i don't even know, man

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic

"casual pose" handong version

Avior can’t spoon feed us his disgustingly romantic imagery about swimming in pools of gold with the star-crossed love of his life and NOT expect me to draw it🤍

That audio had me on my knees so quick in just about every conceivable context

Redacted tweets except I'm incredibly uncreative

Sam at the club

David at the club

Workin’ my way up the D.A.M.N. Crew so y’know I had to start off with Lasky<3 (Ft. Everybody’s favorite Incubus)

I like to headcanon that empowereds eye colors are based on the magic they wield and can be a variety of shades, so as a humanborn I decided Lasko has light brown eyes with grey tint ✨

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Bonus-

POV: You invite Lasko Moore over to do his laundry

More darlin and angel bff doodles weeeeee, i love their friendship a bit too much!! Beware darlin, the pack alpha might get jealous!

this thought approached me and i couldn't live on without drawing it i love them sm

sam after he probably fell and busted his ass while trying to dance

Angel: I like david. Thoughts?

Their friends: And prayers, girl what

“Why only flip burgers when you can flip me over?” -Gavin, probably

His latest Hot Boi Summer was so <33

FOLKS 🙏 How we feelin’ about my final David Shaw design

vincent’s soft “it’s ok. you’re doing good. you’re doing really good. it’s ok.” and gavin’s quiet “shh, it’s alright. you’re alright. look at me, it’s ok. you’re ok.” and sam’s gentle “it’s ok. you’re going to be ok.” and avior’s thoughtful “i’ll be gentle.” and david’s hoarse “i know. it’s alright.” and milo’s whispered “that’s ok, you have nothing to be sorry for.” and

Redacted tweets again except they're 10x more unhinged🩷

Most of these were either from or inspired by those bsd tweets on tiktok Ifykyk (yes ik it's not mothers day shhh)

The Shaw Pack 🌘

Sorry y’all, I only took so long to finally post these mfs cause I was debating on whether or not post them individually, but since they were only headshots and all drawn on the same canvas it was just easier to cage em all together so yuh

Might work on quick sketches of their fits next

the cutest married couple in dahlia PROVE ME WRONG RIGHT NOW

i will not accept davey/angel slander, this is my otp and i will stand on this hill until i die