QueenVictoria turned 1 today!
There is no emoji that consistently describes my mood at any time, except for one.
:/
"How was your day?"
"I've thrown up twice and I'm now watching the bootleg version of The SpongeBob Musical online, how do you think it's been?"
*aggressively dances to Fragel Rock*
Me @ the chemicals in my brain:
Me: alrighty whichever one of you authorized these feelings without my permission, I'm gonna have to ask you to square up
"I don't care if gam-gam got into the medicine cabinet and is tripping balls right now. DND is life"
Friend: Alright, in order for me to do this I'm gonna need a monkey wrench, some duct tape, and an SD card.
Me: I have some pocket lint, a scrap of paper, and a never-ending sense of sadness.
Person A: You don't deserve animal crackers, let alone animal cookies
Person B:
Person A:
Person B: Yeah... I know
My friend: Please, I'm trying to be seriouse
Me: And I'm trying to do my best but we don't all get what we want.
Someone: Are you ready?
Me: I have never been ready for anything that has ever happened so far in my entire life, but let's say "yes."
Me on a group chat at 3:00 A.M:
"What if you peeled off all your scabs, rolled them into one big ball, and took a giant bite of the juicy thing."
"Okay. All I needed you to do was stand still, smile, and read your slide of the presentation. Two seconds in and you spilt toothpicks all over the floor."
-Me @ a teammate
"No one actually loves themselves, they're either faking confidence or suffering from extreme narcissism, so what the heck are you?"
-Some dude in one of my classes