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1997 honda cervix

“everyone who says they dont watch porn is lying lol” the fact that you cant even fathom the idea of not watching pornography is concerning

Every time I mention my boyfriend isn’t aroused by porn both men and women get incredibly offended

Why does someone’s lack of porn use offend so many people? Like sorry he doesn’t view women as objects so it’s impossible for him to be aroused by objectifying someone? Their guilt is really showing in these situations.

also ppl have incredibly weak memories and can’t recall that in the time before internet, watching porn on a daily basis was considered embarassing at best in most circles, and at worst, pathetic, creepy, or a huge red flag. having infinite access to an infinite variety of porn about every kink and every type of racism, sexism, incest, and rape imaginable isn’t the Natural Human State.

In just my grandma’s time, if a man was found to be watching porn they were labeled as the neighborhood “pervert” and all women avoided that guy like the plague. Let’s bring that back. Don’t date men who watch porn. They have lower empathy for women, higher risk of erectile dysfunction, and they are more likely to see you as an object, not a human. They struggle to tell if the sounds you make in bed are sounds of pain or pleasure, they literally can’t differentiate if a women is being hurt or feeling good.

It’s way more recent than within your grandma’s lifetime. Hell, I just rewatched the original L word (which aired in the early 2000s) and there are multiple episodes that have female characters expressing disgust over a male’s porn use—including straight characters who treat the discovery of porn use by their male partners as a total dealbreaker! I remember similar plotlines on Sex and the City and other iconic shows from the 90s/early 2000s, too. Porn would never ever be presented as a niche weird/gross proclivity in a tv script today… and yet it regularly was discussed and portrayed as such in media as recently as, like, 2006.

i blame the show friends for the normalisation of men watching porn. the amount of jokes and references to porn in that show is actually shocking, i am sure it created a cultural shift

It’s not just friends. There’s a shift in y2k shows, even something like that 70s show (obviously very anachronistic) and family guy and adult swim shows all normalized porn and watching porn. Porn stars started to enjoy a more mainstream audience from reality shows and guest starring on network shows. The references to porn have been steadily increasing and Friends is a long-time show during the time period when it happened.

Of course porn didn’t used to be normal. Even fairly recently, porn being “normal” meant that you’ve seen racy photos on occasion (involving partial or full nudity) of carefully posed women. When Friends was on the air, this meant Playboy magazines and softcore videos with simulated sex acts. You certainly didn’t see sex acts being performed in detail, let alone some of the material that’s now considered “standard”. Masturbating to high definition videos, for hours every single week (usually every single day) was not even possible before smartphones and high speed internet, let alone normal. It’s scary how quickly it became completely normal to do this behavior, and how quickly it became accepted by men of all political backgrounds.

You’d expect liberal men to object to having their sexuality hijacked by major corporations, the dark money, the problematic nature of the material (the racist titles, the homophobic ones, not to mention, why are videos titled things like “slut learns a lesson” ok but “baby it’s cold outside” should be taken off the radio?) Porn is bigger than the entire US motion picture industry. They make more money than MLB, NFL, and the NBA combined. These are all billion dollar industries, and porn dwarfs them. You’d expect the kind of men who call for amazon boycotts and protesting hate speech to abhor this industry.

You’d expect conservative men to object to the morality of sexually lascivious material being normalized and consumed, particularly by children. You’d expect them to object to young men preferring unnatural images and sex acts over real relationships. You’d also expect them to be against masturbation, considering many major faiths have rules against it.

But both groups of men, with seemingly disparate values, have both twisted their beliefs into a logic pretzel that lets them consume porn and publicly defend it. They will outright admit that they don’t care if the porn they’re watching is nonconsensual, if it features an underage person, if it actually injured someone to make. They don’t care because none of them see women or girls as human beings. Go to any male-dominated social media site and read what they have to say about the women actors in porn. And yet the only people who are viewed as “hateful” are women who object to porn on feminist grounds. It’s completely insane.

i was alive for the mainstreaming of porn. it happened in the mid-90s. Key players were Howard Stern, Jenna Jameson, and Nina Hartley. 

