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qraden

@qraden

hi. i may or may not do things

It's actually so important to me that the first time we see Ed actually cry in Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood and Manga) - apart from the automail surgery - is when Hohenheim offers him his life to bring back Alphonse.

Throughout the entire story Ed doesn't cry because of his misguided love-filled promise to Al. No matter how horrible their odds, no matter how traumatizing their journey, Ed refuses to cry. He comes close. So, so close. When Izumi tells them it's okay to be sad, offering comfort after a long time without. After Nina dies and Ed and Al let the rain wash away their sorrow. When Hughes dies and guilt becomes an even heavier cloak weighing their shoulders down. When death comes knocking on Ed's door and he decidedly sends it packing.

Ed laughs and rages and smiles and screams.

But he doesn't cry.

Just because Al can't.

Ed was eleven when he made that promise. He was a child suffering through something truly horrific when he promised himself and the world that he wouldn't cry as long as his brother wasn't allowed to do the same.

Which is painful to watch - especially since it tells us that Ed knows how much crying is a part of life. He gave something up, not out of some misguided idea of masculinity, but because he knew it would be a sacrifice to keep himself from crying. A punishment since his brother could no longer offer his tears in the face of sorrow.

But by the end of the story Ed has cried. And it's not tears of joy, like the ones he promised Winry. No, Ed is angry when he cries - and Alphonse is no longer there.

In a way Ed kept his promise to Al - he only cried when the person he made this promise to (be it silent and secretive) was gone.

As far as they knew Al was dead.

But that truth alone didn't bring tears to Ed's eyes, though it certainly shattered his heart and made him quiver in desperation. No, in the end it was Hohenheim who finally allowed Ed to spill tears kept locked away for four long years.

And I love it.

I love that Hohenheim trying to do something truly loving, something completely selfish, something absolutely sacrificial was the thing that pushed Ed over the edge.

Because Ed never forgave his father for leaving, but by the end of the story he understands why he left.

Because Ed is so unbelievably angry with this man who abandoned him, and he still cares for him - partially because he knows Alphonse does.

Because Ed was never forced to forgive Hohenheim, but we still know that Hohenheim loves his children and his wife and would do everything for them.

Even, no, especially if it means dying.

And Ed can't take it.

So many others have died by this point, they are all painted in blood and pain, and Ed has lost his only constant - and now his father wants to make an ultimate sacrifice?

No.

So, Ed gets angry. And he cries. And he saves Al on his own - with the help of all of his friends, and Hohenheim.

Because no matter Ed's feelings on the man who gave him life, he doesn't want to see anyone else die. He doesn't want anyone else's blood on his hands.

And he wants Hohenheim to get a chance to be a rotten father - because at the end of the day Hohenheim is someone worth crying over even, no, especially by the boy who promised he wouldn't cry.

(there is something to be said about Hohenheim crying on their family portrait, only to be mirrored by Ed grinning while holding his own child - there is something to be said about Hohenheim willingly offering his life, only to be stopped by the tears running down his son's angry face - there is something to be said about Ed's anger and Hohenheim's soft grief and their shared past)

The way people just assume that their experiences are universal. No thoughts, opinions or feelings about it. I'm just observing it.

"I'm not disabled in any way but I always go out of my way to avoid doing this completely normal everyday thing able-bodied people can do because doing that causes me physical pain."

Dude.

"I'm not gay or anything, but on average you really do see more good-looking men than you see good-looking women."

Bruh.

"It must really suck to have ADHD or something, I mean I forget what I was doing every 30 seconds and get yelled at about it at least twice a day, it would suck if that was like a clinical thing."

Brother.

"I'm perfectly happy being a cis man but wouldn't everyone rather be a woman if they had the chance?"

