legitimately one of the funniest videos in earth
omg imagine being born and you are on a spaceship and everyone aboard is sooo so mad at you just because you burst out of some guy's chest to be born. like um sorry i've not been alive before i didn't even know that's not allowed please be nice to me um the spaceship floor is cold is no one going to knit me some little booties i am calling child protective services
cannot stop thinking about this skit from the new i think you should leave season
The original tweet is the corniest thing I’ve ever fucking seen
A. They're not gonna tip you, periodt. So already the $10mil is looking better.
B. They're not gonna talk to you, so any "business advice" you thought was gonna be worth more than $10mil, that's null and void, aint happening.
C. Here's the real secret of their "success"; they're all bad people. That's literally it. They're willing to lie, steal, cheat, bully, oppress, rape, etc to get what they want, and their appetites are never sated, so they never stop lying, cheating, etc. You don't get that kind of money through hard honest work. If you're willing to be a big enough piece of shit, you could easily be one of these guys.
So yeah, if someone's offering that choice, get it in writing and stay the hell away from these creeps.
But if you're serving them you can poison the food
it fucking sucks how you can do all the therapy and self healing in the world and you still have to wake up living under a capitalist death cult that's killed community and crushes your soul
congrats you want to live and be happy
bad news the world doesn't want that for you
I'll still love fully and crawl to hope until my body gives out anyway I guess
Now this is what I mean (metaphorically) by "enrichment in my enclosure"
Otter enclosure immersive experience...
*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document
does it look like this
i was picturing this as after a successful writing jaunt but this is so much darker
For some reason traffic is full of old men whose world view is based on the stalwart belief that the only way they will get into warriors' heaven is dying a glorious death in a vehicular accident they caused on purpose out of spite.
I feel like a good shorthand for a lot of economics arguments is "if you want people to work minimum wage jobs in your city, you need to allow minimum wage apartments for them to live in."
"These jobs are just for teenagers on the weekends." Okay, so you'll use minimum wage services only on the weekends and after school. No McDonald's or Starbucks on your lunch break.
"They can get a roommate." For a one bedroom? A roommate for a one bedroom? Or a studio? Do you have a roommate to get a middle-wage apartment for your middle-wage job? No? Why should they?
"They can live farther from city center and just commute." Are there ways for them to commute that don't equate to that rent? Living in an outer borough might work in NYC, where public transport is a flat rate, but a city in Texas requires a car. Does the money saved in rent equal the money spent on the car loan, the insurance, the gas? Remember, if you want people to take the bus or a bike, the bus needs to be reliable and the bike lanes survivable.
If you want minimum wage workers to be around for you to rely on, then those minimum wage workers need a place to stay.
You either raise the minimum wage, or you drop the rent. There's only so long you can keep rents high and wages low before your workforce leaves for cheaper pastures.
"Nobody wants to work anymore" doesn't hold water if the reason nobody applies is because the commute is impossible at the wage you provide.
Another case where the camera was clearly set up to figure out how the little shit was pulling it off
idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better
"Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don't think you're stupid."
or
"Sorry I snapped at you. I didn't get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today."
is a better apology than
"I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you."
*arriving at the club*
my girlfriend: do you promise you wont turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time
me: i promise
me 3 drinks later:
Need for Speed (2014, dir. Scott Waugh)
Are you telling me this isn’t from breaking bad