calculated Sacrifice

What if it didn’t work out because God was protecting you from it?

Alhamdulillah

who are you when you are not watching tv or movies? when you aren't playing video games or reading a book or fanfiction or listening to music or whatever other kind of media that you engage with? who are you when your mind isn't in another world or story, when you are forced to sit with yourself and the only experience you have is your own sensorial life? can you define yourself outside of what you consume? who is that person? do you like them? can you bear it? can you bear it?

honestly i’ve been going through such an identity crisis this entire past month but i feel like this just brought me back to life. because if i see myself from an outsider perspective, i really just want to protect myself. at my core i know i always do my best to be in alignment with good morals and i trust myself because i care. i would love to have myself in a world where people are so indifferent to other people’s feelings. i care tremendously about the people in my life and i love my personality because i know i have good intentions. i have a beautiful heart despite what life throws at me. I’m proud of who i’ve become.

Guess I just won’t understand things for a while and I’ll have to be okay with that

yes im in my 20s but this is only my first week of being alive

I am reasonably fun to hang out with and my company is enjoyed by well over 10 people worldwide

Huge fan of human connection, and love, and loss, and laying in the dark at night with the fan on thinking about things other people taught me and crying grateful happy tears

god it's like nobody even cares that [problem i've taken great pains to make sure nobody will acknowledge] looks like i have no choice but to make it worse in isolation for reasons i can't articulate and don't understand

An old church with beautiful gothic architecture that was never known by enough people to be properly preserved that has slowly decayed and been reclaimed by nature over time, forgotten even by God as restless souls lie quietly in the cemetery waiting for a friendly face that may never come.

Huge fan of human connection, and love, and loss, and laying in the dark at night with the fan on thinking about things other people taught me and crying grateful happy tears

U can grieve and still live life. U can miss loving someone and love others. You can hold onto the good moments and simultaneously the bad moments. You can take the learning from a person you let go off and use it for the better. You can love someone and they may not be the right person. You can wish someone the best and love them from a distance. You can think fondly of someone and never talk to them again.. mysteries of the world…

words from class of 2013 by mitski

there are so many people who are waiting to love you. keep going

there's just nothing that beats being at home. the world will try to convince me i should be doing more and it's like yeah but im at home

STOP THINKING THERE IS A DEADLINE. THERE IS NO DEADLINE. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND TAKE YOUR TIME.

They should invent a job that i actually want to do

having a job is like They're trying to close you off from the cosmos