caleb talking to astrid like…

“They took everything from us. Then they call me a monster? The moment I sign that pardon, the moment that I ask for one, I proclaim the world that they were right. This ends when I grant them my forgiveness, not the other way around.”

wait also society if caleb - 

“I say to offer to pardon something one fears is the act of a coward. To offer them in volume suggests that their fear of us is becoming unmanageable, that we have shown them what we are capable of and it terrifies them.”

guess who’s finally backkk

[Image description: a drawing of Yussa Errenis from the waist up on a black background. Yussa is a thin elven man with tan skin and short, wavy white hair. He’s wearing peach-colored robes with delicate white embroidery along the neckline and shoulders, and long fingerless matching gloves that loop over his middle fingers. His hands are loosely clasped in front of his chest and he’s looking to the side with a serious expression. He’s illuminated by an unseen light source from behind.]

Caleb may be emotionally dead inside but his facial expressions sure ain’t!

((In other words Liam’s faces were so funny this whole segment I literally could not help myself.))

[ID: Three drawings of Caleb as Liam’s expressions. Liam is a white man with brown hair wearing a black coat and brown scarf with a single fingerless leather glove. Caleb is a pale-skinned man with freckles and red hair wearing a similar outfit. In the first image, Caleb holds out his hands in a questioning pose. The second is him slamming his fists down on the table in confused frustration. The third is him throwing up his hands in annoyance. The fourth is him leaning his head on his hand in annoyance.]

Next up, Beauregard in the role of Achilles. 

Brains and brawn, baby 

[ID: a digital half-body drawing of Beau from Critical Role as Achilles from Hades (Game). The background is black with a green beam of light coming down behind Beau. Beau is a brown human with brown hair shaved into an undercut, a golden headband, the symbol of Ioun holding together a blue cloak and holding a spear. She is looking at the viewer while smiling with her fist raised. End ID]

[image ID: 

A LIST OF MONSTERS YOU HAVE MET, IN ORDER:

   1. VAX’ILDAN.          a. Your mother called him a little monster, fondly, when he broke into her locked jewelry box.          b. Your teacher called him a little monster, less fondly, when he punched a boy in the mouth for pulling your hair.          c. You call him a little monster, furious, when he pulls your hair later the same day.

   2. SYLDOR VESSAR.          a. He takes you from your home.          b. He takes Vax’s smile.          c. He takes and he takes and he takes and asks, snarling, why you never think to just give.

   3. THE CINDER KING.          a. You will not learn his name for years.          b. You will not learn why this happened to you for longer.          c. You will never learn to breathe through the ashes of your city.

   4. GROG STRONJAW.          a. He is the definition of a monster: a hulking, brutish thing with a disregard for life.          b. He is the definition of a contradiction: a walking horror show clinging fondly to his tiny cleric.          c. He is the definition of a friend: something you never had before but hold to your chest and never let go.

   5. PERCIVAL FREDRICKSTEIN - YOU KNOW THE REST.          a. You find him near dead in a prison, refusing to answer your questions.          b. You find him fascinating.          c. You find him less of a monster than he believes.

YOU FORGOT ONE.

   0. VEX’AHLIA.          a. You have always known yourself as a monster: clawing your way through life and leaving destruction in your wake.          b. You have always known yourself as a monster: roaring and rising and refusing to fall, wounds open and bleeding.          c. You have always known yourself as a monster: wild, untamed, and wanting, wanting, wanting.

/end ID]

AroAce Caduceus let’s fucking GOOOOOO

[ID: A tweet from Taliesin Jaffe posted on November 12th 2020, that says - “ My old ass had to google the term just to make sure it meant what I thought it meant because old. But yes, Cad has no romantic interest.”  /End ID]

Read the original quoted tweet thread »HERE«!

[ID: a series of tweets dated 10/22/20. The first tweet is by Eric Stirpe @.stirpicus. It reads:

The tweet was quote tweeted by Matthew Mercer @.MatthewMercer who adds:

End ID]

You peek inside Jester’s notebook. There’s something about Beau scribbled out.

(original comic here)

[id: a series of pencil panels based on the linked comic. jester, a tiefling with short curly horns and hair in a bob, and beau, a human with her hair in a topknot, are sitting together, looking down and away from each other. “there is a word i know. but i can’t say it,” reads the narration above them. they look up at each other. “i can’t think it.” they start to lean closer, and drawn horses appear overlaid over them. “i’ll just keep drawing horses,” repeats, and the number of horses grows as they close their eyes, lean in, and kiss. /end id.]

There's a lot of accidental anti-semitism in the world , but sometimes I come across the deliberate and malicious anti-semitism im DND and I'm just reminded that no matter how much I love this game it does not love me back and the original creators never wanted me to play it.

Today's example is: Phylactery

In d&d:

In real life

That's right. they named the evil artifact that the evil undead spellcaster hides their soul in after a Jewish ceremonial object.

Actually I want to add something because the genius of this particular kind of anti-semitism is that most gentiles won't know what a Phylactery really is, The only people who will notice are the Jewish players. Making them instantly feel isolated, alone, and unsafe in their d&d group.

when you come across that you should at the table paralyzed wondering

Do my fellow players know this is anti-Semitic?

