did i post it here? dont think i did

Secret Life Scar sketch that i dont feel like finishing

Fine! I'll let my voices win. Incorporating ear wings into my Grian design

Forgets I have to show off my characters for people to actually know they exist

Anyways throwing doodles at you all

computer i don't know how much more i can explain to you that i would rather let a blue ringed octopus handle my appendectomy then ever touch the horrific unending nightmare that Microsoft "Shit Idiot" Copilot ai would surely be

my brain contains multitudes of the english language that i am unfortunately incapable of escaping. watch this i'll put some words together right now. Egg Lobotomy. did you see that shit i'm linguistic as fuck

Been Watching Weird Fruit Explorer(?)... and I just...

W-Who let Bored Danny have BooTube?

Sorry, YOU-Tube. He has TWO Apps now. BooTube is bigger. Way more random, yet... somehow more niche? Meh. It's what happens when you get billions of billions of people who all have their own Obsessions to rant over, on a site.

Ember's channel is pretty lit, tho, ngl.

He stopped using YOU-Tube almost overnight. Too many ads, weird algorithmic pushiness. No thanks. It was too small and too "trying to take my money". You know?

Buuuuut? See.... TUCKER is the Tech guy.

Coding and that sort of stuff. HE does hands on work. You want a toaster? He can MAKE you a toaster! With LAZERS! Runs off The Goo! But a program? Eeeeeeeh? Hit it with hammer maybe? Monkey make fire? Hit with stick? Blergh.

Yeah, he can SORTA push through.

But he suuuucks.

And like... he had a headache, okay? His project had just, quiet literally, exploded in his face. So when he looked at his phone? All the apps were blobs. He clicked the one that LOOKED kinda right. Shoved his arm in his phone and brute forced a channel set up.

He figured he could ramble about Space!

It's not like he cared is anyone LISTENS or not! It's a "for him" thing, you know? Like a diary. But more... putting on a ☆~show~☆?

So he rambles from the floor of his Lair's Lab, crashs and wails in the distance, green sky occasionally visible as he lazily floats by windows. Dropping... juuuust past human knowledge understanding of Space. Talking like he's STUDYING somewhere. Referencing PAPERS no human will ever be able to find.

But a few they WILL.

Some of which, are currently? Only half written.

But then? Oh YEAH... he should eat! You know... Sam keeps bringing him fruits and veggies and stuff from her internship at that Botanical Lair. Stuff never seen before of Earth. Or hasn't been seen in centuries.

Again, like, a FEW that? Randomly? Have???

He picks up something sharply purple, bright orange insides. Crisp crunch. He makes a face. And starts to ramble about it, distracted from Space. "Weirdly mushroom-y" he notes. "Kinda bubblegum sweet? But like... CHEAP bubblegum. Like it hits you all at once and is kinda chemically. But it disappears real fast? Huh. Spicy too..."

It's the first video on the Playlist. One of hundreds. Two of the green Lanterns RECONIZE that fruit ad HIGHLY toxic to humans, can't recognize what planet they're seeing. Or how this alien teen got himself on YouTube.

He seems... unaware of how incredibly famous he's become.

But his strange techno Pharoah friend has not. HE is both perfectly aware and apparently amused. Has taken to feeding him rare and hazardous flora and fauna, to see if it tastes good.

....there have been an alarming number of plants from dead planets.

And the comments the kid makes? Alarming as hell.

Sam's just pleased everybody's getting their greens. Danny's glad him n tuck get to hang and do "try weird foods and fuck around, bro time". They've made lazers! Talked about stuff! Debated why Martian Manhunter is THE superior Justice League member.

Danny understands. Wonder Woman is a BAMF. But he's biased, Tucker. He doesn't CARE if she has a sword and flowy, impressive locks! Shape-shifting telepath! From MARS!!! *imaginary mic drop*

And Tucker? Is conquering the YouTube scene with this charming, weird, relatable young alien. Who rambles about Space, debates nerd stuff, eats weird plants and describes them, and makes sci-fi technology! Theme? WHAT THEME? Phantom is a weird channel, man. You never know what you'll find!

