>:P little stinker

Thanks for the ask Anon!

Flirt for those hope fragments boy

Humans are cool and good actually it's just colonialism and capitalism that you're mad at

We're made to tell stories and braid each other's hair and build things and fucking help people and we're just as much part of the earth as all the other living organisms on this bitch y'all just made guns and money and decided the world is something to conquer welcome to my tedtalk

I love how many trucking companies abbreviate “transport” to “trans,” because it means I drive down the highway and see signs like:

Action Trans, High-Performance Trans, Quality Trans, Super Trans

and I’m like hell yeah, you know it

instagram - twitter - redbubble - please don’t repost!!

“I just feel so dead inside…”

“Dead inside, you say? I know something that might just work”

reanimate my will to live

Wake me up inside

More i Grow my body Stonger. More i Learn my head gets Longer. More i Eat my belly Bouncing… More i Fight my foes i’m Trouncing.

More i Sing my voice gets Louder… More i Boast my pride gets Prouder… More i Run my speed gets Upper… What about you Mother Fucker…

normally this is when people reblog posts like this and say something like “i was on so much painkillers when i made this” but that doesn’t apply here. i was completely lucid when i made this. i can remember writing this phenomenal post with crystal clarity. for me, it was typical. i could do this kind of thing every day if i wished to.

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen

the bar is at the earth’s core 

literally fuck you to hell tumblr

This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while

John Mulaney’s entire thing about his wife (and when she was his girlfriend) is about undoing the toxic horseshit that male comedians have done in talking shit about their wives for so fucking long. When he first mentions her, he says about his Jewish girlfriend “this is gonna get playfully antisemitic,” except it doesn’t [note: I am not Jewish, and I am aware that shades my perceptions]. He talks about how she’s forthright and helps him be better at standing up for himself because he’s really fucking bad at confrontation and she is very good at pointing out that he shouldn’t have to wait an hour for food at a restaurant or be stranded at an airport. The parts of her nature that would be derided for being “so Jewish” by other comedians are some of the reasons John loves her. She doesn’t take shit, and he realizes that he doesn’t have to. 

When he mentions her in the latest special, he mentions the conversation quoted above before he dives in. HE IS AWARE HOW LOW THE BAR IS. And what are his stories? There’s no nagging wife. There’s no stories of her not getting how manly he is. The jokes are about what a fucking dork he is and how her responses are in line with WHAT A FUCKING DORK HE IS. He ADORES her because she doesn’t give a fuck, and he is aware he gives entirely too many fucks. 

And when he finally DOES tell a story about her messing something up, it’s a hilarious misunderstanding about the Last Supper that John finds fucking hilarious because he was raised Catholic, so the Last Supper is a BIG DEAL, and she’s Jewish, so it wasn’t on her radar. The story is hilarious because it’s about a very cute and funny misunderstanding based on different backgrounds. It’s not about “finally” one-upping that bitch he married. It’s about being DELIGHTED to find out that bitch he likes so much has a fucking hilarious take on the Last Supper. 

Bring me WAY MORE male comedians like John Mulaney, and this bitch will be happy.

Plus, if you compare his recent versus early shows, you can watch him come to awareness about the toxic masculinity inherent in old-school standup and grow as a comedian into someone much funnier at the same time. Kudos.

The reason Queer Eye is so influential is partly because there’s no other show like it. No one’s going to write a gay Muslim. No one’s going to write a super feminine and flamboyant guy with long hair who wears all types of clothing without him being a punchline at best. The reason this show resonates so much with people is because they can find a piece of themselves in every one of the Fab Five, and in a good way. The show portrays gays being touchy feely friends with big hearts who just want to help people, and that’s kind of spectacular.

All of us dumb gay fucks love Queer Eye so much, because it’s the closest thing we’ve ever seen to Mental Stability. Like, these bitches are teaching us how to cook, and how to dress like we didn’t just roll out of a 6 month Depression Session, and I think that’s truly A Gift. Oh, also, I think we all just want Karamo to look into our eyes and be like, “God, you’re a mess, but I’ll be damned if ur not Valid”, like,,, I’m in tears 

all of these memes going around asking one to label themself with typically negative describers of bitch, bastard, dumbass etcetera…… where’s the positive self talk. love yourself

here is my new positive alignment chart. i love you

oh man, someone fill this in for Check Please!

Ask and you shall receive

lolololol this is awesome!

you cannot fathom how much ive mourned — what thousands of years of grief has done to me!

youre only a true straight ally if you rp a gay couple with your brother in front of a massive audience

#being an ally is rping 2 lesbian couples with yourself in front of a massive audience

griffin truly is the One True Straight Ally

the tea????

me whenever I remember that ari and dante are happy and together and that they love each other so much

Welp, here’s ‘the line’ everybody’s talking about from the new production of Be More Chill

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

But the world is not kind or safe.

then Fucking do your part to make it that way.

Real talk

lets make a new trope: gay characters who are actually seemingly impossible to kill to the point that all of their enemies are comically frustrated. functionally immortal gay characters. being gay making you immortal. unkillable gay trope.