Unbetitelt

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

The Supervillain Wrangler definitely needs to be on this list.

"This is my weird son. He can't climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong."

Your daily dose of cat memes

J'onn, in the middle of a League meeting: Batman I beg of you, go to a doctor

Bruce: Oh I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound???

Clark: Bruce, we've talked about this. There is no I in fatally wounded, get your ass to the medbay

Bruce, looking up his kids's criminal records- Jason, why did you get fined for 'insulting a police officer'?

Jason, angrily slamming his hands down on the table- For the last time, I wasn't 'insulting an officer', I was 'greeting my brother'!

Dick, grinning widely- I have never loved my name more

am i insane or should masks be mandated for hospitals as a permanent installation. a forever institution. always. covid is an irrelevant factor when hospitals are always full of both very sick and very immunocompromised people..?

Beware of those wearing anime shirts, because they stopped caring what others think of them a long time ago.

OH FFS 🤦‍♀️

FRIENDS, ROMANS, BESTIES: If they were at the stage of filling out jury questionnaires, that means the people involved were most likely only potential jurors, being polled to see if they were qualified to serve on the actual jury. So sure, maybe it seemed like a ballsy move to stand up and condemn the system, but odds are that trial is still going full speed ahead, anyway—except now it’s a dead cert that anime guy absolutely won’t be selected for its jury, because announcing your lack of impartiality to the court tends to get you automatically dismissed.

And, y’know, not to rain on anybody’s feel good parade, but if you want to effect real change for the people targeted by an unjust legal system, the best thing you can do is tuck away your freaking soap box, shut the hell up, get yourself on an actual goddamn jury, and then NULLIFY. THAT. SHIT. Seriously. I’m sure (if this really happened) that a bit of performative grandstanding in front of the judge gave anime guy a nice dopamine hit, but it’s ultimately an empty gesture. If you want to actually influence trial outcomes in a situation like this, then your priority should always be getting selected with an eye towards jury nullification. You help nobody by giving up your possible spot on a jury to some milquetoast white lady who “isn’t that political.”

I'm unsure the power one juror would actually have

If they're able to sway the others, you're absolutely correct, but if they're not? Then you've got a hung jury

In the US that means a mistrial and the whole thing happens again, in the UK the judge would probably rule to accept a majority verdict. Either way, the outcome's the same (the people deciding are all the milquetoast white people who "aren't that political"), but the objections are sealed within the jury room rather than aired before the lawyers and judge to be entered into the record

I don't know what I'd do in this situation, but I don't think it's quite as clear cut as either side of this debate makes out

So a few things:

So yeah, I would still argue that actually being on a jury is a thousand times more useful in the fight against wrongful prosecution than getting yourself immediately dismissed by soap-boxing during jury selection. We need more justice-minded people to be jurors (and/or magistrates)!

Adding these tags from @takiki16​ who happens to be a public defender!

#are ya KIDDIN me we celebrate hangs back at the office like the victories they are#a hung jury is a WIN. a hung jury means that the DA FAILED. it is a BIG BLARING SIGN to the DA#that hey...you SHOT YOUR SHOT....AND YOU MISSED.#think twice if you REEEEEALLLY want to try again!#if you reeeeeeally with all of our overwhelming caseloads want to spend your attorney's time and your office's budget#on RE-TRYING this case that wasn't good enough the first time around#and YEAH. YEAH. a potential juror walks in and starts giving Progressive Politics Seminars (TM) and i inwardly groan#bc that is the first juror that the DA is going to kick out of the pool - bye bye helpful progressive!#all the blue lives matter assholes somehow manage to keep their mouths shut and parrot 'i can be fair'#long enough to get a seat on the jury and convict our clients#WE DON'T WANT THE GOOD ONES TO SPEAK UP. WE WANT THE BAD ONES TO SPEAK UP#it isn't jury SELECTION it's jury DE-SELECTION

Play your cards right and get on those juries, kids!

I just served jury duty and let me tell you... on cases involving over-zealous policing and cop violence, they ask all -kinds- of questions to basically sift out anyone who doesn’t think cops are infallible. I watched it happen.  Answer questions truthfully, but by god, jury selection is not the time to get on your soap box. Save it for deliberation. That’s when you make a difference.

