:)

Mongolian history class, 2022, start of the semester. We're having a discussion on animal slaughter, featuring the one Mongolian student in our school.

The student explains that he's slaughtered animals himself, and there are two ways of doing it that avoid the spilling of blood. For a small animal like a chicken, you reach up into the chest of the animal and sever the arteries. For a larger animal like a camel, there's a spot on the forehead that, when hit hard enough, causes the animal to die instantly.

While this discussion is going on, a couple of the students are sharing something back and forth on their phone

The professor calls this out, asking if what they're sharing is more interesting than Mongolian animal slaughter

The room is dead silent for a few seconds. The two students look at each other awkwardly.

Eventually, one of the students pipes up:

"Well, the queen of England just died."

And without missing a beat, another student:

"Did they hit her on the head like a camel?"

i love how garnet and pearl are just continuing to use the name of their infamous guerilla military organization while their current jobs are fighting lv4 rpg monsters and giving each other basket weaving seminars. and steven has no context for this and just thinks of "The Crystal Gems" as basically the name for his mom's side of the family. so he walks up to lapis and says "you should hang out with me and my treehouse friends, the Viet Cong!"

I want to share this but i know 0 people who have both watched Steven universe and know what the viet cong is.

skill issue

I hate applying for jobs. “desired salary for this role” one billion dollars next question

I love everything about this.

@headspacedad Is this true? Because I love the concept of bunnies practically flipping the bird

this is TRUE!

Rabbits rely on body language for the majority of their communication.  They also rely on manners in a way that would make the Heian Era aristocrats look uncultured.  And you don’t get manner dictates like that without ALSO knowing how to be passive-aggressive with them. 

Rabbit flops are super vulnerable for a bunny.  Their stomachs are exposed and they’re in a position that means if danger shows up they have to waste precious seconds getting up before they can sprint for safety.  A rabbit flop means both ‘I’m so happy I can’t contain it’ and ‘I feel so safe I am going to be vulnerable and really let go’.  Rabbit owners love seeing it.  It means that your bun really does feel that safe around you.  It’s a pretty high compliment from an animal that knows everyone’s out to kill them.

However -

it can also be used passive aggressively in the ‘you mean so little to me you’re not even worth acknowledging as existing’.  It’s right on the same level as walking into a room and greeting everyone but one person.  An enemy rabbit would be a threat.  This rabbit?  This rabbit isn’t even important enough to be a threat.  They’re a nobunny and so I will flop because there is nothing in the area worthy enough to bother being aware of.

To humans it can look very much the same but trust me, the bunnies know exactly which is which.

Do cats do this because it certainly feels like my cats are doing this sometimes. Or maybe its that they are trying to outcute each other for attention. Like whoever tries to be the cutest will get more attention. Idk they do a thing where they are across the room from each other and one rolls on her back and shows off her belly so the other one has to roll on her back, show off her belly, and curl her paws. Then the first one has to do something even cuter like stretch out her toes. So then the other one has to make a cute little meep noise. And it continues until they get startled or distracted.

they should invent a mother who is normal and says normal things and has normal interactions with her child

huge shoutout to the guy at the bar who said “i like your dress maam” and when i was like. i’m a man but thank you! he was like “oh shit i like your dress homie” i love you forever

also tangentially related to my last post - someone i worked with years ago told me about this thing she always tried to do. she said that every so often, when she's with a friend, she let's a stranger 'overhear' a compliment. she'll go to the shop and, as she's walking away from the till, she'll say something like 'that cashier was so lovely, weren't they?'. or she'll wait until someone walks past and say 'gosh didn't they look gorgeous in that dress' or 'their hair looks amazing' or 'wow that person's tattoos were so intricate - beautiful'.

and it really stuck with me. imagine walking past someone and overhearing them say 'that outfit really suits them!' to their friend. imagine choosing to shine a little light into the world for no other reason than because you think it's a nice thing to do.

jrpg final bosses will seem way too over the top but then I encounter one fruit fly irl and start to monologue when it dodges me

"no... how did you survive my attack... what is this power??"

Me chasing a mosquito at 2 in the morning: “You insignificant little pest. How dare you disturb me?! I will destroy you and all your kind!”

I just want to get dicked down again =/

Rawr I'm a tree rawr

Oh no.

Nice try FBI

This would get me