2015 DCBB

Title: Chemical Author: Rabidbinbadger | AO3 | Tumblr Artist: Witchylana | AO3 | Tumblr Fandom: Supernatural Rating: E Words: 120,000 Pairing: Dean/Cas

Warnings: Angst, fluff, unsafe driving practices, homophobic language, unhealthy coping mechanisms, road trip, switch Dean, switch Cas, alcohol, drug use, human Cas, demons, hunters, angels, mystery, thriller, alternate canon

Summary: They kiss, and the world doesn’t end. Also, no-one gets punched in the crotch, and nothing swoops down from the skies to backslap Dean and tell him to stop corrupting ex-servants of heaven. All of which seems, y’know, suspiciously too good to be true.

But they roll with it anyway, and after the kiss there’s a hunt, and a holiday, and an epic road trip. There’s Dean and Cas starting to build a relationship together, and Sam learning to knock before he enters absolutely any room at all, YOU ANIMALS.

And then, just as Dean is starting to inch past his fear of abandonment and trust that things are gonna be okay – that this is a forever deal and not just some interlude between periods of tragedy and loneliness – Cas disappears.

(Note:  Set nebulously around S10, but Charlie is still alive and getting rid of the Mark didn’t unleash the Darkness. )

Fic and Art: AO3

Art: Tumblr | AO3

You can find the sequel, White Rabbit, on AO3.  Updates every Monday and Thursday.

writing is so fun

i hate writing so much

this is so frustrating

i’m a literal god at writing

wait i'm howling sam says he wants the name of every demon on earth and the people they're possessing and look at what he brings to document that information

sam. buddy. i don't think it's gonna fit.

Supernatural isn’t a Carry On My Wayward Son situation it’s a Hotel California situation. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

But the real question is which show is gonna get the Castiel effect. Which aggressively heterosexual show is gonna get gay angelfied. I vote big sky cause how fucking funny if it happens to jackles TWICE.

The two thousands were so funny. If you were Eric kripke you could go anyway yeah so originally dean’s worst nightmare was seeing his father again but jdm had a scheduling conflict so instead deans worst nightmare was confronting HIMSELF about all the expectations his father put on him which ends in him screaming at himself about how he doesn’t deserve this before killing himself. But you know how it is with dads lol. Complicated guys who mess up but do their best!

one of my favorite cas headcanons is that he doesn’t really have a concept of what’s “supernatural” and what isn’t – he just knows what exists – so dean’s like, ok babe we’re about to interact with some of sam’s new Normal Friends so don’t talk about anything magical or paranormal they don’t know is really out there and cas nods like he totally gets it but then fifteen minutes later is frantically googling “are bears real” on his phone 

i’m laughing hard enough to throw up rn what do you Mean misha collins was asked by WB to stay bisexual. what do you Mean. this man is like if a looney tunes characters was given flesh form and an acting contract

like how did this phone call even went. who made the call. who made the executive decision to call misha. did they made some poor intern..... i can't even think about it. was it the ceo of warner bros. who calls him and says. and says. hey. could you maybe. hm. just. be like elsa and let it go. yes letting go means pretending for the rest of your life that you're bisexual. mhm. yes correct. yes this is a normal workplace question that we're asking a normal actor man

do u think the supernatural actors have a lifelong contract where they’re legally required to stir the pot every few months for their royalty checks or what

thinking about the 1x14 dean again hmm. dean insisting no one’s family is normal and happy because the reality is too depressing to think about. both max’s father and john being described as “mean drunks” . dean trying to look impassive when hearing max’s story from the old neighbour. the panic in dean’s voice when he says the abuse max faced doesn’t justify him murdering his whole family. “when my dad used to look at me…there was hate in his eyes” and “[dad] looked at me different, you know? which was worse.” the haunted look at the end when sam says their childhood could have been worse

#Dean in Bugs and Dean in Nightmare and Dean in Something Wicked is really truly a master class in showing not telling#they never say explicitly that Dean was abused in a much more brutal and direct way than Sam was#(to be clear. Sam absolutely was abused it was just much more psychological and indirect)#but Dean spends all of Bugs insisting that Not Samandriel needs to respect his dad and then turns around#and then turns around and gives the kid spot on advice about how to Manage™ his father in a way that gets results with no respect at all#Nightmare of course is obvious#Sam is musing on how hey at least Dad never hit us and Dean just looks like he’s been drenched in ice water and you can just SEE#that he’s processing the realization that yeah. Sam really doesn’t know what he went through.#and of course Something Wicked#John Winchester used his kids as bait and then emotionally punished a nine year old for not being able to handle adult responsibility#(INCLUDING DOING A KILLING FOR HIM)#anyway s1 is such a fucking “Dean was violently abused physically and mentally by his father in a way Sam wasn’t” thesis ep#*season#spn#abuse cw  @ilarual  YEAHHHHHHHHH

I want the markings made on my skin to mean something to me again

more studies, again it’s Sketchbook + Procreate

I still love you, but I still burn

Alice In Chains - love, hate, love

Alright everyone! I've taken your criticisms into account. Here is the new form of the poll that encompasses everyone's thoughts and makes sure everyone stays happy

every episode of spn is like okay we’re gonna spilt up dean you go confront an element of the narrative that will make clear how the abuse you endured as a child continues to harm your self worth and makes you repress every desire you’ve ever had. sam you go interrogate the milf

“if supernatural ended after s5 it would be remembered as one of the greatest tv shows ever” is so funny. it really really wouldn’t

kripke and dabb are the two showrunners most interested in saying something about masculinity and they are both trying to have a discourse on toxic masculinity but the difference is that kripke's thesis is "all the macho guys who shoved me into lockers in high school were all SECRETLY homos, while i, nerdy sensitive guy who got shoved into lockers a lot for being TOO SMART, am actually absolutely crushing pussy all of the time." different writers made different amounts of hay out of this, but it's his basic thesis. meanwhile dabb's thesis is "you can either fail at masculinity and become a pathetic pansy loser worthy of disgust and ridicule, or succeed at masculinity and become a violent sadistic sociopath who needs to be put down for other people's safety. there is no opting out of this race. die in the crab bucket." and honestly i like dabb's better it's more interesting and a lot less smug. kripke's is just trying to change who the winners are. dabb's is a fatalistic and negative idea of the whole system