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Punks

@punks23

Fuck descriptions. I'm not a box dndads enthusiast, Lark my beloved

My fics

So I have been writing a bit and I'm very unsure if I have shared them on here, so i guess here ya go

He was a Jester Oakworthy -"So its decided, our Jester will put on a play for Normal and Theresa as pre-wedding gift," King Sparrow stated as Normal's eyes widened and Her head popped up from her little sketch book which was previously occupying her.

Insomnia General Dndads study post realms -Late night conversations and dealing with the changes that come after season 1 but before the hook to season 2. Plus some pre season 2 Nark as a treat Follows (in order) Darryl, Glenn and Nick, Lark and Sparrow, Lark and Nick, Henry and Mercedes, Nicky and Lark

Double or Nothing Nark -“Indeed.” Lark turns to him, “You are gonna practice buttoning your shirt while I do your hair” “You have my-your shirt unbuttoned why?” “Im lazy. So are we doing this? Or am I gonna have to leave you to get ready on your own? And eventually, leave without you” Nick gasps “You wouldn’t” “You wanna test that?” Lark challenges.

Stonerverse Nark (Plus Cass) A Night In NSFW Nark -Lark squints at Nicky trying to understand the thought process. Nicky must be more stoned than Lark thinks since Nicky always hoards this particular strain, as it comes from Hell. Nick is always telling him how it's gonna put him on his ass when he gets his mitts on it. Apparently, demons have a stronger tolerance to mortal sins. Who knew? (He did) For Lark’s safety, they've never shared one. "We should probably shotgun it though'' There's the catch. Lark squeezes Nick's wrist in a silent agreement before letting go. A Li-Wilison Movie Night NSFW Nark -“Hellcat, Suck me off now. The others are waiting for us remember?” Lark growls, pulling Nicky toward him by the hair. It's set after 'A Night In' but not all necessary to read, just know Lark gets horny when he gets high (or that's what he tells himself) Eating Out NSFW Nark -“How are you feeling?” Nick asks once he has disregarded the roach into the ashtray. He feels Lark open his mouth, only to lick at Nick’s neck. “Horny.” Lark loves to give pleasure to Nick while high. A New Experience NSFW Nark+Cass “Songbird. You wanna be good for me?” Instantly Lark sits back up and stares directly at Nick, “We are gonna go to the bedroom, and you are going to strip. Fold your clothes nicely. And you’re going to let Cassandra and I play with you, and you’ll be rewarded, Yes or No?” Lark's eyes go wide as he realizes what nick is implying. “Yes or No?” Nick repeats. Lark nods. “Verbal, Yes or No? Green or Red?” Lark’s eyes close on their own accord as if out of shame as he responds. “Yes, Sir. Green”

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we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

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it’s goop!

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GUESS WHO HAD GOOPLETS! SIX ENTIRE BABIES! mama goop held onto her gooplings for an entire week longer than she had to, so the gooplitos came out very well done and fluffy!!

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nearly five years ago… since then, mama goop has aged significantly, and as she nears the end of her life, she’s been given a cushy retirement alongside her beloved husband, papa pumpkin. for everyone who remembers this post, the goop troop sends their regards

thinking about man tits again

thinking about hairy tummys again

thinking about greying hair again

thinking about woman dick again

thinking about double chins again

thinking about falling out hair again

thinking about big tummys again

thinking about big noses again

thinking about tooth gaps again

thinking about bitten finger nails again

thinking about acne again

thinking about acne scars again

thinking about hairy legs again

thinking about how beautifully diverse humanity is again

thinking about "ugly" traits are made up bullshit and aren't real again

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday

i dreamt this post got 19k notes overnight and everyone i knew had disowned me for for my cat 5 Sack Slip event

twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

Something something Lark keeps giving guns to the kids against all common sense because when he was a kid and forcibly disarmed by his father, his stand-in father figure and protector was nearly killed and permanently disabled trying to protect them, crippling his ability to protect them in the future and undoubtedly putting the kids in a vastly more vulnerable state the next time something dangerous happened, and Lark never wants any kids on his watch to be as powerless as he felt then

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

LISTEN-

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

father god 

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…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Lord have mercy….

Bye

3 days into 2018 smh

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LMAOOOOOOO

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

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It keeps getting worse.

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

My head hurts…

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

who failed yall?

IM SCREAMING

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

happy New year’s eve

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

Reblogging for the last one😂

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

what the actual fuck is happening

1 is an even number

I’m gonna smack you

-30 and -50 have an e in them

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Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

Zero isn’t a number

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It can’t be divided by two though, can it

It can??? 0/2=0??

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OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

OD numbers huh?

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

YOU FORGOT 5

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

What about it?????

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

IM FUCKIN SOBBING HAVAGAFDHFDHHBJJ

I’m honestly so confused right now

This is the height of our stupidity, It has to be or future generations cannot exist

ZERO IS BOTH ODD AND EVEN 

Technically zero isn’t even a number

what even is zero then

It’s similar to black and white. They aren’t official colors and neither is 0.

Black is a “shade” and white is a “tint”

Numbers aren’t real

Is anything really

this post really makes me feel better about my math skills, thanks, tumblr

how did this manage to get worse

You know that can be said about a lot of things.

I LAUGHED SO HARD IT FUCKING HURTS!

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

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i dont think you get it. 1980 was twenty years ago. 1990 was 10 years ago. 2000 was 10 years ago. 2016 was two years ago. 2018 was also two years ago. 2017 was last year. 2014 was four years ago. do you understand me now?????

im really into romantic friendships, but specifically ones where the lines are already so blurred & yet the concept of romance hangs like a guillotine over both heads

Projects i have:

  • Knitting a baby Blanket
  • Knitting a scarf
  • Knitting a drug rug
  • Resin dice
  • Candles
  • Quoting dndads
  • Cleaning my house
  • Cooking for my house

And what am i doing? Designing and building an enclosure for my newest pet

the catholic old white guy asked me to explain lgbtq+ to him and it was honestly kind of funny

“okay! you have 15 seconds to explain non-binary to me if there are only male and female genders”

me: if you lost your genitals would you still feel like a man?

“no”

would you feel like a woman?

“no?”

so you wouldn’t feel male or female

“yeah what’s your point?”

So, you wouldn’t fit into the gender binary of male or female? :)

him:

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“so non-binary just means not feeling male or female?”

Yeah basically

“so why do they use “they” so much”?

if you were a woman would you want to be called a man?

“no…”

And the opposite?

“no…”

Why why would you want someone to call you male or female if you’re not male or female then?”

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it’s not a perfect way of thinking but i had 15 seconds and i think it got the point across

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When you get stuck in traffic behind someone with bumper stickers that elude to some strange politics