Prior to this, you had to seek out porn in a determined way in order to access it.  There were some asshole guys at school but you could mostly steer around them. Boys used to ask first if they could kiss you. You could get drunk at a party in high school and not get raped.  I suppose that world is gone now.

Also, particularly in the UK, it also came about with the introduction of “lads mags” like FHM, Loaded, Nuts, Zoo etc. that glorified that way of thinking and helped normalise pornography in the mainstream.

Right right. We had Maxim and Details in America. 

I guess Friends TV show was also implicated but I didn’t notice at the time.  

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

Yeah, this isn’t some Greek myth story about a hero or demigod or something, Agnodice was a real person who actually did this.

Compañeras: zapatista womens stories by Hilary Klein. While Klein isnt indigenous herself, she has worked and lived amongst Zapatistas and captured the women’s voices. I just want every radfem to read this.

Crazy Brave by Joy Harjo and Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog are two memoirs I’ve read. Lakota Woman especially deals with the occupation at Wounded Knee in the 70s and I learned a lot.

Split Tooth by Tanya Tagaq is part memoir, part fiction, part poetry. Iirc there’s a strong core of life in Inuit community.

All three of these books deal with domestic violence and sexual assault.

I'm currently reading this and I'd recommend it

I did my bachelors in Indigenous studies so I’ll share some of my faves that are in my collection. Some are autobiographical/fiction and others are non-fiction, but the fiction has elements of cultural truth not found in non-fiction, so very much worth reading.

Nobody cries at bingo - dawn dumont: a slice of life story about a family’s life on the reservation. Very funny, a lot of really great moments in this book.

Bobby Lee, Indian Rebel - Lee Maracle: semi-autobiographical account of growing up as an Indigenous woman on the Canadian west coast. A story of rebellion and resistance in the 80s and 90s.

The Inconvenient Indian - Thomas King: a great first book to start out with. It goes through the history of colonization up until the present and does so with biting humour and a clear purpose.

In search of April Raintree: you will cry and cry, this is a heart wrenching story of two Indigenous sisters who suffered trauma and separation in the foster care system. I remember skipping a class to finish reading it, it’s a gripping read.

Buffy Sainte-Marie: beautiful biography about a Canadian Indigenous folk singer of the vintage and calibre of any of the classics. It speaks of her struggles trying to find a place in music as a woman, an Indigenous person and a survivor of trauma.

I am woman - Lee maracle: a sociological and feminist analysis of her struggle accepting her womanhood and culture. I think this is THE one if you’re looking for modern Indigenous feminist analysis and autobiography.

Any play by Marie Clements: unbelievably vivid, beautiful and heartbreaking stories about indigenous experiences. They’re almost impossible to put into practice because of their stage directions and the layering of scenes. Historical symbolism overlapping modern experiences, just works of art. Highly recommend.

Let me know if you want more, I have a ridiculous number left over from my studies that I’ve kept for posterity and reference.

2023 cultivate a childlike sense of wonder

2023 spend more time alone in nature

2023 look up at the sky

It’s scabbing and so it itches A LOT and I’m struggling a lot to not touch it... but it’s beautiful and perfect and everything I wanted.

Disclaimer: if you say a single word about ancient curses, I will rip your head off for your very Christian and Eurocentric approach toward ancient non-Western cultures. If you want to know more about my tattoo, the woman who had it close to two millennia before me, or my own reasons for the tattoo, I’m happy to answer those questions. If you tell me I’m cursed because you think everything ancient holds some magical and malevolent power, I will actually destroy you.

Dermatologists hate her! Achieve the complexion of a 1500 year old mummy with this one weird trick!

To everyone who’s asked about the tattoo specifically ( @goreoboros @midnight-blue-moon-princess​ @spartan127​ @pagaea​ and probably some other people I’ve missed).

