This Machine Irritates Fascists

The generation gap between me and ppl of my own age

looks like he's introducing his weird vaguely inbred son tbh

finally a descriptor for whatever the fuck american animation studios have been doing for years

he does look sociable

WHAT is that one poem (?), abt a modern worker contemplating the numerous forgotten who were actually responsible for all the ‘great’ deeds of history

found it!!

So I just went through three notebooks to find this, because I knew it was there.

I was at the ROM, about six years ago, at a special exhibit on Babylon. And there was a brick, formerly part of a palace. And Nebuchadnezzar, the one who built the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, had had his name in cuneiform stamped on every single brick, to emphasize that he had built it.

And on this one, a workman had carved his own name, Zabina’, into the block too, in Aramaic. Here’s the brick. It’s 2600 years old.

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Every time. Every damned time I see this, I crack up.

some sobriety ideas

Audio from @themornal

I have a vivid childhood memory of a commercial that I am now realizing could not possibly exist.

A guy and a gal are on a porch at what is clearly the end of a young love date. She is leaning against the house while they share a long passionate kiss. They break apart and smile at each other when she says "well I suppose I should head inside..."

"what's the hurry?" He responds. "Hey.... How bout a blowjob?"

She seems shocked! "Oh no! We couldn't! What if?"

"common!" He responds "no one will know! Everyone's asleep"

She is all "oh I don't know.... Are you sure?"

They fuss like this for a bit

As he is responding the door opens and a younger teenage girl steps out in her pj's and says "Dad says 'give him a blowjob, or I should, or if he wants, dad will come down and give him one. Just for the love of god get off the intercom'"

Like.

I know that can't be real. But I swear I have had this memory for years. I think the ad was for a doorbell intercom system? How. How would that have made it on to tv in the 90s? Could that even air today? Where did I see this ad? Wh

i don't think that was a real commercial, but that was a viral video. like, 2003-ish

help me

edit since everyone in the notes is confused

it's not a fall damage miscalculation. they're literally just forcing link to dive face first into the ground

forget fast fashion in 2023 the only viral trend i wanna see is workers unionizing

oh hey look what game it's time for:

Update:

Poured a glass of wine and decided to prove it:

(Turns out tumblr breaks if you add a video to a reblog. Who knew ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Michelle Rodriguez as HOLGA KILGORE & Regé-Jean Page as XENK YENDAR DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

Neurodivergent people love pacific rim bc its basic theses are “two besties who share a braincell can pilot a mecha” and “what if crab was big”

I don't want a direct sequel to the DnD movie

I want more DnD movies with the same cast, but they play totally different characters every time, except for Xenk, who is the only recurring character in the entire franchise

and he gets the exact same amount of introduction, too.

Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

Idk if I did it right

sorry!

it’s true you can’t draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors they’re marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their “collective path” as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you can’t do on your own.

im just fucking with you i’m pretty sure this has no right answer

i concocted a solution with a 100% mortality rate

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.

all in a days work! *passes out*

My indecisive butt, walking in and being faced with having to make a decision, immediately leaving

oOoOoooo I’m a ghost!

Fire

dude my house

What I love about tumblr is when we see a logic problem meant to be frustrating and/or unsolvable, we almost reflexively try to destroy it.

This website’s userbase is a chimp chewing through a Chinese finger trap

OP presented the Gordian Knot, and all of Tumblr manifested the spirit of Alexander

Never gonna know them, but shoutout to the healthcare workers who are breaking the law to help their patients get life-saving care. I'll never see an article about you because knowing you would risk everything including jail time. Nurses who lie on medical records so their patients can get abortions. Doctors making up shit so their patients can have HRT.

Wherever you are, you are keeping your promise to help your patient.

My mom is dead so she can’t get in trouble for this.

Many years ago when she was still healthy enough to work, she was the manager at one of those select-your-own-tests labs. They didn’t take insurance, which meant they had no insurance department, which meant it was actually cheaper sometimes than even getting the same test elsewhere WITH insurance, so her clientele often came in with doctor’s orders, and it is about one such patient I’m about to tell you. He was four years old and had leukemia.

At 3am the day my mom did his labs, she got a stat call. “Stat call” means “drop everything, contact the doctor, these numbers are outside the acceptable range and urgency is required.” She woke me to drive her to the lab so she could try to get in touch with the doctor on the way and say “I live five minutes from the lab I want you on the phone as soon as I get those numbers from my email.”

The doctor did not pick up.

Standard protocol at this point is to wait 20 minutes and call again, repeat until you get an answer.

My mom was not allowed to interpret lab numbers. She didn’t have the official credentials. But she was a medical assistant and had self-taught a lot of medicine to make herself a better MA (call it unofficial continuing education), and she took one look at this little boy’s numbers, and she had to make a judgement call. That call ended up being “Mrs. X, this is Catie from [lab name]. I received a stat call for your son and can’t reach the doctor. I’m not legally allowed to interpret these numbers for you. But pick an ER, I will call them and send the numbers and have them waiting for you. Go NOW. Don’t wait. I cannot stress enough how urgent it is that you GO RIGHT NOW.”

Had she chosen law over life, that little boy would have been dead by morning.

Instead she risked years in prison and being stripped of her license to practice. She got cupcakes and a thank-you card instead. As far as I know, the boy went on to make a full recovery.

When I think of my mom, this is what I want her to be remembered for. Nobody could ever know while she was alive. I want everyone to know now.

(And if you’re a 14-year-old on this website in 2023, and this sounds eerily corroborative to a story your mom has told you, and you grew up in Arizona, hi. My mom would love to meet you if she was still alive. But in her absence, will you tell me how you’re doing? I’ll tell her the next time I get up to her grave. She’d like to know.)