@0hheytherebigbadwolf​ omfg

DO YOU WONDER HOW FUCKING TERRIFYING THAT MUST HAVE BEEN???? THEY END HIS LIFE THINKING “thank GOD he’s gone, we can live our lives in peace” BUT HE POPS UP UNSCATHED AND DISGRUNTLED ABOUT IT AND THERE’S UNGODLY SCREECHES COMING FROM THE POOR SORCERER.

sorcerer: “THE FUCK YOU DIED????”

merlin, on interaction #1,289: “yeah, yeah, i get that a lot. did it have to be poison tho? that tactic is getting old.”

sorcerer who is counting their seconds and taking in every last moment like it’ll be their last (bc it will): “what the fuck, what the fuck, whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefu--”

once again they high tail it outta there because why would anyone stay and attempt to kill the king when there’s an immortal god at his right hand.

Also a suggestion, instead of snobby disdain or embittered fury, there is a third reaction of absolute terror.

*nervous* "Who taught you to summon lightning before basic elemental compositions?"

*sweating* "What do you mean you 'just did it'?"

*violently shaking* "What do you mean you cast it with your BARE HANDS?"

#eldritch nightmare merlin superiority#personal hc that certain kinds of magic effects are made by combining other kinds of magic together#lightning is made by combining the elements of air and fire which sounds simple in writing#but in practice it's like trying to create Ye Olde H-Bomb#side effects include spontaneous combustion; 3rd degree burns; explosive removal of limbs#and here comes this country ass twink just yeeting lightning like a frisbee at THEE high priestess nimueh and one-hit ko'ing her#yeah that's terrifying ( @0hheytherebigbadwolf​ )

merlin being an eldritch nightmare is cORRECT

he has sorcerers shaking in their boots and quietly mouthing prayers because how is this man even human??? no, no, he can’t be human....what tf is he???

au where balinor didn’t die and offers to help merlin with learning new spells but it soon becomes lessons where merlin just casts high level spells without a thought and balinor continues to grow terrified

Literally the only person 110% chill with this is Hunith. You say eldritch terror, she says her sweet little bird.

Merlin: So, since living things want to stay alive and being alive is the natural state of all things that can achieve it, anything that has been alive before should have an innate desire to do so again, so necromancy should logically be the easiest and most natural kind of magic.

Merlin: Anyhoo, Mum, Dad, this is my girlfriend Freya and my good buddy Lancelot.

Hunith: Hello, dears, would you like some lunch?

Balinor:

#bbc merlin#look#balinor only *marginally* signed up for this#he saw merlin do one (1) bit of simple magic and was like ''ah you have your father's gifts :)''#he was NOT expecting his kid to be able to REWORK THE FABRIC OF REALITY just for shits and giggles#hunith is objectively the coolest woman in albion and is happy her lil baby got friends

listen, you cannot just put these in the tags and expect me not to bring it up like

there are two ways i see hunith being so chill about this

hunith truly is a real one. only respect for merlin's mother hunith <3

#hunith is traveling with a sorcerer who is very much NOT The Emrys#they pass through a large farming town (idk how shit works) that's going through a drought and hunith turns to her traveling companion and#asks 'would you be a dear and summon a rainstorm; to help them out at least a little?'#and the sorcerer turns to her and goes 'why the fuck did you just ask me that like it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do'#'well my son does it all the time'#'YOUR SON IS MERLIN FUKCING EMRYS' ( @the-book-reaper )

things hunith had asked common magic users to do that are actually feats of ungodly power and require years of study:

the amount of stress and terrified confusion she unknowingly gave sorcerers just by asking is the funniest thing. i mean, how would hunith know any better??? she's been raising her child and sure she knew he was stronger than average but it never registered that he was pretty fucking strong

I will forever be upset that he didn't go crazy on occasion. Like I know, the CGI wasn't the best, and probably hard to do but I'd rather see Merlin doing wildly impossible stuff than a giant baby rat?? Why didn't he and Morgana have an epic magic battle??? Like he STOPPED TIME in the FIRST episode and just forgot how?? It seems like once he began learning spells, he stopped doing the natural stuff which is kinda sad, because that would've better shown him being "the most powerful ever" :/

"Did he just perform boss level magic while literally unconscious and basically DYING?!?!?!"

Merlin, who does this every other day but doesn't know he's basically god:

I adore his batshit crazy natural magic too and I can understand the budgetary/technical restrictions, but also, it isn't even necessary to show him as being freakishly powerful. Emrys is the embodiment of magic. Magic is part of the fabric of nature. Therefore Merlin is also connected to nature. Like, let Merlin walk up and have a conversation with a tree when they're looking for someone. Court gossip has nothing on the root-to-root communication of a living forest. Let him ask an animal for directions, or politely ask the dogs not to bark when he's sneaking out of the castle. It could seem like a "normal" bit of magic until he (we) meets another sorcerer and it's shown that no. No, that is not normal.

