If you got this far into my very plainly worded post still thinking that I'm taking issue with loanwords having a different meaning in the language borrowing them than in their native language, I really don't know what to tell you.
If "gung ho" was used to mean, specifically, collusion on a criminal conspiracy, and regular cooperation was just called "cooperation," would you get it then? If we said "friend" to mean a friend, and "amigo" to mean an accomplice to a crime, or said "cute" to refer to something that's cute and "kawaii" to refer to the object of a fetish, would you understand why "different languages have different connotations for the same word" doesn't really negate the fact that choosing to differentiate between The Neutral One and The Evil One by using a foreign word for The Evil One is a weency bit racist? If the connotation for "tea" was just tea, and the connotation for "chai" was that it was specifically a dirty and unhealthy kind of tea, would you then see the issue?
All the examples you provided— neko, kawaii, anime— the loan words all mean "specifically the Japanese version of the thing they mean generically in Japanese." It's a Chai Tea situation. If you were arguing that the difference in connotations between a Fujoshi and a female slash shipper is that one is Japanese and one is not, maybe we could talk about "different connotations," but if the different connotation is that the English loan word "Fujoshi" is a bad fetishizer, while the standard English word just means the same thing "Fujoshi" means in Japanese, then what you're arguing is basically the same as saying "boyfriend" means a man you date while "novio" means an abusive boyfriend
I'm not missing the point that the connotations are different here. That is exactly the point I am making. The connotations we've chosen to attach to the loanwords "fujoshi" and "yaoi" are based in racism. So you're left with two basic options. You can
- Change the connotations of how you use those words so they're even-handed, using "fujoshi" to either refer to ALL women who like m/m content or NONE of them, and actually say what you mean instead of using a foreign loanword for The Bad Version of a thing we already have plenty of words for, or
- You can agree with the racist people who decided to assign the negative connotation to, and keep using the word "fujoshi" to mean "the icky bad women who like m/m, as opposed to the regular women who like m/m, who don't get an equivalent Foreign Word"