are you a lace or velvet person?? mountains or fields?? paperback or hard cover?? rose bush or fruit tree??

“yikes” is the word equivalent of quickly turning away from a messy situation while raising your eyebrows and taking a sip of your drink

the other Mike Pence

So there’s a guy on Twitter who is named Mike Pence but is not the soon-to-be Vice President garbage monster. Here’s his bio:

He’s amazing. Here’s a recent tweet he posted:

Charlie Day doppelganger: NBA player Josh McRoberts

I refuse to believe that isn’t charlie day

The gang infiltrates the nba.

student athlete vs soundcloud rapper

unstoppable force vs immovable object

not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost

she did that

would like to point out that the rest of that quote is relevant:

“and I watch my daughters — two beautiful black young women —  head off to school, waving goodbye to their father, the president of the United States.”

Fucking mic drop

or turn it into a fuCKing COMPETITION.

This mother fucking post. Thank you.

I knew uncle Phil was real and would kill for Will at this moment.

Uncle Phil was raw af

^^

I’m not the mom friend, I’m the dad friend: tries to take care of his friends but is too distant and emotionally clumsy to be any good at it

THE GREATEST TWEET OF ALL

As if I didn’t already love him.