Source

This isn't cute! Cars only do this when they feel extreme distress!

Maan get that quivering snout outta here

Guys 2014 is in two months

Obsessed with the DC tourist asking for clubs with a “no ugly people allowed” policy that plays house

Is this person NYC or LA? Place your bets

#if sir Walter elliot used reddit (@spookyohan)

oh my god this is me. i was addicted to designer amphetamines and completely delusional at the time of writing this. i had lost forty pounds and thought i was hot shit. i thought i was the reincarnation of Kurt Vonnegut. this was serious, and my friends laughed when they saw this go viral on twitter. it made me realize i had issues and im sober now. im also shocked i managed to stay employed at that time. To answer your question: im from LA but I grew up all around. I was living between Baltimore and NYC at the time. My mom is a beautiful Italian woman (Milan by way of Bolzano) and my dad is an insufferable Mexican from Montreal.

fwiw, my Reddit was suspended for this, im doing a lot better now, life is good, and im really happy :)

this is the most viscerally effective anti-drug PSA i've ever seen, not least because i think it's plausibly true, unlike the ones i normally see

after a suicide attempt in 2016

excerpt from Cherry by Mary Karr, context being after a suicide attempt at age 13

Some context: Texas and Arkansas share a corner border. Now, Texas is FECKING HUGE and there are many, many parts of Texas that cannot visit Arkansas overnight, but there are parts where it’s no trouble at all.

However, those places of Texas that are close to Arkansas, do not include “close to Fort Smith, Arkansas.”

The closest Texas gets to Fort Smith is about 185 miles (about 300km), at “a little closer than Texarkana.” (Dallas, fwiw, is about 275 miles/450km from Fort Smith.)

So the dad in this story drove at least SEVEN HOURS round trip, to pick up a bushel of plums for his little girl, in the hope that some almost-out-of-season fruit would convince her to go on living.

Stop tagging my posts as old friends senior dog sanctuary

Need to get dicked down again =/

Quote of the day...

the evolution here is also a solid contender for meme of the year 2019

Would sleeping with a centaur be considered bestiality?

Yes

That raises another question: do centaurs have human or horse genitals? Or both?

Horse.

Then the question is, would it be morally acceptable for a centaur to mate with a normal horse

And what would the offspring be like?

I hate all of this

Quick question WHY is this on my dash again

how this guy lost the war on drugs is a mystery to me

DARE to do drugs

Hard to say but I suspect she might be chilling

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

does that person know they LITERALLY invented comedy??? do they really know????

Striking a blow against the capitalist fetishisation of productivity by devoting enormous and elaborate effort to something utterly pointless.

we’re already on Tumblr, Dave

Interesting photo of a German Hetzer and Jagdpanther showing relative sizes. The 16 ton Hetzer mounted a 75mm gun, while the 45 ton Jagdpanther had an 88mm Pak 43. Both were excellent ambush vehicles, and much less costly than tanks.

He’s so confident and so wrong.

My husband is really into Yugioh and crappy memes and asked me to to do a Skull Servant.

Italian Semovente da 90/53, the most powerfully armed of the Italian SPGs built during WWII. As a trade off however, it could only carry 7 rounds.

It could only carry 7 rounds because it was meant to be followed by this:

A modified L6/40 light tank complete with ammunition trailer!

the age old question

Frodo Laid a Geas (and other invisible magic)

This was so obvious when I realized it, but I think most people miss it, because we’re so desensitized by D&D-style magic with immediate, visibly, flashy effects, rather than more subtle and invisible forces of magic. When Gollum attacks Frodo on the slopes of Mount Doom, Frodo has the chance to kill him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says:

Frodo: Go! And if you ever lay hands on me again, you yourself shall be cast into the Fire!

Frodo’s not just talking shit here. He is literally, magically laying a curse. He’s holding the One Ring in his hands as he says it; even Sam, with no magic powers of his own, can sense that some powerful mojo is being laid down. Frodo put a curse on Gollum: if you try to take the Ring again, you’ll be cast into the Fire.

Five pages later, Gollum tries to take the Ring again. And that’s exactly what happens. Frodo’s geas takes effect and Gollum eats lava.

On further reflection:

All the other people in the franchise who were offered the Ring declined to take it because they were wise enough to know that if they used its power – and the pressure to do so would be too great – they would be subject to its corruption.

Frodo uses the power of the Ring to lay a geas, and then five minutes later at the volcano’s edge, succumbs to its corruption. The Ring has gotten to him and he can no longer give it up. Because he used its power.

On further further reflection: I’d have to read the section again, but I recall that after throwing Gollum off and laying the geas, Sam observes that Frodo seems suddenly filled with energy again when previously he had been close to dead of fatigue. He hikes up the mountain so fast he leaves Sam behind – and doesn’t even seem to notice that he’s left him behind. 

Could he have been drawing on the Ring’s power at this point in the story? At this point in the story we’re relying on Sam’s narration, and Sam doesn’t know what’s going on in Frodo’s head, so it’s hard to say for sure. Having used it once, after spending so long holding out against it, was that the breach in the dam?

Which means that the moment that Frodo succumbs to temptation is not the moment at the volcano – it was already too late by then. The moment he is taken by temptation was when he used the power of the Ring to repel Gollum.

If so, this ties in neatly with discussions I’ve seen about how Tolkien subscribes to a “not even once” view of good and evil – that in many other works it’s acceptable to do a small evil in service of a greater good, but in Lord of the Rings that always  fails.

Re-reading Fellowship of the Rings, and I got to this passage in Lorien:

In other words:

Frodo asks Galadriel, herself carrying a Ring of Power, “Could I, hypothetically, use the power of the One Ring to do something magical aside from turning invisible?” and Galadriel replies, “Yes, hypothetically, you totally could, assuming the magic you want to do involves laying compulsions on others, but I strongly recommend against it, because it would fuck up your brain.”

This was in the first book. At the end of the third book Frodo uses the Ring to fuck Gollum up, forcing him to throw himself into lava if he disobeys Frodo’s commands.

Talk about a chekov’s gun.

Got to this point in my re-read and uh. This was a lot  less subtle than I remembered it.

…

Yeah.

THIS IS GENIUS

Chekhov’s One Ring

tumblr user 1: you guys should drink more plain water, it's good for you

tumblr user 2: actually you can drink whatever you want all the time

tumblr user 3: yee and water is icky :(

tumblr user 4: I literally can't drink plain water as I'll instantly start throwing up, some people's bodies simply can't process it, you can't make blanket statements about what's good or not good for someone else's digestive system

tumblr user 5: ooouugh.. tony the tiger hairy armpits 😩

M4 with an experimental appliqué armor kit.