Ma'am.

would you still love me even if i died and then came back immediately as a house spider? i'd come back as a male spider (and im gonna tell you why id come back as a male spider) cause the ladies stay in their webs and id want to run to you, i digress, a little hair spider with little hair legs, i'd scuttle on the walls and look up at you with all of my eyes (i'll have eight of them, each to stare at you even if i cant see well - i'll rely on touch and taste and smell) and that might be weird ? but ive established that id be a spider anyway, so at that point hopefully youd not mind. im in the attic now. a second love i can find in my first love (its you its you its you its you) and i hear you scream and watch you blurrily, oh no please dont run youre my only one my true love is you (its you its you its you its you) why did you get your shoe? im just a tiny man please hold me in your hand please put down that shoe SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM youre getting a tissue SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM now im in the bin now im in the bin now im in the bin now im in the now im in the bin bin now im in the bin now im in the bin now im in the bin now im in the bin bin

@qraden @somnambulant-seraphim @revue-of-souls Would you all still love me if I turned into a spider? :"0

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@earl-of-earwigs of course<3

As someone who is autistic, I cannot, CANNOT emphasize enough the damage the mantra of 'Do or do not, there is no try' did to me. Is it a quote from a fictional mutilated frog in a just as fictional universe? Yes. Did people take it onboard as an actual Thing to Live By? Yes.

Here's the deal- for me, and a ton of other neurodivergent people, trying is tantamount to one of the greatest efforts we can give. Trying is our best some days. It's giving it our all. We're gonna screw up, and fail, and probably be a little bit sad and angry because of it, but lemme tell you a secret.

Doing things halfway, means we tried. It means we didn't just walk away from it. For me for example, if I'm so depressed or in such a sensory-sensitive space that I can't unload the dishwasher, I might still be able to gather all the dirty dishes and put them in one spot for later. Can't shower? I can still run a warm washcloth over my face and put some deodorant on.

You get the gist. If you have a loved one - family, friend, or otherwise - who is on the spectrum or neurodivergent in some way and you see them struggling, don't push them to 'just do it'. Praise them for trying, encourage their efforts and don't get angry if they have to stop.

Trying is doing.

same with "don't half-ass things". my life got so much better once i gave myself permission to half-ass anything i want

short politics talk so don't read if that's not your thing

while it's kinda obvious that a lot of "men bad" narratives affect trans men into self hatred over their identity, and maybe a bit more controversially pushes a lot of white men (especially who are young to andrew tate figures, i feel like it might also affect men of colour in a specific way as well. a lot of "men bad" narratives usually paint them as animalistic rapists, and this has been a stereotype used to make white women fear black men for centuries now, and while i don't really have evidence per se i feel like modern men bad narratives may also push this stereotype again which is obviously not good. i also haven't touched upon how these narratives affect trajs men of colour. these narratives do nothing but spread hate and continue it has a cycle.

if you're someone who buys even partially into the terf-like "men bad" narrative, lowtiergod has a speech for you that i agree with

i am so serious when i say we as young adults are so starved and deprived of community

like we as a generation - i'm talking especially young adults who are just entering the workforce - are so so lonely! i think about it all the time. between the incoming recession and cost of living crisis + the rise of wfh + processing pandemic trauma so many of us live deeply isolated lives and i think we deserve better...i'm working fully remote and i consider myself lucky because i do have friends that i see regularly but there's a hunger for that place you can go to to be around people in an organic but meaningful way to you that is not being addressed rn! we now more than ever need communities!

at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

i still think that gambling should be in every video game

borrower learning about libraries and being shocked that humans also borrow stuff only to find out the books are returned eventually and say that it's "not actually borrowing"

"it's not borrowing if you're just gonna return it!!!!"

"that's literally the definition of 'borrowing'"

"you beans clearly have the wrong idea of what it means to borrow"

"I'm sorry what are your people called? Is it literally the name of what you do? That's what I thought"

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i like this video, it is very cool

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i'm becoming addicted to these metronome videos help

does anyone else get kinda excited when you get a new thing of toothpaste? it's like "oooo, full tube" "ooo, new colours" "ooo, new random marketing on the tube"

The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.

Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.

Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.

Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.

my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

i fucking love my boyfriend so much i am going to cry