Too Queer For You

Pizza saves lives. 🍕 (via abc news / thesonofprince)

I am both touched and also horrified that Papa Johns could do what the emergency services apparently could not

Well, sure. If a pizza delivery driver doesn’t do their job, they get fired.

Nothing sums up the experience of working in the service industry like the fact that a hurricane was not a good enough reason to call in to work

one of those “everybody in the country/world gets institutionally divided into extremely specific groups” style dystopian young adult novels but the groups are like, clowns, pro wrestlers, furries, and business ceos

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

‘‘Just one episode left. What will you do after Yoi’s final ep?’’

I can’t believe people actually use the term pop for soda like what is this footloose?

my body isnt a temple, it’s a condemned building covered in prophecies in the form of graffiti. my soul is a shrine made of garbage and neon and i am holy, hallelujah.

I wouldn’t wear this shirt, would you? Add your thoughts.

Something I just noticed…she doesn’t know how to comb their hair…lol

batman au where everything is the same except instead of the batsignal commissioner gordon just plays holding out for a hero rly loud

i wish issues with daily hygiene due to mental illness were talked about more. i feel like it’s the elephant in the room when it comes to symptoms of debilitating disorders.

so i’m proud of everyone who brushed their teeth, washed their face, showered, and/or put on fresh underwear today. and it’s ok if you haven’t done all or any of those (i know i’ve only done the first two); i’m still so proud of you for managing and surviving another day. keep going you’re doin good.

Follow our INSTAGRAM page for more:  @fyeahprettyafricans

Lesotho @nyanelebajoa

there’s an 80,000 note post about making ocs for hamilton so I’d like yall to know my oc is myself and I strangle thomas jefferson with my bare hands

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMW_SdxDhgx/

What the fk !!!

so jill ate her own adoption form

‘good luck trying to return me without the receipt you fuck’

I love when small children identify all quadripedal animals as “doggy!”

It always reminds me of the time Plato offered the definition of a human as any “featherless biped” and Diogenes busted into the Academy with a plucked chicken screaming, “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love the implication you were there when it happened. good times right

There are only seven kinds of animal, just fyi. My toddler has compiled a handy taxonomy:

Me

why do so many “icarus and the sun” artworks and stories portray the sun as a woman? do y’all know who controlled the sun? apollo. icarus is gay as fuck, y’all.

Sometimes it was helios, not Apollo. Icarus was still gay as fuck

“Icarus we just escaped prison don’t ruin it by flying too close to the sun”

[Icarus already fucking launching himself across the sky for the sake of some godly dick]

woops

I swear to god

No one tagged me but I’m vain so here’s my best looks of 2k16