so i have two little cousins one is 10 and the other is 7 and my aunt told them they could each say one cuss word and not get in trouble so the older one very politely says “damn” but the younger one stands up on the kitchen table, rips his shirt off and screams “FUUUUUUCCCKKKK” while dive bombing to the floor and my aunt just stood there and stared at him because she couldn’t get mad at him

puff, puff, pass

Jurassic Park - Set in South America

Chris Pratt - Tanning make up for justifying his presence in South America for a fucking long time

PRoducing team - Doing their fucking job right

Tumblr stupid kids - THAT’S RACISM!!! OMG THAT’S SO RACISM, TANNING IS RACISM, THAT’S RACISM. RACIST!! I HATE CHRIS PRATT NOW

Remember when you were ignorant and didn’t really know shit about feminism, racism, sexism, transgender issues, gay issues, etc? Remember all the offensive and inaccurate shit you used to say without even knowing you were being offensive? Remember the times you weren’t attacked for being ignorant but instead someone kindly educated you on these matters?

Yea, pass that on.

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

why did everyone play the recorder in fourth grade what were they training us for

this is literally perplexing, apparently learning to play the recorder in elementary school is an international thing, like what the fuck. when is knowing how to play “hot cross buns” going to be useful? is it some kind of password? what’s the deal

I remember doing eXACTLY THIS WHEN I SAW THIS EPISODE

lmao

Lmfao nigga

😭😭😂😂💀

Bruhhhhh! lmmffo

Mood:

*white kid from 90’s tv show on bed throwing baseball up in the air and catching it while staring at ceiling*

Answer: The third, the lions already starved to death

Answer: The poison was in the ice

Answer: She shot her husband with a camera and then developed the picture

Answer: There is no mail on Sundays

mind fucked me#highat10:07

ive been annoyed ever since i was born

Story time

Buckle up ya’ll I’m gonna tell the story of how when I was ten years old I was a member of a secret chemistry society that used our lunch time to boom stuff up on the lab.

So when I made ten years old I asked for a chemistry kit (as the fucking nerd I was) as my birthday gift. Instead of playing on the playground on the school lunch time (because someone tried to choke me on the swings line before throwing me head first on the ground -but that is a story for another time-), I took my chemistry kit to the Dark Stairwell (there were two stairwells on my school, the main one, right on the middle of the building, that everybody used and the Dark Stairwell that has that name because there were no lights on it, obvs and because what happens on the Dark Staiwell stays on the Dark stairwell… People used to go there and snog, gossip, carve the bricks -yes, carve the bricks- or plan murders and stuff like that, hence “dark”).

The Dark Stairwell was adjacent to the school’s Chemistry Lab. As ten years olds, my class was not allowed to enter the lab. We only start chemistry classes when we are 12/13.

But there was this lady… we used to call her the “Lab lady”. She was very sweet and kind and she saw me on the dark stairs, playing with my kit and we started talking and we got inside the lab. I showed her my chemistry kit and she showed me some cool simple experiments (changing the colour of some solutions and stuff)

From that day forward I always spent my lunch time on the lab with her. But the curious thing was that some of the other kids noticed that and since we weren’t allowed on the lab, the place was like the Wardrobe for Narnia. They started to come and stay there too.

By the middle of the month we were at least fifteen 10-year-olds making experiments with the Lab Lady. Every day was a new one. It was AMAZING. The Lab Lady was like our mom, she never lost patience when we couldn’t do the things and she used to call us “her little geniuses”. When we started, she helped us up our seats (because they were too tall for us) and by the end of our experiments time, she helped us clean our hands (because we were too small to reach the lab sink) and we bombarded her with curious science questions that she answered patiently and in a funny way.

But then again, we were children. What do children want with chemistry? Explosions, of course! Chaos! We were tiny little satans So the Lab Lady used to tease us that by the end of the month she would blow something up for us.

DUDE, WE WERE FREAKED. When the end of the month arrived (also the end of the semester, the day before the school break) we ran to the lab and the Lab Lady gave us some cool protective glasses and she messed our hairs and she said “Now ya’ll look like mad little scientists” and she told us to keep our distance and she literally blew something up. Of course, it wasn’t a big explosion, It was a small safe reaction, more lights than boom but we were jumping around asking her to do it again and how that was magical and stuff. She then proceeded to change the colour of the flames several times and we were in awe.

The Lab Lady was like our Gandalf and we were her excited little hobbits. And we went on to our break already wanting to go back to do more “booms and stuff”

However, when our break was over and we were back to school, the lab was closed, the lights were off. Everything was dark just like the Dark Stairwell. And our Gandalf was gone.

Everyday we went there and waited for her to show up and explode something else but she didn’t.

By the end of the week, on the last class of the day, there was a knock on the door.

The messiah Lab Lady was back! But… She gathered her 15 followers on the corner and told us that she was leaving the school and she just came to say goodbye to her little hobbits.

It was a mess. There were 15 kids crying and fighting over who gets to sit on her lap and hug her next. And our portuguese teacher was just watching us like “????” 

A couple years later, when we had our first chemistry class on the lab, the remaining hobbits of the 15, gathered and did the same small explosion when the teacher had us making experiments on our own.

I believe that that was our own way of saying “O captain, my captain.”

Hail, the Lab Lady. You will never be forgotten. Your little hobbits planted the acorn on the Shire.

This is the best thing I have read or will ever read. All Hail The Lab Lady

If you scrolled past this I highly suggest you scroll back up and read this because it will change your life

Boom stuff up is now my favourite phrase

This is probably my favorite post, especially since it says “boom stuff up”

why is this an image that exists