I feel like so much slur discourse could get solved by discussing intent. “I’m okay with faggot but don’t like when someone yells it out a car at me.” Yeah no shit. I like physical touch in the form of a hug but don’t like it when it is in the form of a punch. People have said the word “gay” “lesbian” “trans” what have you with the most hateful vitriol they can muster because they MEAN it like a slur. So many of us have heard the tone that may as well make the word a slur.
If I saw a sign that says “I hunt members of the LGBTQIA+ community for sport” it wouldn’t really feel different from “I want to kill faggots.”
Additionally, I LIKE that it makes people cringe. It used to make me cringe. Those words have history for me too. But they also are not able to be sanitized by corporations. Shitlibs who would never rock the boat to protect me are never going to NOT shrink away at me calling myself a dyke and I do not care.
MY intent IS vitriol back, sometimes. A bold statement of attack. But sometimes it’s a joke. “His faggy mannerisms have captivated me.” Sometimes it’s a badge of honor from older queers. Sometimes it’s not that deep. What’s behind the words, what the intent is is everything.