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rotten angel

@pumuckl1312

21 / tw for everything, this is a diary to me just a little cunt that has no friends and can't even speak proper english but somehow thinks they're aesthetic

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

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Homeopathic holy

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It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

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Here’s what a jug of Pope water looks like. Mom measured a fill line on them so that we never accidentally run out and just have old jugs of secular water lying around.

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IMPORTANT UPDATE: we have two flavors of pope water now, Benedict XVI and Francis! My little sister who lives in Italy went to the Vatican last week and got my mom some Francis water. Needless to say, I will be mixing the two of them to see what happens. (Answer: nothing will happen, but it’ll be extremely funny to me. Supercharged waters of the papacy.)

makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop

i don't want to do it myself, i need an aneurysm or something

i was better at expressing my feelings when i was 16 than i am as an adult

i don't want to reach out to anyone except for one person who i really shouldn't bother with this

i'm incapable of forming real connections with others

i wish my brain would just shut up for once

what's it called when you feel nothing but also everything at the same time?

i'm really trying but i'm just so tired

if i'm always either manic or depressed how can i know who i actually am?

it's getting bad again.

i can't sleep.

i think my friends don't actually care about me.

i didn't eat today and i like feeling hungry.

i think about cutting again for the first time in 5 years.

i purposely looked through triggering tags to make myself cry.

i romanticize the person i was shortly before i was hospitalized.

i crave cocaine.

i miss people who weren't good for me.

i don't want to wake up tomorrow.

fuck.