The ability to turn the post above you into the speech bubble of a character of your choice is an essential weapon of tumblr pvp.
The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:
- the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
- That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
- oh, that hurt
- I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
- the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
- on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
- I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
- The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
- God.
- for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
- it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”
I have so many electoral opinions today. For example, if you voted tory in 2015, 2017, and 2019 you should be beaten to death in public as a warning to others
And if you voted for Trump ever
the other half of the tweet is important
Thank god, we don't want to misquote Madame Coulter
I have so many electoral opinions today. For example, if you voted tory in 2015, 2017, and 2019 you should be beaten to death in public as a warning to others
And if you voted for Trump ever
I have so many electoral opinions today. For example, if you voted tory in 2015, 2017, and 2019 you should be beaten to death in public as a warning to others
Something about the big lowercase "e" made me read "dark bisexual" at first
men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..
lettuce-queen-is-valid
You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say
babyitaliano
Men will see a mouse and eat it
lettuce-queen-is-valid
No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.
babyitaliano
A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer
Someone help Swifties, like they need weed or something idk
Is promoting a pawn to a queen forcefem
You think women can't be pawns? What, are women too fragile to be sacrifical fodder for the imperial monarchist war machine, too dainty to live and fight and die for the whims of a dispassionate and ineffective royal? Wow, misogynist much 😞
You think women can't be forcefemmed?
margaret belongs to the void now
Why is this so funny
The euphoria of biting & biting & biting & biting
The euphoria
of biting & biting &
biting & biting
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Your arguments sum to "In my perfect world, there will be no Jews, no Shinto, no Hindu, no Sikhs, no nothing other than a vaguely Christian-ish 'default culture'. This to me is a positive," and you don't understand how everyone else is appalled and taking it as a negative?
Very strange that you assume "Vaguely Christian" to be a "default culture", sounds like you have some internalised Christian hegemony to deal with!
Nope. You're the one that explicitly mentioned chocolate easter eggs as the example of cultural practices you have no problem seeing continue. Meanwhile, you were saying that my own Jewish culture needs to assimilate and go away.
i think you'll find I also gave other examples of cultural practices remaining with historical links to religion, in the post-religious utopia I want to help bring into existence:
- kosher dietary requirements returning as a fad diet
- the hajj becoming a popular drunken weekend holiday
- the concept of reincarnation becoming fodder for light-hearted social media quizzes
Easter eggs are an example of a practice clearly historically rooted in a religious holiday, but which I think has been drained of much actual religious content. Very few people are considering the crucifixion of Jesus Christ when they buy chocolate eggs for their kids, just like the the faddish pork-dodgers of the twenty-second century won't be engaging with any sort of covenant with God or whatever.
This answer is so dripping in Cultural Christianity and a tacit admission that my original comment was dead on--that you view everyone's culture as cute things to be colonized and treated as entertainment, and done solely for religious purposes--that I basically consider my point proven. You want the cultural practices of Judaism and every ethnoreligion to be treated basically as entertainment--essentially insulting theme park versions--while the people to whom those cultures belong to will be extinct in your ideal world. And you treat this as a positive, and don't understand how deeply rooted this entire perspective is in a Christian worldview?
Yeah, my point is proven; you're beyond hope in trying to teach basic empathy for people who are different than you, when you view us dying out as a good thing.
I have losely followed this discussion and ... and I am just appalled.
@evilsoup reread your exemples. Take the time, carefully reread them, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people to whom these cultural and spiritual practices belong to.
You are basically arguing in favour of using cultural, religious and spiritual practices as fashion accessories. As some kind of social instagram filter. You are so incredibly flippant with the cultures of other people that you took three incredibly important spiritual elements and decided they would be better as hollowed out fashion accessories, stuff you can just clip on your social personna to look quirky and special.
When you say that Kosher food will just be a "fad diet" in your ideal world, do you not realize how horrifying you sound to Jewish people? How what you say sounds exactly like the words of Christian totalitarians? How you are basically saying your ideal world is one where there are no Jews left to defend their cultural practices inherited from millenia of tradition? Do you really not see how your "ideal world" implies or necessitates the death and pillaging of their entire culture and identity? Just because a culture is suffocated in its bed "peacefully" doesn't make its murder any less tragic.
The Hajj is THE central pilgrimage of Islam, a religion that severely limits the consumption of alcohol (to limited social settings with only people the practitioner trusts) in its most liberal interpretations, and outright bans it in most interpretations. And you want to reduce it to a fucking Spring Break typical american drunken bender. Do you really not see how utterly and unrelentingly insulting and disrespectful that is? That is your ideal world? Cultural practices maimed, hollowed out and grossly stuffed with your personnal interpretation of a good time, with no regard for the people that hold these practices dear? Or do you consider that would be OK because they would all be dead?
And the concept of reincarnation, one that is central to SEVERAL of Humanity's oldest spiritual systems, reduced to "fodder for light-hearted social media quizzes". The entire spiritual and philosophical context of some of the oldest texts of philosophy should be, in your eyes, a fucking buzzfeed quizz. I have no words for just how wrong, horrifying and violent your "ideal world" is.
I am Breton. My culture is a minority in France. It has been maimed, deformed and largely reshaped by Christianity and France over the course of the last two millenia. I have zero doubt that my culture would be seen as archaic and counter-revolutionary in your "ideal world". I have zero doubt that this urge to homogenize everything would spill out of the spiritual realm. Whether you like it or not, whether you think it or not, you are advocating for the death of all Human cultures as they currently exist, all so they can be replaced by, like @the-library-alcove said, insulting theme park versions that can be consummed at leisure.
And you think that, just because your prefered method of cultural murder is slowly increasing the heat, you are right and good and justified in turning your kills into gruesome trophies you can wear as fashion accessories. THAT is how you come off.
You are basically arguing in favour of using cultural, religious and spiritual practices as fashion accessories.
Yes, exactly right.
Do you really not see how your "ideal world" implies or necessitates the death and pillaging of their entire culture and identity?
No it doesn't. Religion is organised Cope; change the bad conditions that people need to cope with and you'll render religion unnecessary, so it will hold appeal only as a source of aesthetics.
The rest of your post is just noise without meaning.
Wow, you really are the epitome of the Culturally Christian Atheist, who thinks all religions are just reskinned Christianity.
Ironically, you're completely blind to the fact that it's your atheism that's just reskinned Christianity: strictly monotheistic, orthodox (you Must Belive Correctly), and proselytizing.
The cruelty in their last answer speaks for itself.
This person sounds exactly like a Nazi and somehow thinks they’re in the right.
This is why atheists get a bad name.
Honestly, the only difference between their perspective and that of a rabid Baptist missionary is that evilsoup hates one more religion than they do. Other than that, their goals are pretty much in perfect alignment--bring about the end of this world and usher in their perfect one.
"Do you understand how disrespectful-" Yes, he does. He thinks religion and any cultural practices associated with them are opiates of the masses, and people who believe or participate to him are like adults still believing in Santa Claus. And then, because he's an asshole, to him that makes anyone bothered by what he's said both less intelligent than him and a fair target for, or even deserving of, ridicule. The disrespect is the point. The offense and pain is the point.
I think what’s so telling here is what’s assumed to be “superstition” as opposed to “normal” that everyone should assimilate into. The Hajj gets kept in some form, because the concept of movement and visitation is “normal” but the restriction on alcohol is not only disregarded but carelessly so as “superstition”. Just, what’s been communicated is a highly personal set of views (although, still, representative of western “liberal” coloniality), but universalized as an attribute of reality. It’s narcissism down to the fingerprints of how it categorizes these things.