And no one can get rid of it.

Believe them, governments have TRIED. Censorship? Not possible. Not without removing the whole SITE.

Danny just out here, living his best un-life. Giving heroes and governments headaches. How did he get a Kryptonian fruit? Was that from Oa?!? That.. That was Martian? How.. What? Did he just discuss science we haven't released to the general public of Earth? How does he know space travel tech so well?!? Where does the alien teen live?! How is he on Earth!! Why can we not find him!?!?!

Tucker! Is really enjoying the change to flex his skills. The Justice League have been failing to crack his system. The Justice League!! He thought they'd have found them by now! But no! He's just that good! *Breaks into egomaniacal laughter*

Man's got to have his hobbies~☆

WHO'S THE LOSER NOW, Superman5ever32!? *maniacal cackling*

*Danny sloooowly leans into frame*

......you.... you good, man? When was the last time you slept? You're falling back into bad habits again. We gotta talk? Do I gotta get the spritz bottle?

The world sees Danny tackle Tucker out of frame. And grapple him to the kitchen. Time for vegetable smoothie my guy. Clearly you need a *cleanse*. Tucker is visibly struggling with all his nerdy might.

Tucker: NO! I am a GOD!!

Danny: Yeahhh... Ima call Sam. We need to pop your ego before something bad happens buddy!

Tucker: Why! Why do you betray me this way!

Danny: BFF's my guy. Can't let the power get to you again. You KNOW what happened last time!

Well now, that's concerning. They need to find them even faster. Clearly the alien teen is the only thing between his friend and chaos. And the Justice League know how unreliable THAT can be.

God I love that dynamic? This super petty Techno GOD of a Pharoah... who's apparently decided not to conquer Earth. No, no, JUUUUST YouTube.

Legally.

Well, SEMI-Legally.

All while being Unhinged and talking like a "Rue The DAY!" Type Supervillian of old. Ornate, crazy people with red string taking half the room type plans. Sweet talking his girlfriend who is apparently an ever revolving string of PDAs with old lady names. Killer eye liner.

Legitimately, terrifyingly, capable of destroying Assholes and Doxxers. Do not feed the trolls? You FOOL! HE is the carnivore here! HE feeds UPON the trolls!!! Bwahahahaha!

He has a patreon.

People LOVE this unhinged nightmare man. He needs unlimited therapy FOREVER. Sells cute plushies n tee-shirts. Posts RANTING videos on 1) technology. And 2) everything to do with exactly ONE(1) lesser known Egyptian Pharoah's rule.

Dude has some surprisingly strong opinions on the subject.

But? It's also? Kind of like getting to watch Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral brawl it out in a hamster cage. Fruit guy keeps pulling the "enforced self care via running tackle" from off screen. You can see him just? Minding his business...

Then Pharoah will say something SUS ™.

And he just...

Leeeeeans back into frame.

And squints at him.

Wham!

Cut to a loony tune style mash up of the guy wrangling this Sci-Fi, gold n silks, techno futurist Suave Villian turn YOWLING CAT of a full grown man? Off screen to: 1) go too bed. 2) eat a vegetable, ANY vegetable. 3) touch some fucking grass, you HEATHEN.

And more!

You couldn't script shit like this is you TRIED. It's ADHD the channel. Surreal, educational, there was a weenie dog uprising at one point. No, no, not the DOG breed. Like... hot dogs. The FOOD! Yes they're serious!

And that's not touching the random "Guest Speakers"! Fruit guy? Some times just let's? Rando's take his phone and record. There was a Blob. It looked like pudding with a face. Gave a VERY serious lecture, with scribbles on a note book, for presumably visual aids? Entirely in this chirpy lil uwu language no one could understand.

Except fruit guy.

He was FASCINATED.

Another was some sort of praying mantis monk. This REALLY impassioned shell playing giant otter who was trying out a "new sound" for his band. And a suit of armor explaining why some guy called Lobo "is a lil BITCH who still owes him 20 credits, no, killing me WONT GET YOU OUT OF IT YOU-".

