sigh… it’s been one of those days….*takes a drag from ur clit*

[teen sister in a 90’s movie voice] my pronouns are what/ever/major/loser now get out of my room

she let me hit it cause her whole existence is flawed

i get her closer to god 😏

this is so funny

listen to Nine Inch Nails dude. it'll blow your cottagecore-ass mind

Man sees crab for the first time.

does he…

Live in the

Some fucking

mollusk

pulls up

crossfaded on apple slices and peanut butter

REBLOG if U can smell the heap of mule offal they dumped in my parking space🔥

autism be damned, my girl can work a grill

i don’t think mordecai and rigby were ever gay for each other but i do think many times rigby would be like dude if i was a girl would you want to fuck me and mordecai is like dude that’s weird. no. and rigby is all bent out of shape about it and in the middle of the night when they’re both trying to sleep he’s like why wouldn’t you fuck me if i was a girl. i’m cute right? or am i ugly and that’s why i’m single… and mordecai is like fine whatever i’d fuck girl you. stop bringing it up now. & the next day rigby is like fuck off muscle man i’m not ugly mordecai said he’d fuck girl me & then a portal opens to an alternate dimension where they’re genderbent like that adventure time episode and the voice of god is like mordecai you must make good on your word. fuck girl rigby.

funniest shit I’ve read all day

Fluttershy role play (open)

Oh-oh! Hey ___, thanks so much for coming with me t-today...ah, I haven't driven in a month, so having you here with me is helping so much!! (She's in a dirty hoodie and her car kind of smells bad) So um, my plug is (she's hitting every curb as she backs out of your driveway, Mitski's Washing Machine Heart is playing lightly in the background) a little anxious but she said I could come now...oh gosh...should I have brought her a pie or something? Do you do that? Pinkie usually gets it for me (She just blew a red light while looking over at you) but she's busy...oh gosh....what happens if I mess this up...! Oh!!! (the car starts smoking randomly in the middle of an intersection) oh my Celestia!!! (you both get out and she's about to have an anxious break down) oh!!! (the car is on fire)

the world’s shyest dj just worked up the courage to sniff the microphone and whimper quietly

If i was a girl with a tiktok lip gloss company i would make a grey one called gnat and its gnat flavored and gnat scented

the bedrooms of our friends

[Image Description: A gauche painting in pastel colors, loose brush strokes. A deep sea giant isopod, gray-blue and about the size of a cat, lies on a pink and flower print bedspread quietly reading a book, pillow covers with white ruffles and a teddy bear are nearby. ]

i put too much effort into these

day 1 of trying not to think about gay sex

relapsed

relapsed

relapsed

baby i fuck you 🐜 ant style

has sexwith you like an ant

fuck "girl lunch" fuck "girl math" a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.

ppl are tagging this post with things like 'ooh i want to meet a woman like this' or with specific characters which kind of misses the point i was trying to make. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS. IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO NOTHING. WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.

my newest shark drawing! hammerheads

I don’t get all the hate towards sharks. They’re just silly little creatures :3

gun is a beautiful mother animal and it gives birth to baby bullets who are so fast and small and strong