i ship mario and his hat ;)

.・゜゜*+:｡.｡ ♡ Mat ♡ ｡.｡:+*  ゜゜・．

(the hat is called Cappy)

hmmmm i feel like this has just gone a bit too far

The hats the top

hmmmm i feel like this has just gone a bit too far

Actors in prescription medication commercials should have to reenact all the side effects as the narrator reads through them.

I hate this the most

youre a man now son, i want you to have this

when you meet someone with the same name as you

when your friends actually let you talk for once but you forget what you were trying to say

I can’t wait until all of society gets to a point where saying “maybe you should see a therapist” isn’t seen as an insult

because seriously if I have to see another woman blatantly getting used, abused and/or taken advantage of in a “relationship” and then look at me like I called them out of their name when I suggest seeing a therapist like… sweetheart, just make the damn appointment.

Honestly. Truly.

are you kidding, i love classical music. my favorite composers are bach, mozart, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* beef oven

Female will go on dates with you just because they’re hungry. They don’t even like you. 

and guys will have sex with u just cause they’re horny, they won’t even like u so

Golden retrievers are the same way on both accounts.

isn’t rick and morty that thing you get when you die and your body gets all stiff

No, thats rigor mortis

rick and morty is a type of tube-shaped pasta

You’re thinking of rigatoni

rick and morty is a numbering system that ranks earthquakes based on seismograph oscillations

no, youre thinking of richter scale.

rick and morty is the pixar movie about a rat who wants to learn how to cook among humans

nah, thats ratatouille

rick and morty is the rich kid from fairly odd parents 

That’s Remy Buxaplenty,

Rick and Morty is when you send somone a link or a video and “Never Give You Up” plays

you’re thinking of Rickrolling

Rick and Morty is the 1893 short story by Rudyard Kipling about a young mongoose

no, that’s Rikki Tikki Tavi…

Rick and Morty is a Latin-American pop star best known for “Livin’ La Vida Loca”

No, that’s Ricky Martin.

Rick and Morty is the packaged rice mix that comes in different flavors and is called “the San Francisco treat”.

No, that’s Rice a Roni

Rick and Morty is the term for a lengthy and complicated procedure

No, that’s a rigamarole.

Rick and Morty is a two or three-wheeled passenger cart.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

I have this thing called ‘I consider this person my friend but I don’t know if they consider me theirs’

me to a waitress when she tells me of a minor inconvenience: no problem! that’s okay!

waitress: ??! you’re so kind! thank you! i’m so sorry!!

me: are you Ok

me, gently touching the waitress’ arm: who hurt you

…this is me AF.

Question: Why when the shoplifting alarms go off do baby boomers just keep walking? 

Like 9/10 I have to chase down a baby boomer to make sure they are not stealing compared to those of the younger generations who normally stop and prove without asking that they are not shoplifting? Even when they are the only ones to walk through and the alarms go off, they still keep walking and become  very rude when you ask to see their receipts to make sure and it’s normally the opposite with millennials.

Like no ma’am I do not think you are a shoplifter it’s just that the machine thinks you are and I have to verify or discredit what the machine is saying. 

Am I the only one who notices this?

what… what happened in the generation gap to change people’s attitudes and actions so severely?

They didn’t want to be like their parents

hmmm

“All of the other reindeers used to laugh and call him names.”

“Used.”

the what? gay?

Dangerous Dogs Behind “Beware Of Dog” Signs.

one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”

i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.

ya she’s my buddy i love her!

update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!) 

GREAT UPDATE NOW YOU HAVE SIX FRIENDS!!!

ya they’re my buddies i love them!!!!!

i found my new favorite post on this website