It's amazing.

The comment section would be wild. Just the hottest mess. Are we sure they are ON Earth? Like, really? Actually on the planet. They haven't just managed to tap in via the satellites? I know we saw grass. But other planets have that too right? The channel spawns riscord servers. Clickers. Dumblr accounts. There is fan art! Shipping. It is a whole thing™. Danny is blissfully unaware. Tucker? He knows what he did. Especially with that Egyptian Pharoh inspired mini skirt/kilt number. The gold highlights. Getting Danny into a skintight pair of jeans, and a crop top. Tucker knows.

Hawkman and Hawkwoman? Are concerned™ Pharoh? Yeah... They are preeeety sure they know the guy he's talking about. If he is who they think he is? Well they are glad his friend seems capable of keeping him under control. That was, NOT a fun life time. At all. The Green Lanterns are impressed. Phantom is very knowledgeable about a lot of niche areas of intergalactic science. They really want to track him down. If they could get him on the watchtower? With their own scientists? Imagine what they could do!

If Danny is Chaotic Good and Tucker is Chaotic Neuteral then I suppose Sam is Chaotic Evil?

I can only imagine she pops up very occasionally maybe, but holds an entire video hostage about conservation, how to not fuck up the environment, and how to do stuff that probably falls into ecoterrorism. That and viewers get to see a REAL fight between Veggies and Meat.

Not long at all. Tucker is a furry and proud of it. He has outgrown his weak, nerdish youth. He is weird and proud, thank you! It doesn't help that Danny absolutely had them play 'smash or pass'. Hero and villain edition. Which obviously went wild. Danny? Didn't think it would be an issue. This was Bootube! No heroes are gonna see it! Except well, Tucker knew this wasn't Bootube. He coulda told Danny. But he didn't. And now the heroes have to live with the knowledge gained.

"Red Hood" "Smash" :)

While I love that, I raise you Danny saying 'pass' to any of the baseline humans. "It's not prejudice or anything. Buuutt.. I am kinda concerned I might, ya know, hurt a normal human if we... ya know. I mean, high emotion makes my powers go on the fritz, can you imagine how fucked up that would be man?"

The aliens in the justice league like martian manhunter and super fam will be very interesset in where the got fruit from their dead planet.

Supergirl can show j'onn a video of danny an co. Eat fruit from mars. j'onn could be like:" i have to find out where they are, so i can ask where they got that." Or just be confused about it or something.

Oh yes. They are so very confused. It's been months! Months! And they still can't find them! They aren't hurting anyone. But they are causing chaos. The scientific field is in raptures. NASA wants to hire Phantom. C'mon! Please! We want to hire the young alien with forbidden knowledge! Just one little alien employee!

Tucker? Having the time of his life. Encourages Sam to find the weirdest plants. Brings her over to talk about how to grow them properly. Even in different planets. Danny talking about the tech you need to emulate the correct conditions. Tucker talking about the coding needed to make sure it all runs correctly.

J'onn? Bullies Bruce into building him and Superman some green houses. He wants the fruit from his childhood. Orders seeds from Tucker's online store. Sam helped him get the seeds. She wants to get these plants back out there!

everyone should be weirder about their ocs more.

fake movie posters and comic book covers. visual novels. rpg maker games. fics. websites dedicated to your ocs. custom oc merch to wear or decorate your house with. surreal art that some old guy from the 1600s woulda painted. i want to see it ALL

what I'd give to see these two fighting together (canonically speaking)

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

He was the officiator

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

Oh my god they were moon mates.

[Id: a tweet by Colin Spacetwinks (\@spacetwinks)

video game hunger meter where once it runs out, instead of affecting your health, your dialog options now become increasingly incoherent or incredibly bitchy]

If your hunger goes low enough you gain the option to eat the person you're talking to

I'm gonna link to the animations in case y'all either don't remember or have never heard of some of these.

