Where that New England Gothic post
baepsaebot
my personal favorite
apparently no one was paying attention in middle school language arts when we learned what a fucking protagonist was
now THIS one louder at the back
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
saltandvinegarcrisps
please don’t start reblogging this again this post ruined my life
these are all the same sort of animal. do you understand.
these are all small skittish creatures that love to bite and are found in drawers of garages and classrooms. they’re all related and in the same small biter family. weird little kids who play with them while they’re distracted and have empathy for them can tame them and become these beasts companions
Thank the Lord someone understands
Telepathic aliens enjoy that humans will "play music" for hours at a time. When it's too mentally quiet on deck, they just announce the catchiest song titles they know and the humans will start thinking about it automatically.
The humans hate this so, so much.
Zorf: Human Steve, can you please play that song I like, the one with all the females
Steve: what
Zorf: A little bit of Monica in my life
Steve:
Steve: mother fu--
it's amazing how ordinary objects can become so significant to only the owner
when my aunt's best friend passed away, my younger brother was four years old. at his funeral, my brother went up to her and gave her a nickel. he told her very solemnly that it would make her feel better. she smiled for the first time in days, and tucked it in her wallet.
when my brother was 22, his best friend passed away unexpectedly. my aunt drove three hours to be there for him at the funeral. she went up to my brother, gave him a big hug, and then gave him a nickel. it was the same nickel; she had kept it in her wallet for 18 years, and now it's on a necklace that he never takes off.
what i'm trying to say is that the love you put into the world will always find its way back to you.
[PLEASE KEEP ANONYMOUS BC I DON’T WANT TO BE FIRED]
I’m a bra fitter in the UK. Won’t name the store, but it’s one that’s internationally popular so occasionally we get people from abroad coming in to bulk-buy English bras because they fit better and are cheaper.
A few months ago a German woman, who didn’t speak any English, came in for a fitting with her two daughters to translate for her. What she didn’t know was that I speak near-fluent German because I used to work in Bochum as a primary school teacher.
I fitted her for an hour (she wanted a LOT) and she slagged me off the whole time - “she doesn’t know what she’s doing / she’s so young– have they given me an intern? I want a professional / I won’t take fashion advice from a girl that heavy / she’s not using european sizing, is she stupid” - and her daughters translated VERY favourably, both of them clearly quite uncomfortable with the situation.
I put on a brave face for the whole thing, pretending not to notice, and then as I was putting in her customer info (we keep a record of all our customers) one of the daughters complimented me for pronouncing their surname correctly.
I said thanks, and casually dropped into conversation - in perfect German - that I used to live in Germany and spoke the language.
Watching all the colour drain from that woman’s face as she realised what just happened, and seeing her two daughters quietly lose their collective shit behind her, was pretty glorious. Almost made it worth it.
Rivendell: The Last Homely House East of the Sea (detail)
by Jerry Vanderstelt
Playing Tears of the Kingdom makes me get what that Lin Manuel Miranda guy was saying…million things I havent done man……
Fine then making adjustments
Playing Tears of the Kingdom makes me get what that Smash Mouth guys was saying…so much to do…so much to see…
This might be the funniest reply I’ve ever seen in my life
I AM WHEEZING
PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS OMFG
Interesting to call this “confiscating” when it’s just making the rich pay their fair share, especially considering all the stolen wealth from the bottom 99% and historic tax evasion.
nostalgia will have you thinking delusional crap like "i miss being 14." no the fuck i don't!!!
my ultimate life hack? i like, never wear makeup except for occasions where i want to feel overly hot/professional. this way, people who see me everyday won’t be shocked when i don’t wear makeup, they will instead be shocked at how much hotter i can become. how much potential i don’t unlock for no reason other than laziness
See also: ironing, wearing heels, putting styling product in my hair.
I need you all to understand that every time I put the effort in I get 80s teen movie transformation level doubletakes.
It’s hilarious
I am going to spit on Thomas Edison's grave
Interestingly enough, Albert Einstein- who did not have an especially good memory- was famously skeptical of Edison’s tests and interviews, believing they overemphasized speed of recall and rote memorization of things one could just look up, and would in fact cause Edison to turn away minds like his own. Einstein thought knowing how to find, verify, and index information was far more valuable, going so far as to say “Never memorize something you could look up”- and all of this when the act of ‘looking something up’ was far more arduous than it is today.
All this to say those of us that hate job interviews are in good company.
I really cannot emphasize enough the mental health benefits of abandoning the idea that you're special.
This goes both ways, both "You don't have to do everything singlehanded" and "You're not uniquely awful."
This is something I came to grips with as part of years of recovering from PTSD and it was so, so important. Realizing that the worst thing in my life has also happened to so many other people was at first disappointing because I wanted to be special to give my suffering meaning. Then I realized that my suffering isn't what makes me special or interesting. And once I let go of needing to be special, I started paying attention to all the ways other people enrich my life and just became happier.
'you have x many followers' those r cadavers girl. corpses. abandoned vessels of blogs who once were. its the apocalypse in there. its me and my 5 mutuals against the world.
Its crazy how jack blacks kid just looks like if jack black had a son
a scooby doo series set in community college where the gang is in a criminology class and end up in a huge debate on the first day of class that leads to them starting a podcast talking about local urban legends, only to realize things aren’t quite adding up and they go to investigate for ~journalistic authenticity~ and end up solving a real-life crime disguised as supernatural occurrences. this happens every week and they’re frequently featured on the school newspaper. they only have twenty listeners