Sanguine

there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot

They implemented a new feature on AO3 where you could curse or bless other users depending on if you liked their fics, and someone sent me a curse that blocked me from reading fics for the next 27 days and I got so pissed off I woke up.

my 8 year old has some emotional regulation difficulties, and I've done my best to help him with those.

unrelated, I gave him a shovel a couple of days ago and told him to go have fun in the field because I was tired.

He suddenly seemed happier, having less trouble breathing through disappointment and just being generally all around more cheerful and able to focus in school better. Sure, my partner had to pull him out of a six foot by three foot hole today, but he was stoked about it!

Marked places in the yard where I needed holes and he happily dug them and helped me plant trees, then helped me turn the compost pile and dig the garden beds. He is happy, my back isn't killing me, and we have discussed erosion and soil quality with the gravitas of an 8 year old discovering something they enjoy

Congrats on your future landscaper. Make sure he catches you reading books that will take him up a good path to a rewarding career.

Or gravedigger. Boy might just be in it for the holes.

you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

I’m sorry!? What?!

Whoa, chupacabra’s a millennial?

Я ахуеть как сильно одержима ими

Terfs really think dicks are inherently weapons of mass destruction like??? What the FUCK are u saying lmao

PENIS BLAST

hard to describe the feeling of finishing inside

honestly all i can say is you gotta try it for yourself

official linguistics post

I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet

like this

People drawing their encounters instead of filming strangers without their knowledge or consent: my beloved

In one world, there was a writer who wrote a story about a cop. In another world, the cop was real.

Shout out to this fuckin' Looney-Tunes-ass circle wipe, ahahaha~

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

This 420 is a palindrome!!!! 4/20/2024

It is!

did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness

#'i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion'#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different'#'this is my nightmare'

rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell

they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars

best part of this post is all the people with prosopagnosia confirming that they literally never questioned why the prince was incapable of hiring a sketch artist even in versions without masks/glamours

(ps here’s this)

PLEASE click the link

Please, please, for the love of god, Click. The. Link.

A had a partner with face blindness for several years.  One time it was chilly so I threw on an old sweater I hardly ever wore, but i kept because it was literally the only sweater we could find at the street market in my size one extremely chilly morning in August 1983 in Auvergne and it had good memories despite it’s colour.

I’m a goth.  I was a goth then.  To my lover, I was a person of a particular size and build dressed in black with the occasional jewel tone and dark hair at a particular length.

The sweater was very much not Goth.  It was a pale shade and oversized and nobbly.

We went to Cub Foods, which was a massive warehouse style grocery store.  we separated to do our assorted shopping.

He couldn’t find me.  He searched with an increasing urgency and rising panic.  I oblivious contemplated box macaroni and jiffy mixes as he passed my aisle over and over.

My shopping done I spotted and hailed him, and he looked at me with some confusion, but he knew my voice, my hair, the particular cut of my trousers, picked because they looked good and I could run and fight in them, the shape of my boots.  Once he looked closely, he knew it was me, but at a distance all he was seeing was the Wrong Sweater.

We were neither of us publicly demonstrative by nature, but he hugged me so tight in his relief.  Once I understood, I felt terrible, and when I wore something uncharacteristic, I made sure he memorized it because I could never forget his terror and relief.

This is how I discovered he was face blind.  I was the first person to notice, he’d hidden it so well.

Of course Prince Charming was face blind,