Blood loss? No I know exactly where it is
intactics-deactivated20211231
and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally
the last sentence of my thesis
steadily recognizing that i’m allowed to exist in public spaces and not feel embarrassed about it… can you believe i used to feel weird about/too inadequate to sit on a bench in a public space. it’s ok. you’re allowed to be. just be. just sit on a bench. it’s ok
The trick to getting to this point is to just think of yourself as an extra in a movie.
I used to be so self conscious about existing in public but I’ve slowly realized that if I just saw some random fat guy in the background of a movie I probably wouldn’t even think about him.
This is why I’ve come to describing myself as just some guy. I’m just some guy! Nobody gets mad at just some guy for reading a nutrition label in the grocery store. He’s just some dude. He’s a part of The Public. The Masses. The Customers. That’s what this place was made for!
Follow up:
Facts are facts. @ladycloud @esmesqualor-not-esmecullen
Machineries of Empire is likewise excellent with One (1) inexplicable Space Texan
lilstinky-deactivated20221002
anyway! the banana bread vendor at the farmers market is called "better than sex" but this year they changed it to "almost better than sex" which means the bread is just worse this year or girlie got some good dick since last summer
The American justice system when rich and famous people are tried
runicbinary
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.
I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis.
Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”
Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”
Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”
The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list
And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.
Bruces “Dad senses” are tingling 😌
Quarantine with the batfam
stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis
there’s more lmao, unhinged bitty energy
I showed this tiktok to my grandma to make her laugh, but now she’s all excited and actually wants to make a chocolate potato cake. We’re gonna do it.
I’ll keep everyone posted.
It’s happening, folks!
Looks good, but we’re not done yet!
Our sweet, sweet child needs to cool before we add the finishing touches!
My creation is complete!
After dinner, we’ll give it a taste test!
I wonder how it’ll taste.
Oh…
My…
God.
It’s incredible!
This stupid cake, made with potatoes … is delicious! It’s so sweet, moist, and decadent, just like a brownie! And I don’t even like chocolate or potatoes!
The recipe from the tiktok was pretty much impossible to find. I looked high and low, but everyone posted recipes that I KNOW he didn’t use because the ingredients and methods were different. After some searching, my grandma and I came up with our own recipe.
For the Cake:
1 cup mashed potato
2 cups sour cream
1 ¾ cup flour
1 ¾ cup sugar
¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
½ cup softened butter
2 eggs
1 ½ tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
Pinch of salt
For the Drizzle:
4 oz semi-sweet chocolate
½ cup sugar
3 tbsp corn syrup
2 tbsp water
A lot of recipes called for a mixer or a processor, but my grandma and I wanted to make an every-man kind of recipe, since we know not everyone has those things. Plus they’re heavy and a pain to clean anyway, so bowls it is!
Instructions:
1. Peel and boil the potato, then mash it. Set aside to cool. Go to the bathroom, do your homework, then come back. That should be enough time.
2. Set oven to 350°F.
3. Cream butter. This means putting the sugar and butter into a bowl and mashing it together with a fork until it’s thoroughly mixed.
3. Put everything else in the same bowl, including the mashed potato. Mix and stir well. Work those muscles!
4. Grease a pan (doesn’t matter what kind you use) and spatula batter into pan. Even out if necessary.
5. Bake in oven for 40 minutes.
6. Test cake with pick. If nothing sticks, it’s finished. If batter does stick to pick, let it bake a bit longer but make sure it doesn’t burn. Remove and set aside to cool.
For the Drizzle:
1. Cut chocolate into tiny squares.
2. In a small pot, mix sugar, corn syrup, and water.
3. On medium heat, wait for mixture to sizzle and stir it. Do NOT let it boil.
4. Remove from element and add chocolate.
5. Wait for squares to melt, then mix.
6. Drizzle or pour over cake.
Enjoy!
I’m so glad there’s a recipe now, I really want to try this!
Hey here is a thing that happened. We went for a simple ganache for the glaze. Heated 1 cup of cream till hot then poured over 1 cup of semisweet and 1 cup of milk chocolate chips. Whisk untill melted and pour over your chocolate mash potato cake
Found the original recipe! (Apparently it was listed as a caramel potato cake in the original recipe book??? Anyway, now there’s two CPC recipes!)
Chocolate Potato Cake
½ cup butter 1 cup sugar 2 eggs ½ cup milk ½ cup hot riced potatoes [just pure potato, mashed, no milk or butter or pepper or salt or whatever, just pure mashed potato] 1 cup flour 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp clove ½ tsp nutmeg ½ cup grated chocolate ½ cup chopped nut meats [optional, never ever feel pressured to add nuts to your chocolate cake, our guy here didn’t!]
Just… put everything into the mixing bowl in that order, with lots of mixing in between each addition.
Into a greased and/or lined tin, and then into a moderate oven for 55 minutes (or until cooked).
Frosting
2 Tbs butter 1 cup sugar ¼ cup milk 1 square unsweetened chocolate ½ tsp vanilla [also optional, since again, not mentioned by our maker here!]
Boil, but be careful it doesn’t burn. …Basically? Stir constantly! (also, apparently the vanilla only gets added after the mix is taken off the heat…)
He did a long-form! He explained the steps!
thebigwillie
this passes the bechdel test
mcdonaldguy
i was gonna say “but they don’t have names!” but they do. the blonde’s name is dumb thotticus and the brunette’s name is m-seq
bigheadmode
strong contender for post of the decade
do you think the dc universe has a news site like the onion that’s just like…
“meddling parents still alive, preventing bruce wayne from adopting yet anther orphan”
“new study shows that 87% of all americans class superman as american citizen despite being born on a different planet, but only 49% avoided eye contact when asked about why martian manhunter doesn’t count”
“area woman thanking her lucky stars that batman and superman fell out on the same day she was due to go to boss’ niece’s bat mitzvah”
“arkham guard astonished by trip to iron heights, only now learning what locks are for”
“area man pretty sure he should be making more than $60k a year if his boss has 10 billion dollars to waste on robotic exosuit”
“breaking news: lex luthor sues superman for loss of earnings, claims that continually losing fights to him is negatively affecting his work ethic”
“Hub City mayor declares state of unemergency after two hours without a violent crime”
“grown man who dresses in halloween costume every night thinks clown his biggest problem”
“disappointed child realizes Booster Gold at birthday party the real one, not just a guy in a costume”
“drunk Aquaman rampages through ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride”
“new Teen Titan not attached to any Justice League member wonders why they’ve been issued a uniform with a red shirt”
“Earth totally not a tax haven, say Green Lantern Corps as they assign eighth lantern to same planet”
“’no one knows how to stop him’ says armed police officer as non-powered clown-themed supervillain begins 82nd massacre this year”
Clark.
Clark wrote all of these, you can’t change my mind.
Bruce is exasperated but thinks some are funny and does nothing, nothing at all to stop it, even tells the press some are close to the truth.
Alan Burnett and Bruce Timm on Joker’s signature grin
I heard them say once that if they had to change anything for the censors they would follow the instructions to the letter while making it substantially more horrific.
When you put death off the table entirely as a narrative device for writers, I feel like you’re almost asking to get a lesson in “what is a fate worse than death?” It’s one thing to say hey limit the use of this theme because children’s show, or keep the actual depiction occurring off-screen (implied), but to flatly ban it means they have to get more creative to make that emotional gut-punch, and the result tends to be worse for the creative not-death.
I love how the episode is called “Chidi Sees the Time Knife” but it has no bearing whatsoever on the plot
Sometimes you write a line and you’re just like “oh yeah, that’s a banger” and that is almost CERTAINLY what happened here