The tattoo is drawn from the Pazyryk Ice Maiden, an unintentional mummy that accidentally led to an absurd amount of knowledge about Scythian culture. I have a whole tag about her which should give you the basics - essentially, she was a priestess of some kind, she was disabled at a young age, she died of bone cancer. I intended to get my tattoo years earlier, but it doesn’t escape me that the tattoo was a present to myself on my 33rd birthday, which is probably the oldest the person who originally bore it was when she died.

If you can love a person across time, I love her. I love her humanity, the story we can infer from her bones - and, as I’m studying forensic anthropology, the story inferred from bones is particularly important to me. As a disabled person, her existence, and the fact that she was loved enough to bury her the way they would warriors, when there was no way this woman ever went to war... it’s important to me. We have always cared for one another. Disabled people have always been of great importance within their culture. And she and her grave have become our greatest evidence of what Scythian culture was actually like - this woman disabled from a fairly young age, dead of cancer young as well... she was loved and cared for and so important in that society that they built a burial mound for her that (unintentionally) stood the test of time better than any other.

...I got her tattoo not only because I love ancient art (I’m literally planning an entire sleeve of ancient art on my other arm), but because to me she’s a symbol of humanity. That humans are meant to care for each other, that even in ancient times, disabled people were able to be important and beloved in their community. That the worst right wing assholes are wrong about human nature, because I have proof from antiquity that our nature is to love and care for each other.

This woman survived a decade past when she should have, after that first fall that disabled her. This woman lived and became an important person in her culture. This woman had shoes where even the soles were beaded because they would never need to touch the ground. This woman was cared for, and loved, and revered, and she’d been disabled since she was a young teen. This is all important. This all matters.

like to charge reblog to make airbnb die faster

airbnb used to be a nice little side gig for when people had an extra room they wanted to rent out for an occasional weekend because their kid went off to college, or to let people stay in their camping cabin in the off-seasons, just simple hospitality and such. but then the landlord types got the big idea to buy up properties and do all that stupid nonsense in attempts for profit, and since hotels would fill up quick in vacation cities, they did have “success” in that for a bit. and then they just bought more and more and made things worse until hey guess what, everyone’s sick of your shit and there’s vacancy at hotels again.

landlords can get fucked

The funny part is that this is literally just the free market working. If your thing sucks, people can decide to not buy it

plus legislation is catching up. I think it was Berlin that recently introduced a law that you cant rent out full properties on Airbnb anymore, it can literally only be a room in a place you yourself live in to discourage this exact issue, and thank god. airbnb was supposed to be a nice and community-driven thing, until capitalists swept in to ruin it, so they really can suffer for their deeds now when they default on the loans they took out to buy those properties. maybe flats will actually become available and somewhat normal in cities again.

first post-covid painting

archived link cuz source 404’d

(Source)

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

if you don't know where to go, just wander! go to the store and don't buy anything, go to the library just to sit and do whatever you were going to do at home, go to a park and just walk around/sit outside for a bit (weather permitting, of course)

just put some headphones in and walk around the block a couple times if you really have nothing else to do, just getting a bit of air and change of scenery is so good for you

me the first few weeks of forcing myself to go on daily walks (it gets better tho)

oh to be a small mouse wearing a sweater while delivering freshly baked bread to the neighbors

New wacky romance manga: A teenage boy gets locked in a bomb shelter with his crush after a false alarm for a nuclear war. The boy later finds out about the alarm being false but he tells the girl the world ended because she said she'll only ever date him "if he was the last man on Earth".

New disturbing psychological horror manga: A teenage girl gets locked up in a bomb shelter with one of her classmates after the world ends in a nuclear war. Despite her reservations, the two start to get closer. But there's something off about the whole situation. And her classmate is definitely hiding something.

#this is such a concise illustration of narrative framing thanks op

How men see their lies to get women to have sex with them VS the experience women go through as a result of their lies.

Everybody talks about cutting ppl off but nobody really talks about the grief that comes with having to stand firm on that decision knowing it’s not what you wanted but what was necessary for your well-being.

literally grief.

Kafka said “all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding” and I think more people need to understand that