Have Merlin be escorting a little family of Druids to the border of Camelot to avoid patrols.

Druid: I think we're lost...

Merlin: Oh, that's alright, I'll ask for directions.

Druid: You'll wh-

Merlin: *crouches down and lightly knocks on the top of a burrow* Excuse me? Could you please tell me which way the river is from here?

*muffled animal noises from inside*/*clip of an animal*

Merlin: Thank you.

Merlin: *stands up* See, no problem, we're right on track.

Druid, hasn't heard of a genuine beast-talker since their grandparents' day: ...Yep, no problem at all, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Once again thinking about that fic where Merlin is like ‘meh, I can take care of myself’ and Arthur is like ‘lol I will eat my sword he day it happen’ but BUT instead of thinking ‘omfg you are so fucking strong you fucking liar’ Arthur is like ‘well, I don’t know a lot about magic so I guess it’s normal ???’ Which is 100% reinforced by Hunith & Lancelot being chill about it.

Meanwhile Morgana, Mordred, Gaius, Balinor and every other sorcerer are like ‘ DON’T YOU DARE BELIEVE THEM THIS IS NOT NORMAL’

Arthur : come on, he is MAYBE a bit above average but it’s MERlin

Merlin, who decided to reintroduce Magical species that went nearly or totally extinct during the purge : and one blue dragon one

The ghost of the first Dragonlords who had to make a deal with the Triple Godness to bring back his brother and creating the first Dragon :

The Triple Godness : maybe a made him a tiny bit too OP.

A BIT???? YA DONT SAY MADAM 😂😂😂

omfg I wonder what her thought process was as she witnessed Merlin and his magic progress

TG: awwww what a cute baby levitating the table 😍 he will bring us great things

TG: oh. he can change the weather. did….did I do that

TG: he’s…he’s capable of stopping time….

TG: he’s….he’s fighting destiny now….i’m proud????

TG: fuck T^T

Look, this is probably going to end up as an unpopular post, because God knows the level of brainrot capitalism and fast consumption caused in people's brains, but I'd rather not get TV shows for a while if it means writers get their rights defended and recognized.

Entertainment can't come at the cost of fair pay, healthy work environment and ethical practices.

Damian Wayne 100% has pet chickens

Does anybody else get legitimately worried when a fanfic author who was updating regularly just suddenly disappears with no warning? Like, is it a serious case of writers block or are they in a coma? Did they just up and quit? Was it me? Were my reviews not good enough?! Did they die 😳?! Were they kidnapped? Do I need to file a missing persons report? Excuse me officer, there’s been 13 weekly updates and now nothing for months! Find them! What’s their name?! Name!? I don’t know their name but they write 3k+ chapters and I need them safe and back in my life!

Sir, that’s my emotional support fanfic author.

Officer: i’m sorry, but you can’t file this person missing.

Me: you don’t have all the facts.

Officer: which are?

Me: i love them.

So, painful story, but I’ve really needed to tell it for a while.

My best friend, the woman I loved for 13 years, was a fic writer in the middle of an especially long piece. She updated on a schedule and had for years. She had a small, but loyal following.

And then she died out of nowhere. One day we were laughing, the next she was in a coma, 3 days later she was dead. She hadn’t been ill and to this day we don’t know what took her. She was just gone.

I knew she had friends all over the world so I went into her email to see if I could find addresses and notify people after a week of blind grief. In her inbox were about a dozen concerned messages from her readers. I cried. I cried and cried and I responded to all of them, telling people she had passed.

And the messages kept coming. Those people spread the word and message after message came in, most of them addressed to me now, as I had given those original readers my contact info. There were words of comfort and grief and just every emotion imaginable in that scenario. I wrote back to them all, thanking them and comforting them.

For months after she died, during the worst of my grief, I had those messages. I had those people. And they had me. I really think I might not have made it to the other side without them.

So, the fact that you care? That you think of them? That these authors who became a presence in your world are missed when they aren’t there? It means something very real. On the off chance that the author did die? Anyone who has seen this post will find comfort during the loss of their friend or family member, knowing that you all exist. That they aren’t alone. That you CARE that the world now lacks their loved one.

So, yeah. I’ve seen this post and ones like it for years and wanted to share this story. I finally could today.

Thank you, every person who reblogged this post. People like you are the biggest reason I’m alive today.

There’s a lot of excellent examples of the difference between a million and a billion, but here’s my new personal favorite from a conversation I had today:

A million minutes ago was April 2021, the height of the COVID pandemic.

A billion minutes ago was November 121 CE, the height of the Roman Empire.

