than other Jews, not as many people talking about the virulent antisemitism going on in Charlottesville. 

As a matter of safety and survival: DO NOT make light of the antisemitism on display in Charlottesville.

Jews, along with Black people, are primary targets of white nationalist hate groups and have been so from the beginning. The KKK would and did lynch Jews. And we know what the Nazis have done and want to do again.

Minimum wage: $7.25

$7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290

$290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160

In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven? 

Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways.

Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean;

That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88.  Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2  = $839. 

Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH.

But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work. 

Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money.

Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying.

You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America. 

And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month. 

Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line?

Omg lol.

BWAHAHAHA

THEY SAID DONT LAUGH

Me after using duolingo for a month

When Ron, frustrated with studying for NEWTs and with Hermione’s anxious sixth-year nagging, explains to her what reading is like for him, Hermione’s breath catches. “Ron, you’re dyslexic,” she says, softly, and instantly regrets every snide comment she’s ever made towards his study habits. 

Soon, by asking around, Hermione amasses a list of spells for Ron to try - some stilling the page, some changing the font of books for easy reading, some going after Ron’s temporal lobe directly. 

These help, a little, but not as much as knowing there’s a word for why reading is so hard for him. That it’s normal, that he’s not stupid, and that Hermione suddenly helps instead of criticizes, looks for solutions rather than complains, praises instead of gloats. 

!!! Oh

#listen tho what if #muggles are terrible about disabilities#but wizards are even worse#they don’t even have the terminology that muggles do#it’s all ‘kinda loony’ or “just dim’ or (most often) ‘not a talented witch/wizard’#and ofc ~everyone knows~ that all illnesses can be cured with magic#(except for some magical illnesses that can’t be cured at all)#but as ron talks more with hermione and other muggleborns#and researches the spells hermione gets him#and realizes that most of the spell creators probably also had dyslexia but had no word for it#he realizes that what ‘everyone knows’ isn’t true at all#after abt a year of this he talks to mcgonagall abt changing his career goals#goes into healing with a concentration on research#and a secret concentration on finding out what muggles know and bringing it into the wizarding world#(his dad is so proud of him and prolly helps out a lot too)

this paragraph is better than anything jk ever wrote about grown ron

my 4yo sister is 100% the best ally bc she just calls me “The Wizard” and she Will Not Let Anyone use my birthname. if anyone says it within her range of hearing she just looks at them and repeats “wizard? Wizard? WIZARD? WIZARD?” until they just give in and say it bc who the fuck is gonna argue with a 4yo.

I need this kid in my life