A quick note: these were made in the 2000s. Comedy is subjective, there's some strong examples of dark and/or "lolz teh random" humor in these. Maybe some cultural blindness, too. That said, enjoy a time capsule of stuff made before/during the birth of Youtube, now hosted on Youtube.

Kenya

Salad Fingers, episode 2

End of Ze World

Schfifty Five

The Hamster Dance

Badgers

"Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt

Charlie the Unicorn

The Llama Song

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Finished the moon version!!

I might make more of these goobs

i wish there wasn’t such a stigmatized view on platonically loving people.

I can’t call people nicknames and pet names like hun and honey without them immediately assuming i have romantic interest in them.

i can’t tell my friends i love them without adding on “platonically” or shortening the phrase “ily” “love you” “love u”

i love a lot of people. i love my sister, i love my boyfriend, and i love my best friend. All different versions of love.

let us love people openly and honestly without it being seen as “making a move” or being romantically interested.

please please please stop assuming that love is strictly romantic, i promise you life becomes so much brighter and bigger when you stop keeping love strictly romantic.

Yes geologists! Doing the important work 💖

Credit to: The Sedgwick Museum of Earth Sciences

cool flags cool flags cool flags!!! WITH ROCKS

enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

HELP

To this day, my favorite argument I ever had was with my Nascar-loving family about how a thin blue line flag on a Nascar is antithetical to the core tenets of Nascar. There is no organization more rooted in ACAB than Nascar. Literally, the only reason it exists was that a bunch of moonshining families had to build cars that could outrun the cops while on supply runs during the Prohibition Era. The goal was to make the car look like a regular vehicle so they could pick up supplies or drop off illegal alcohol without arousing suspicion. But if the cops were on you all you had to do was put the pedal to the metal and that little truck could outrun them with no problems. And of course, families would be in competition over who made the best alcohol, and whose car was fastest. So, they would have races on the weekends. When prohibition was lifted, the races continued. And that is why we have Nascar. It really frustrates me how people look at American car culture and scoff at it. Formula One racing is more exciting and more dynamic to watch, but the history of it is not as interesting: a bunch of rich assholes who made specialized cars for racing. And to this day, it is still a rich man's sport. Whereas Nascar was about a bunch of so-called hicks in the backwoods who used some basic hand tools and trial and error to make a junker into a racecar.

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.

im like a cat i drag the posts to ur doorstep and if ur not there it’s ok, the post will be on ur porch for later

Bothering the beast

I dunno maybe I’m way way off base and I’m gonna pay for it later in life but I just don’t think that letting my kid dip a few pretzel sticks in Nutella an hour before dinner should be considered morally unconscionable.

When I say my closer to three then two year old will eat anything I mean the only 2 things she refuses to eat are carrots and a peanutbutter. She eats soup, she eats all of her food touching, she eats salad and sushi and peas and chili and any form of potato available, and I think it’s because I just refuse to have food rules. She gets to have eggs and fruit snacks for breakfast if that’s what she asks for. We usually have baby charcuterie for lunch. We always have dessert. Sometimes we have dessert and then dinner. Sometimes we stop dinner in the middle of the meal for some cake and then we go back to dinner. It drives most people in our life insane. Even the most open and understanding people.

I spent so many years with such insane food rules and thinking certain foods were good and others were bad and I still fight with it and hatred towards my body that we’re fed from the youngest age and I refuse to let that happen to her.

So no she doesn’t have to finish her plate to get ice cream. She doesn’t have to eat all her veggies to be excused. She’s allowed to enjoy food as it comes to her as she learns and experiences it. And so far it’s paid off she’ll literally eat anything.

Except peanut butter

We do have a weird distrust issue where she does not believe we are all eating the same thing for dinner (we literally always are) and she has to go around to every bowl like Goldilocks and take a bite from everyone’s before she is satisfied

Like girlie we’re all eating chili. Idk what to tell you.

She was poisoned in a past life

Stop it this is the funniest addition to my post because she truly investigates like a queen who her people are trying to poison her

Hoverbike

Imagine Valerie had a hoverbike instead of a hoverboard.

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out