This.

I don’t know about others but the only reason I put both is so that whichever someone clicks on, they will find my fic. So if there is supposed to be rules, I guarantee you that no writer knows these ones. We can barely get people to comment, you think we’re going to specifically choose & or / ? Hell no.

I’ve been in fandom for twenty years, and “/” means romance and “&” means no romance was literally one of the first things I learned. It dates back to Star Trek fanfiction of the 70s. I’m boggled by the fact that anyone who’s been reading fic on AO3 for more than like five minutes wouldn’t know that, and I’m curious as to what fanfic community you come out of.

I don’t think that tagging with both is actually going to get your fic in front of more readers. People looking for romance often exclude the “&” tag if there are too many gen fics tagged with both. People looking for gen often exclude the “/” tag if there are too many fics with both. So rather than putting your fic in front of twice the people, you are in fact more likely to get your target audience ignoring your fic because it has a tag they don’t want.

Also, by overtagging you are more likely to annoy potential readers away from your fic than entice them. A fic tagged both & and / better have both romance and a ton of platonic interaction between the two characters, like a slow burn romance friends-to-lovers arc. If it isn’t, I’m going to be very unhappy because the author lied to me with the tags to try and trick me into reading a fic with deceptive advertising.

When I’m in a fandom and see tagging where some of the tags don’t really apply and are just there to get it in front of more eyes, I’m going to assume one of two things. Either the author is a newb who doesn’t know anything, or the author is purposefully spamming the tags because they don’t care about lying to their potential audience and think that “spray and pray” is an effective tactic. In the first case, their writing probably will not be very good, so why bother reading their fic. In the second case, the fact that I can’t trust the tags to be accurate means I’m not going to read it to see if it’s interesting even if it has a tag I like. Chances are, that tag isn’t actually in the fic anyway, and even if it is, by spam-tagging the author is making the archive harder to use for everybody. Why would I reward bad behavior with attention? No. Far better to mute the author and move on.

More to the point--and no, I will never stop harping on this, because we have GOT to stop leaving our strongest points in the drawer--it doesn't matter if you heard of this convention before joining AO3 or not, because it's in AO3's tagging FAQ.

[id: the "How do I tag a romantic or platonic relationship?" section of the tagging FAQ here.]

"But Jo," you may argue, because you're wrong. "There's no way to find that without digging through site FAQ menus, and that's really inaccessible!"

sure

except

that when you go to post a new fic, and you go to put in those relationship tags, you see this

[id: the Relationships field]

and that tooltip, the one THERE TO EXPLAIN HOW THE FIELD WORKS, links to the Relationships segment of the tag FAQ, which explicitly lays this shit out.

I don't care if you don't know fandom history. I don't care if you've never heard a goddamn word about the spirk shippers. I don't care if you've never been exposed to fandom culture in your life. It is, frankly, not fair to expect those things of everyone.

What is entirely fair to expect is that you will READ THE INSTRUCTIONS PRINTED NEXT TO THE FUCKING BOX, actually. Forget fandom conventions. It genuinely doesn't matter whether you agree with or respect fandom conventions. This is a site policy. This is explicitly how tagging on AO3, specifically, works.

More of Damian being violently affectionate

Damian: I WILL STAB YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU DON'T REST! YOU HEAR ME!? I WILL TAKE OUT YOUR EYE!!

Tim: Thanks Dami, let me finish this zoom call and I'll go to bed

Conner: Why hasn't he stopped trying to kill you yet? I thought you said he was better

Tim: He is. This is just how he shows affection

Damian: *throws a knife that Tim dodges*

Bart: My guy, your life is endanger

Tim: And yet, I've never felt more loved

One day, Clark is bored at work so he messages Bruce saying as much, hoping they could talk for a bit to help pass the time.

What he did not expect was for Bruce to tweet 'ostriches arn't real'.

The office becomes alive with activity. Perry marches over and tells Clark to write an article about how one of the richest men in the world does not believe a bird exists.

The interview?

Clark Kent: "Would you care to elaborate on what you meant about not believing ostriches exist?"

Bruce Wayne: "No."

Others then ask Bruce what his thoughts on other birds are. Penguins? Real. Flamingos? Not real. Pigeons? Some are, some arn't. It depends.

On the upside Clark's afternoon became a whole lot less boring. On the downside there is now a Twitter account called 'BirdsBruceWThinksArntReal'.

“robins?” clark asks as the last question.  “robins aren’t birds.” 

you've got to respect Bruce's willingness to make himself look like an idiot for his loved ones' entretainment though