Just a couple of conmen who should have stayed far, far away from Collinsport and vampires. Based on the Norman Rockwell paintings ‘Boys Smoking’ and ‘Retribution’:
I think part of what makes hoa so great is the nostalgia in it, in the way it was made in it’s year. I just think having a reboot with more modern implications kinda. takes away from everything. like imagine instead of sibuna going through different books to find hieroglyphics or spending days on the meaning of a riddle, they just pulled out their iphone 194739s and googled it real quick like. I think in order to make it relevant to 2023, it would take away part of what makes it interesting
Eddie: Imagine being British. Can’t have TV, can’t have knives, can’t have flour, can’t have eggs, and can’t have any goddamn sprinkles.
Joy: Where the fuck did you get any of that information; it’s all wrong.
Eddie: I made it up.
the only reason i’d want a more mature version of hoa is so that i could see someone call jerome a little bitch on my screen.
Iconic and Amusing Victor Moments
- Playing an Egyptian(?) board game with Mr. Sweet
- His face and reaction and stepping back and "Wha-wha-what?" when Willow hugs him
- Including Mick in his disciplinary "get to your rooms" before whipping around confused "Mick Campbell?"
- Bursting through the door when Mick and Mara are having their date
- Cuddling with Corbiere
- He just really likes that raven. Petting it. Talking to it. Thinking about its safety.
- Immediately rushing down the ladder when Amber feins fainting and asking if she'd been doing a fad diet
- Awkwardly telling off Fabian and Nina when they're having 'a lover's tif' and backing out the door
- Slinking back behind the corner during the senet game
- Bringing a rose for Sarah.
- His license plate
- Knocking out Rufus and throwing him in a van
- Pinning Rufus against the wall
- Going on a tangent about the children (Alfie in particular) and leaving his office
- "He's going to regret messing with me."
- Having a surprisingly soft tone of voice when he asks Amber, Nina, and Fabian why they were in the cellar in s2
- Mildly concerned when he sees the Mark on Nina's arm "For your sake I hope it does [come off]."
- Warming up his voice ??? When Fabian covers up Sibuna shenanigans by asking if he would do a voice over
- When he's in the tunnels being snarky about RFS like he has a rivalry against him (he literally let you eat at his table with his family, Victor. Chill)
- The fact this man did hopscotch (should have made room to show that in the episode)
- "Who, me?" Slamming the book shut and saying he was doing light reading when Vera enters his office to see if he was researching a task.
- Kissing Vera's forehead all tenderly
- His reaction to losing Alfie in the senet game. "Release them!"
- Wearing an apron and making breakfast
- Alfie pretending to choke and Victor, believing him, slapping him on the back and sending him out to get a glass of water.
- Essentially calling Jerome a snitch in front of everyone at Mick and Amber's party: "I know I can count on you, Jerome."
- "Alfie Lewis, would you like a slice of chocolate cake?" *whips around*
- "I have your father on speed dial."
- Reading Amber's diary and the passage about him, slamming the diary shut, and then checking himself in the mirror.
- "If those miscreants can do it..." before crossing the crocodile bridge
- "Yes, you listen to this old man."
- "It is 10 O'clock. You have five minutes precisely, and then I want to hear.. a pin.. drop."
I don’t think Lockwood knows how to ride a bike. No I will not elaborate.
i will
1) refuses to take off coat ever so even if he did know how he’d fall off anyway because said coat would get tangled
2) probably was an awkwardly tall, lanky child, probably was too hyper to learn anything that takes a development of balance
3) that being said why would his 15 year old sister take it upon herself to teach him because i sure wouldn’t
4) parents go boom they can’t help either
5) suit
6) vibes
some people out there really be typing fanfics longer than war and peace in their free time and then going on about their life like it's no big deal. how fucking incredible. like no offense to tolstoy but that was like. his whole job
That wasn’t even the half of it. Tolstoy needed his wife for everything in order to publish his novels. She had to run the entire estate because he would ignore it so much that she feared their family would be financially ruined without her guidance. All while raising their thirteen children (only eight who would live to adulthood) and surviving 3 miscarriages. She acted as copyist and editor of War and Peace throughout the entire writing process, waiting until after the children and servants had gone to bed and staying up late to read and edit his stories with a magnifying glass by candlelight. He was very abusive to her and all of Russian society knew how unhappy their marriage was.
So not only are these people writing longer fanfics than the loser Tolstoy, but they don’t even have an entire estate of servants and a wife slave to take care of their every responsibility.
“oh they’re not taking away chronological dashboard, well everything’s okay then” they also said in the post they’re making reblogs collapsed (like comments on twitter) so you won’t see the full conversation in a post. they also won’t get rid of tumblr live despite it being an annoying and cancerous data-miner that isn’t legal in much of the world. they won’t even let you opt out of tumblr live for more than seven days. they implemented a terrible photo viewer that mimics tiktok and makes it so you can’t zoom in on images. they took away the ability to view prev tags. they’re making it so you have to sign in with your email to view almost any thing on tumblr. they’ve already made it so you have to sign in to send asks, even on anon. they’re slowly phasing out custom blog themes.
the things that make tumblr at all usable and favored by us– the older web blog features, the anonymity– that is still being taken away. it HAS been being taken away for some time now. i am urging you people to reveiwbomb the tumblr app. force them to acknowledge that users do not like these changes.
AU where Mick is the Chosen One, but he still has no part in the mysteries.
duchessandtheconman
Knocks mick out to stand on a tower. Trick mick into putting the cup together. “The pieces are to heavy for us, you are so much stronger.” “What do you mean you hear voices? Tell me everything they are saying.”
I feel so bad for mara during the vera stuff in s2. like knowing that a teacher is not to be trusted and having miles of evidence against her just for her to turn around and publicly humiliate you because she paid off every witness you had
the cutest kidnapping, double-crossing, conniving housemother who ever lived 🥺
house of strategy + house of memory (241)
house of pretenders + house of trouble (242)
Sofia should have ripped her face mask off in Touchstone of Ra to reveal that she is, in fact, Rufus Zeno.