- girl interrupted
- girl in pieces
- valley of the dolls
- the virgin suicides
- flowers in the attic
- lolita (sally horner)
- lolita original
- pillow thoughts (poetry)
- her by pierre (poetry)
- PENELOPE DOUGLAS DEVILS NIGHT SERIES
- sweetest oblivion
- letting ana go
- go ask alice
if any of you guys have any recs please don’t mind commenting suggestions like these books <3
I think what’s important to remember about fatphobia is that it’s most damning consequences (the brutal abuse and death of fat people) serve to reinforce its structuring logics (that fat people are always and already dying / evidence of societal&personal decline).
the work of undoing fatphobia thus is both pointing out the hypocrisy of a medical industry that has the audacity to call fat people an “epidemic” while actively hastening their deaths, AND about understanding the broader discourses of blame and unworthiness that allow institutions to commit murder while swearing that victims did it to themselves.
Just want to add real quick: if you are fat and have experienced medical abuse/neglect, it is not your fault. Never. Not even if you’re “unhealthy.” No one deserves abuse. Not from doctors or anyone else. The existence of medical violence is a symptom of systemic fatphobia, white supremacy, ableism, and cisheterosexism.
You have done nothing wrong. Doctors have wronged you.
ʚ♡ɞ For personal growth/healing/self discovery
☆ What’s something you never want to change about yourself? Why?
☆ When was the last time you cried? Why? Explain all what you felt in detail.
☆ What is your biggest fear? Why?
☆ How is your dream self like? Describe everything, from the place where it would live to its profession.
☆ What do you need to let go? Why?
☆ If you could do everything, what would you do? Why? Write three things.
☆ What do you want to feel? What can you do for feeling that?
☆ What’s your biggest dream? How can you achieve it?
☆ What are you grateful for? Why? Write three things.
ʚ♡ɞ For leisure/stress relief
☆ Info about a celebrity you really like
☆ Lyrics that explain what you feel/have felt
☆ Lyrics of a song you really like
☆ Affirmations
☆ Inspiring quotes
☆ Info about a movie/show you have recently seen
☆ Info about a book that you really like
☆ Info about a place you want to visit
☆ Info about your comfort character
☆ Recipes
☆ A dream you had
ʚ♡ɞ Layout inspo
*shakes you gently*
Eat. Food was not made for you to turn it down. The human race didn’t perfect the invention of milkshakes for them to go ignored due to diet culture. We didn’t make hundreds and thousands of combinations of bread, vegetables, spices, and meat for all of that hard work to go to waste.
We made spaghetti. We made ice cream and chocolate and coffee and rice and pickles. We saw chickens making eggs and we discovered how to make them scrambled. We saw wheat and turned it into cakes and pies. Food was not created as an accident, it wasn’t perfected just to hurt you. We are living in a time where you can drink a strawberry milkshake with a silly straw shaped like a cat. Embrace it.
The future is infinite and made up of infinite moments from “now”. You can’t be happy in the future if you won’t allow yourself to be happy now. You might regret it later, or you might not. You don’t know that. All you’ll know is you’ll regret it now. Stop that.
Eat the goddamn meal. You have permission, you’re not a bad person for it, eating won’t make you a bad person. Eat. Drink. Enjoy yourself. Treat yourself. You have one body, stop neglecting it to fit your ED’s ideal. It wants you dead. It wants you hurting. It wants you to isolate yourself.
You won’t be “skinny enough” until you’re dead. The “ultimate ideal” of eating disorders will always result in being a cadaver six feet under. Saying “I’ll only skip this one meal” will end up turning into two, then three, then fasting. Your eating disorder wants you dead. Don’t let it succeed.
[if you leave negative comments on this post I will fucking GUT YOU and will I report every single thinspo blog that touches this]
- You’re always tired. I’m not even exaggerating, every day by like 9 or 10pm I’m already dying. I wasn’t a nap person, but now some days I just can’t go through the day without one. Getting out of bed is difficult and moving around is exhausting.
- On that note, all of those posts saying “can’t wait to be thin so that I’m not always out of breath when I climb up a flight of stairs” are utter bullshit. If anything, you’ll be struggling to catch your breath even more than before.
- Chest pains. I’ve always thought the other people in this community were exaggerating and that it would never happen to me, but it’s true. Sometimes your heart seems like it’s about to jump out of your chest and you’re not even doing anything.
- Your skin gets dull, your nails get brittle and your hair falls off. I think a lot of people know about this one, but it’s still worth mentioning. It is real and it fucking sucks. It doesn’t matter how much conditioner you put or how much lotion you apply, the only solution to this is eating more.
- If you purge (as in, throwing up, I know there are other ways of purging), your teeth WILL rot and your mouth WILL be ruined eventually. I’ve never purged, but I know of people who have and their entire mouth and throat area are horrible now. Especially if you sing, purging will destroy your vocal cords and you’ll lose your beautiful voice.
- It’s never enough. No matter how much you restrict, how much you lose, how much you work out, it’ll never be enough. This is why this illness kills, people. You’ll just keep lowering your GW and eventually you’ll be a walking skeleton, and trust me, that’s not a beautiful sight, like many people believe.