If they don't know and I bring it up will they be mad at me for ruining the fun?

If they do know and I bring it up will revealing myself as Jewish be dangerous?

It's a tactic to deliberately push Jewish people out of the game. and nobody jump up to tell me it was an accident because it fucking wasn't. Before d&d Phylactery only had one definitionand I find it impossible that they would know the word without knowing the meaning. Or at least knowing it was Jewish.

{ID: Three images 1 - screenshot of the description for a Lich’s Phylactery, from the Forgotten Realms Wiki “The process of achieving lichdom required that the spellcaster construct a powerful magical artifact, a phylactery, in which the lich stored its life essence. As long as this phylactery was unharmed, the lich was immortal and would attempt to reassemble if it was ever vanquished (this happened within 10 days after its apparent destruction). It did not, however, grant any of the normal benefits of a phylactery until it was fully completed. For these reasons, liches took great care in protecting their phylactery from harm, employing decoys, traps, and other defenses.”

2 - screenshot of the Google definition for a phylactery, accompanied by two pictures of it: “a small leather box containing Hebrew texts on vellum, worn by Jewish men at morning prayer as a reminder to keep the law.” The phylactery is a black box with a strap on it

3 - a gif of someone rubbing their eyes with their hands, exhausted

/end ID}

The good thing about the 2 week hiatus was that it gave me time to make this

this started out as just a study last month, and spiraled very into control

based on Springtime (1873) by Pierre Auguste Cot

i posted this on twitter, too, if you wouldn’t mind giving it some support

[ID: digital fanart of Beau and Jester from Critical Role. The art is based on the neoclassical/romanticist painting “Springtime” by Pierre Auguste Cot. The fanart depicts both character sitting on a wooden tree swing in a lush forest. Beau, dressed in a loose blue tunic, is holding onto the swing’s ropes and looking down at Jester with a slight smile. Beau has a blue bow in her hair and another around her tunic. Jester has both arms wrapped around Beau’s shoulder, their faces almost touching; she is smiling at Beau. Jester is wearing a long, white, semi-transparent, flowing gown with no sleeves and a trail or scarf. She has a pink bow attached to the end of her tail. End ID.]

In short: it’s complicated, but Caleb is confirmed bi as fuck.

D&D NPC Idea

Perfectly Ordinary Dog

Low strength, very low dex, low constitution, high intelligence, low wisdom, godlike charisma

Is capable of doing anything a PC can do (climb/intimidate/bluff/etc) but with disadvantage on anything that would be difficult or impossible for a dog.

A loyal dog that follows the party. No one knows where it came from. It does its best to help the party, but it only knows a few generic commands. They are:

Sit: Perfectly Ordinary Dog sits. Leave It: Perfectly Ordinary Dog disengages from all opponents. Shake: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Earthquake. Come: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Teleport on itself to move directly next to the person who issues the command. Stay: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Turn to Stone on itself. The effect lasts until Perfectly Ordinary Dog is told otherwise. Speak: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Speak With Animals on itself. In addition to the spell effects, it removes disadvantage from all rolls involving speech (bluff, etc.) Sing: Perfectly Ordinary Dog uses Bardic Performance. Heel: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Cure Light Wounds on the most injured party member within range. Down: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Gate and summons a portal to a random netherworld dimension.

The PCs do not know about any of Perfectly Ordinary Dog’s abilities and must find them out via trial and error.

bro there is nothing funner and more stupid then the concept of fantasy races in a corporate setting imagine you go in for a job interview and a tiefling is sitting at the front desk.

dwarf: pulling another all-nighter?

elf who literally doesn’t sleep: i don’t see the problem

Just because he doesn’t sleep doesn’t mean he doesn’t need “me time”.  You’re not paying him for his entire life, and he’s not paying 4200 to enjoy an apartment he’s never in.

This is literally what I love to draw and imagine

Goblin in a waistcoat

That’s just one of their normal states of being

He also has a pocket watch

No he cannot read it

that’s because he chewed the face so much it’s illegible

Joblin

@1-800-goblins

A high-fantasy lord of the rings Elf living at work for months undetected because they sleep with their eyes open for 6 hours a week and only eat granola from the break room is a fantasy plot I need in my life

Elf androgyny and dwarf androgyny and orc androgyny are like three very different forms of androgyny and defiance of the binary and they’re all so good

Elf: everyone’s pretty, but has no ass.

Dwarf: everyone’s hairy, but has no ass.

Orc: everyone’s SHREDDED and can crack walnuts between their cheeks.

Goblin androgyny: you’re small and horrible and you’re pretty certain that ‘gender’ was a kind of beetle you ate last week.

Tiefling androgyny: Aesthetic™️ is the new gender

Oh FUCK put this in the hall of fame too. These are the TWO best additions on this whole post and everyone else can go the fuck home.

I can’t believe there are people that play D&D and don’t involve themselves in  worldbuilding or make elaborate backstory or write secret letters to NPCs. How do they not realize they are missing out on one of the best parts of gaming, namely making your DM do this:

[image description: a screenshot of a discord message reading ‘aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’ / end id]