@inneskeeper this seems relevant to your interests
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! SHE DOIBLES DOWN!
It is actually rare that I get shown stuff that could ACTUALLY be the spawning point of a new and proper named heresy within Holy Roman Catholicism.
“Jesus actually survived the crucifixion” is legitimately one of the most terrifyingly viable heretical traditions you could start. It fulfills the exact ramifications for a popular and overwhelming heresy: It supports and glorifies Christ’s strength (so powerful he could not die in a meaningful way), encouraging different theological philosophies and understandings of the source material, and is COMPLETELY RUINOUS about the WHOLE POINT of Jesus as the Lamb of God. He is destined to die to take on the sins of all humanity forever so we can br forgiven. The death and the resurrection of Christ after his journey into Hell for three days is cosmologically as important as the Trinity. It is one of the pivotal foundations of the entirety of the religion.
If Jesus didn’t die, he didn’t die for us. That changes a LOT of things. But it is at its root a heresy which is not anti-Christian and is instead just a completely irreconcilable veneration.
I love this woman. I need to encourage her to be like this.
tOxIcItY iS a ChArAcTeR tYpE this is fucking amazing
Okay it’s been several hours and I’m still not even slightly over this.
Like, Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life, except the resurrection bit is metaphorical, because I’m too swole to actually die.”
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, but not really, for he made his only begotten son super fucking butch. Like, obviously way too butch to actually succumb to a little crucifying.”
“Pilate was surprised to hear that he was already dead. Summoning the centurion, he asked him if Jesus had already died. The centurion said to him, ‘Jesus is too shredded to kill, he’s like the Terminator, nothing can take him out.’ Pilate sent Joseph away with nothing, for Jesus was indestructible.”
“The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified but absolutely did not die. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was just taking a little nap. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He never died, you all really jumped the gun this time.’”
“The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men, but it would take an atomic bomb to kill him, he’ll be fine.”
I’m sorry I’m still stuck on the idea that Jesus couldn’t possibly be a “weak, frail, emotional man” when the shortest and best-known line in the Bible is “Jesus wept” and three out of four Gospels describe Jesus as being extremely emotionally upset and anxious in the Garden of Gethsemane, to the point that in Luke’s gospel he’s described as sweating blood (which is a real thing that happens when your capillaries burst out of extreme stress).
The Gospel of Luke, according to this lady:
Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him. Jesus said to them, “I’m honestly not even really bothered about this, but I’d appreciate it if you stayed up with me. You know, like a sleepover.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Not because it’s a big deal or anything, it’s just really annoying and I’d rather not.” And then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping, and was really bummed out about it, because he’d been hoping to play a few rounds of Go Fish with them before he was betrayed.
For he shall grow up before him as the most rugged, aggressive, unkillable weed… he shall be super ripped; and when we shall see him, he’s just gonna be like, super masculine and amazing, you have no idea. (Isaiah 53:2)
“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for my muscles are super big and I am strong and brutal of heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29)
Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest’s servant, and cut off his right ear… Then said Jesus unto Peter, “Yeah! Get him!” and then he decked the guy while he was down for good measure. (John 18:10-11)
And of course, we mustn’t forget the first few verses of Jesus’ most well-known sermon, the Sermon On The Mount:
Blessed are the strong in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that suck it up: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the aggressive: for they shall inherit the earth.
(Matthew 5:3-5)
Most lizards already have wild-looking skulls, but worm lizards elevated it to an artform
Leposternon microcephalum, Smallhead Worm Lizard
Bipes biporus, Baja Worm Lizard
Rhineura floridana, Florida Worm Lizard
Anops kingii, Keel-headed Worm Lizard
Skull images from digimorph.com
For reference, in life, most of these guys are a variation on this look:
I can't decide which comparison is funnier
:S
:|
10/10 animals
It is as if sockpuppets had skulls
jesse don't touch that that's the growth potion i've been synthesi-no jesse DON'T
yo mr white you're all tiny and shit now
PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth
This one is pissing me off because there’s cheese in it. I’m not sure there’s a period of Chinese dynastic history wherein the type of dudes likely to be having rap battles would also have been familiar with hard cheese. There’d be political fucking implications to that. Fermented dairy products were often seen as uncivilized foods, and were associated in particular with northern “barbarian” cuisine (see: <lactose intolerance in Eurasia>), whereas competitive poetry was viewed as a civilized and scholarly pastime appropriate to civil servants and courtiers. Mentioning cheese in a verse which also references the heavens could be seen as an effort to legitimize the presence of these dangerous foreign elements within Chinese society, and, thus, as seditious. If dairy were to become a common theme in rap battles, it might be viewed as a dangerous sign of poor morale and defeatist thinking among the literati. “Emperor, we have got to move the capital to the south. The scholars are rapping about cheese. It’s all falling apart.”
Now this is a fucking post
one of the worst things abt chronic fatigue and chronic pain is the boredom. rendered incapable of doing anything and the pain and fatigue is so taxing that your brain can't handle doing engaging things. your brain gets tired. too tired to think sometimes. but you're still aware. so then comes the boredom. just yearning for any kind of activity but being denied it because you just don't have the space for it. the worst thing abt pain and fatigue is that it's banal.
looks at you
looks at you
@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized
today i have learned about Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for the Sega CD, based on the movie, which is not only inexplicable half adventure game and half fighting game, but also you fight elizabeth in it and ALSO they give elizabeth blanka's roll attack
Community Label: Mature
HISTORIANS / SEXOLOGISTS / ENTHUSIASTIC NERDS
WHEN WAS THE EARLIEST KNOWN USE OF STRAP ONS?!??!!
(also site sources pretty pls 💕)
Hard to say for certain! Strap-ons tend to be made of flexible organic material like cloth, rope/twine, or leather, which is rarely found well-preserved earlier than about 500 years ago; there are definite physical requirements for a strap-on, but they're shared with anal dildos (and it's truly hard to tell if any dick-shaped archaeological find is meant for sex or meant for cultic purposes or both).
I suspect the best way to determine this is actually linguistic archaeology - look for languages which have a common root for "dildo, strap-on" which diverged some time in the past, and you then have a firm horizon at which both cultures had a specific word for that concept. (Of course, sex stuff tends to be dominated by slang, which is annoyingly fluid for reconstructive linguistics.)
I don't actually have a source (sorry about that!) but the Romans were particularly obsessed with women (or, well, obviously sometimes "women") penetrating men and each other, and in art and writing this was usually depicted by way of enlarged clitorises - it therefore seems unlikely that the Romans didn't have some similar concept, but we don't have hard evidence. Sorta-kinda related but I wanna share a bit of Signor Dildo, 1600s England:
Bonus suggestive little tidbit: a traditional Scots knife, the ballock dagger (so called because the hilt frankly does look like a cock and balls), often included rope knurling or twine to suggest rope binding the figure's base. It would surprise me 0% if this gestured to previous use of similar wooden strap-ons, they're the right shape if not the right size and the rope/twine binding is pretty familiar to anyone who's had to improvise a strap before, yet would be pretty silly to do to a cock and balls physically attached to a human being
There’s written evidence for strap-ons going back to the 10th century. I doubt it’s the earliest clear evidence, but the earliest I (not a historian!) know about. From a penitential written by Buchard of Worms:
Have you done what certain women are accustomed to do, that is, to make some sort of device or implement in the shape of the male member, of the size to match your desire, and you have fastened it to the area of your genitals or those of another with some form of fastenings and you have fornicated with other women or others have done with a similar instrument or another sort with you? If you have done this you shall do penance for five years on legitimate holy days.[1]
Community Label: Mature
Sexual themes