Avatar

bob l’éponge

@queerbaitor

i am czazy.........but i am free
stylampa-deactivated20220516

happy birthday to large boulder size of a small boulder

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

[Transcript: a young woman with long blonde hair is speaking directly into the camera. 

“I’m gonna tell you guys something that honestly changed my life for good. So if you’re in college, and live in a dorm or an apartment, there’s a good change that a lot of people living in your dorm or apartment have an Alexa. And if you go into the hallway and yell loud enough… I’ll just show you the rest.” 

The girl is now standing in a dorm hallway. She yells at the top of her lungs: 

“Alexa! Play Fireflies!” 

There is a moment of quiet where several Alexas responding can be faintly heard. After a few seconds, Fireflies by Owl City begins to play loudly, followed a few seconds later by another starting up, then another, then another as the woman begins to walk down the hall, smiling and laughing, to a growing cacophony of Fireflies by Owl City. 

End transcript.]

just-shower-responses

nice try motherfucker im 5'3

just-shower-responses

fuck this gay earth

just-shower-responses

thanks man

just-shower-responses

You know who else trapped a bunch of comedians in a room and they all tried to run their bit at everyone else at the same time?

just-shower-responses

no I do not muscle man lay it the fuck on me brother. Who else did this

AUGH!!! aahhh OW

got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

videos like this (where you focus on two things at once) have got to be damaging peoples attention span, right? like my brain gets through videos easier now when there's some sort of thing like this under the video.

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

i love me mama and me papa! ohohooo! how i love to play harmless goofs and gaffs and tricks with my silly jokester family!

what did i do wrong :’( i just wanted to have fun

i am so sorry sweet little trickster. why are people so fucking violent towards silly little guys.