your name is boner.
pick your head up king your silly hat is falling
world's smallest chihuahua found alive and well resting in a warm corn tortilla
hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water
my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly
...how does it taste?
the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO₂ and H₂O over time. And carbonic acid is – as an acid – sour.
By adding milk to sour water you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great™.
I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.
The miserable wizard reading that his favorite spell, “instant painful organ failure IV” has been banned by the council, closing his newspaper and crying softly to himself while a light misting or rain falls outside
*turns to face camera* i told you to stop narrating me motherfucker
I’m concerned when people seem to be incapable of conceiving that a character can have a good heart while occasionally being a jerk, selfish, hypocritical, unfair, unreasonable, hurtful, etc etc because last I checked, that’s what real people were like
when you set out on the path of revenge, dig two graves. you never know when the other guy might’ve cloned himself
stop trying to be a super explosions wizard or a penis blast wizard. we need DOING THE DISHES WIZARDS
no genuinely oceanblr would be so fun. the bloggers long for the sea and - oh shit what's t [is enveloped by the waves]
0 notes 🔁❤️
🦈 jaws-little-brother Follow
Community Pool: Is water wet?
🐡 on-line-off-hook Follow
what the kelp are you guys on.
185 notes 🔁❤️
🕳️ coelacanth-official ☑️☑️☑️☑️ Follow
decade 23 off the South African coast ... they ain't find me yet but when they do they're gonna be real surprised
40,739 notes 🔁❤️
🐌 justasnailfish Follow
its so quiet here .. nobody. no friends?
🔍 ms-magnap1nna Follow
We can be friends. come closer
7 notes 🔁❤️
🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow
group of friends & i just won a battle against a whale, got a trophy (real)
🌑 ohboy-baleen-deactivated
No you didn't. No you did not. There's literally zero possible chance of this happening, regardless of how many other shrimp were with you because that is Logistically. Impossible. This is so fake oh my fucking cod
🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow
ok. group of friends & i sitting inside a whales mouth, about to be krilled (real)
211 notes 🔁❤️
🐚 is0p0d-isle Follow
suuuuuper tired of all the negativity. can we have some appreciation for the "ugly" and "scary" fishes already? thank u blobfish, thank u viperfish, thank u goblin sharks, thank u everyone else who is socially isolated bc of how they look!! ur awesome!!
94 notes 🔁❤️
🐠 reeffraff Follow
human slang is so boring. what the hell is a "fridge". what's a "stove". oh, you have a "microwave"? i see 10 meter tall waves every day. loser.
🐬 atlantic-potion Follow
but they were right about "tubular", you can't deny it
🐠 reeffraff Follow
yes i absolutely can. "tubular"? are you kidding me? any fry on the sandbar could come up with that one. "tubular" is the word you would use to describe a coral and nothing else. it's lame. you have the linguistical taste of a tongue parasite.
🐬 atlantic-potion Follow
say that to my beak you coward
🐠 reeffraff Follow
maybe i WILL
🚹 surface-dweller ☑️☑️ Follow
holy shit, those fish are fighting! mary get the camera!
🐠 reeffraff Follow
GET THE WHAT?
(guy who was raised in a slumber party talking to his coworkers for the first time) does anyone want to tell secrets
Video caption: Good guy who talks like a bad guy
“Perhaps you’d like to see my pets. They were ALL … rescues.”
“And as always, gentlemen, our profits will be … donated.”
“Oh, I wish I could stay and chat, but I’m afraid I have to take my friend to the airport.”
Redeemed villain who can’t let the speech pattern go
Megamind
love the word "methinks". like lol. yeah. me sure is thinksing.
Methinks therefore meam
thinky thoughts thursday thoughts















