I'm always kind of wary of narratives of autistic interaction that are like "well, autistic people just aren't interested in relationships, they don't like meaningless social interactions"
Because I think there is a mix of trauma, alexithymia, and false narratives being pushed by literally everyone else that leads to this being the narrative that even autistic people tell when it might not actually be the whole story
Because, like, my mum remembers me being excluded from play by other kids before I have my first memories
We know that allistic kids can tell something is "off" about an autistic kid in seconds and not want to play with them
And we know that some of the methods used by neurotypical kids to bully neurodivergent kids is winding them up - deliberately setting off sensory issues or using frustration triggers that they've identified - and that leads to autistic kids being told "that's not bullying, that's you over reacting"
And this treatment begins very young
So now you've got an autistic kid who's, say, nine or ten, and they don't play with their peers - they sit with a book or on their Nintendo or whatever
And when people (parents/clinitions/etc) ask them "why don't you want to play with the other kids?", you get the combo of knowing that "other kids bully me" isn't believed and alexithymia meaning that they know that the idea of playing with other kids feels Bad but they can't quite put their finger on Why
And when they try to rationally look for an answer, the first one that's likely to come up it's all of the technical aspects of playing with other kids, like not liking small talk because it's "pointless", that come up instead of the trauma
And yeah, I'm wary of perpetuating this narrative as autistic adults that "autistic kids just don't like that kind of play and autistic people prefer to be alone, actually" because it just kind of reeks of the "the other kids only pick on you because you're smart" narrative that absolutely did nothing to help me deal with the trauma of being bullied or lead to healthy relationships in my adult life
