thinking about gillion and emotion again. you'd think, an anxious, quiet little boy being raised as strictly and heartlessly as he was, with the weight of the world on his shoulders from such a young age would result in him becoming the stoic hero type. and gillion is capable of being as much, yes- but as a defense mechanism, not a natural state of being.
gillion tidestrider is a man that feels things very deeply. most experiences for him are brand new, things that most people experience in their childhoods- and thus, he is incredibly reactive to the world around him. he loves his friends with everything he has, from the moment he first meets them, because he's never had friends before, or the opportunity to make any. when it feels like he's been betrayed, his anger is overwhelming, because he's never felt that way before. his emotions are as loud and passionate as he is, and his natural charisma comes from the way he allows himself to express his emotion- he's so earnest in everything he does, it's hard NOT to like him.
the only time this drops, when he fully gives into the stoicism the elders likely wanted him to have, is when faced with an authority figure that he really, truly is afraid of. vice admiral jayson ferin is a man that exudes power. a man that could easily kill him if he wanted to. he doesn't let himself shut down fully, though, if only because jay and chip were in danger. that desire to protect overrides everything else. but ellie teach- ollie's mom- she also got that out of him, after slapping him and chip for keeping ollie for so long. and gillion shut down completely. he went quiet, gazed off into nothing until he knew she wasn't around- and still seemed shaken up after the fact. afterwards, whenever he saw someone that even looked like her (in a nightmare or not) he apologized profusely and ran off before the other could react.
it really says something about how the elders treated him, I think.