- You lie. So much. You get so used to lying that you automatically say stuff like “I’m not hungry” or “I’ve eaten already”. You lie to everyone, compulsively.
- You’re lonely. You cancel plans because they involve food, or because you need to exercise. Eventually, your friends will just think you’re not interested and stop asking. It’s heartbreaking.
- Your life is a constant math problem. “If I eat x amount of calories now, and exercise for y minutes later, how many calories are still in my budget? Should I really have that 50 calorie apple if I know I won’t have the time to burn it off later?”. You can’t stop thinking about all the food you’ve eaten, all the exercise you need to do later, calories, calories, calories. You’re obsessed.
I wanted to make this post to remind people that this illness is not pretty. It’s not desirable, it’s not a fast way of losing a few extra pounds. It kills. I didn’t even list all of the bad things that come with this illness, because there’s just so many. Literally, everything about ED’s is bad.
So, please, if you can, seek recovery. If you’re new in this community, delete your account, stay away from this hellhole and don’t look back. Trust me, your life is so much better when you don’t have this stupid illness holding you back.
He talked about them as if they were a crime. He told us how to know if someone has an ed (they’ll wear baggy dark clothing, they’ll avoid food), and to tell on them. He told us it’s for women only. We made jokes about it. We had to watch a terribly inaccurate movie portraying eating disorders.
This movie was full of tips on how to hide an ed that i remember 7 years later. He must not have interpreted it that way.
I learned to be a better liar and i learned that people will hate me and pity me and find me revolting and call me ignorant and force feed me with a tube in a hospital if they ever found out.
So i kept quiet.
They made me feel some of the most intense shame i’d ever felt. I felt stripped naked.
They took away my coping mechanisms (internet, tumblr account, certain TV shows, scale). They didn’t allow me to heal by choice or leave my coping mechanisms behind on my own because they thought my ed was a silly girl thing that I could quit whenever. But it wasn’t ever that simple.
To this day, the memory makes me shudder and reminds me to distrust them. They handled it horribly.
The only thing that ended up helping was when i was forced to go to therapy. I was resistant at first. But my therapist was educated on the topic, took me seriously, and helped me handle my ed safely to slowly and comfortably to recover rather than shame me to shreds so i could stop being a nuisance.
Recovering took YEARS. It was not a simple decision like everyone told me it should be. But even with my current relapse, I know how to be safe about this and how to avoid hurting myself.
Having an eating disorder shouldn’t be such a shameful thing. No wonder people rarely try to get help on their own when it’s framed as a joke or when people can handle it so horribly.
It needs to stop.
We need knowledgeable people in schools teaching students these things so we can create more understanding eventual adults and overall, a less stigmatized culture.
UPDATE: i am not pro ana, so:
please stop asking me in the comments what the name of the movie was. I am just going to delete the comments asking and delete comments that mention the name of the movie. I don’t mean to be rude and i hope it doesn’t come off that way, I’m just doing the same thing i’d do if someone came into my inbox asking for ana tips. Even if that wasn’t the intention of the people who asked, i could see someone using the movie in that way and I’d hate to have enabled that.
Thanks.
so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY–
here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:
so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”
and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.
“i received the tv bill today,” my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. “does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?”
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
silence.
my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”
silence.
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”
“don’t expose my kid to that crap.”
“if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room.”
but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?
I literally do not care what you look like naked. I don’t care if you have stretch marks, a chubby tummy, or hair on your belly. I don’t care if your thighs touch. I don’t care if you forgot to shave. I literally do not care about any of those things. The only thing I care about is teasing and pleasing the fuck out of you. Ain’t no stretch mark or hair gonna stop me from hearing you scream my name. When I love you I’m loving all of you.
Exciting news.
y’all better hype this up because this is BIG and is evidence that the berlin patient wasn’t a fluke, and this could revolutionize medicine (there’s already cases of cancers where methods similar to these have worked), and while you’re at it, please join a bone marrow registry!! (especially poc bc these therapies usually only have been done on white patients due to genetic similarities, and the more poc we get in registries the more access poc patients can have to this for cancers, SSS, etc)
They have nine beverages between the two of them
i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…
What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.
The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?
The way this post progressed is the reason I come on Tumblr
do u have any tips for people who have never worked out before to start being active ?
Well i’m definitely not a fitness expert (*cough* ask @studyfitaustria for tips tbh *cough*) and I mostly do cardio (running) but here’s some stuff you can do:
Ahh idk this is really not my thing, if anyone has tips please let us know!
Don’t you dare ever feel bad about yourself because clothes don’t fit you right. Don’t you dare ever let a mass produced, cash-grab industry-made piece of fabric make you feel ashamed of your body. I won’t allow it.
this is a transgender zone you either support trans rights or you die dude
Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow
I really need this…
please
Please.
Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top
On days like today when im having a really hard time with anxiety i remind myself that its completely! okay! to cry! Its perfectly okay to take it easy! I am NOT weak for needing to do so. When a child scrapes their knee, we dont call them a crybaby for asking for a bandaid so you shouldnt treat yourself that way either. <3 stay strong, youve got this.
