Minnie Smith’s official design! She might be working at the Queen’s Garden, fighting weird goo monsters with her new friends, or trying to dodge hospital guards, but you can bet you’ll always find her with her hair curled and her pearls on. After all, in a big city like Repose Bay, being prepared might mean a sword at the ready or fan waiting to take your picture! Anything could be waiting around the corner.

-K

ID below the cut.

follow @helmsgarde for more fun characters and to follow our story! our game is set in a fantasy mix of prohibition era new york and hong kong, and features speakeasies, underground boxing rings, suspicious knights and goo monsters, crazy amounts of subway rats, and sooo many croissants.

you’re all ‘ohh i love hole’ but now when i’m about to throw you in this bottomless pit (which is a form of hole btw) you’re all ‘please spare me’ fucking hypocrite

why would i want to be thrown in a hole without any bottoms…..think before you post…….

Okay, this made me pause and literally write out every letter that 'fell' in order (‘oomngouuhhrsrtutpntnue’), then make sure they were all contained in 'turntomushuponthergroun'.

They are, and it's very satisfying.

oomngouuhhrsrtutpntnued

→

turntomushupontheground

a comic about fix-it fanfics

everytime I get a negative covid test I think of the big vaxxed papi tweet

this one

i wonder how much healing that one xkcd comic did to the internet with saying “you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000″ when encountering a person who hasn’t been exposed to a popular or well known thing

you’re so right

hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.

and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.

If you want to write a dumb little story with a dumb little plot and ridiculously silly characters. No one's stopping you. Genuinely, no one should be allowed to stop you. Write that dumb story with your whole heart and don't hold back.

DID MY YAOI STICKERS ARRIVE

it was my bachelor degree 😑

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 0/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

France becomes the first western state to formally call for a ceasefire. Keep up the calls and protests.

This is fantastic news, keep up the momentum, more western states can follow. I know the US is gonna be slow to the game but I am working really hard over here to do the best I can to nudge it in this direction.

for a second I thought this was a meme & not an informative illustration of horse mood, & I thought I just couldn’t get the joke

Make this the new meme!

War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, Umami

richard -> dick so obviously we should start the charles -> cock process

how the fuck do you get cock from charles

you ask him nicely

The Richard-dick naming situation actually comes from a fad that existed back in I think it was the 17th or 18th century, can’t remember which. But the naming fad/convention of the time was for rhyming secondary nicknames for names that already had a 4 letter nickname. Ie: William-will-bill, Richard-rick-dick

so it’d be Charles-chuck-fuck

so I'm Canadian and I grew up ALWAYS taking my shoes off in the house. I watch a lot of American TV though and they almost never take their shoes off in the house, which for years I thought was just for convenience when filming, but I've learned that apparently some people actually do leave their shoes on???

anyway all this to say can you reblog this with where you're from and whether or not you take your shoes off in the house?

Writing exercise for people who have lots of OCs but don't know what do with them: Take a handful of your OCs and

STRAND THEM IN OUTER SPACE

#I hope they feel like Italian today

is the tgirl wearing a collar doing it because she has a fetish, or just because it's a cute accessory? is the gay man in leather and a pup mask actually being "indecent" or is he just dressed up like a dog because it's fun? are drag queens doing it because crossdressing is sexy or because drag is an expression of who they are as a person? does the furry walking around in full suit have a boner under their outfit or do they just like cosplaying as their cute cartoon squirrel oc?

you will never know. you can never tell. sometimes even the people doing these things won't have an answer. is it a sex thing? is it kink? who fucking knows! there is no line! public expressions of sexuality aren't immoral to begin with, but if you make any attempt to suppress them, you have to decide what is and isn't allowed, and you are going to get it wrong. there is no way to untangle kink from personality and hobbies and interests. kink does not even necessarily involve sex. sometimes it's just self-expression and vulnerability and sharing a particular dynamic with another person. sounds a lot like (checks notes) literally every other human experience that exists.

i'll say it again: the person wearing a leash in your vicinity is not sexually assaulting you. they're just wearing a leash.

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that