July 27, 2023 - A tripwire takes out a full squad of riot police who were on their way to evict a squat in Brest, France. [video]

This is basically what happened in Garlemald, right?

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

an Iraqi gamer's beautiful review of Disco Elysium

To the tumblr users

hi

Hello bisexual community

Begin killing

Love this

[S] Buddwy: Resign

You produce your NOTICE OF RESIGNATION from your MANILA FOLDER modus.

You warn everyone in the room to stand the fuck back.

Sir Dwyer has been caught accepting bribes from enemies of the crown

oh my god

meditations on first philosophy (1641) - rene descartes

"who give a shit"

get hyped. this shit will have you squirting

nothing i want less

Actually yeah dude, maybe we shouldn't work with the company that literally sends Pinkertons to threaten people because the COMPANY fucks up. Like grats on the success, Lancer is a fantastic game, but also pick your poison bro.

it’s ok i talked to the CEO of wizards of the coast and he said he’s really sorry about that whole thing. and we here at lancer corporation forgive him and even patted him on the back for being so apologetic

I hope you washed that hand. Y'know. Cuz of the slime.

how did you know we also gave him a handjob. that was under the table and confidential.

get hyped. this shit will have you squirting

To be clear, @lancerrpg is not an official account for Massif Press, and is probably just posting this to stoke controversy and get views.

Bro they are literally acting like a 4-chan user or something in the reblogs. They are trying to act like that *isnt* the reason they made this, and its pissing me off. Lets get them outta here.

Look man I’m just an unpaid intern on the Lancer RPG social media team, I’m just doing what I can with what I got, and if you don’t like that, then there’s nothing I can really do about that. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me a 4-chan user. I logged out of my 4-chan account years ago for the last time and put the little post-it note with my 4-chan login details on it into a little ziploc bag and then floated it out into the ocean such that even if I felt tempted to log back into 4-chan again, I wouldn’t be able to, because the post-it note with my 4-chan login details would be somewhere out there in the vast Pacific Ocean instead of in my possession, where I could read the incredibly long and honestly very unintuitive password I created for it at age 11 and use it to log back in. So don’t you dare call me a 4-chan user again.

get hyped. this shit will have you squirting

To be clear, @lancerrpg is not an official account for Massif Press, and is probably just posting this to stoke controversy and get views.

I don’t do this for the controversy or the views. I do it because this is my passion. When I was a kid, my dad entered a ‘run with the bulls’ event. He wasn’t much of a runner though, and ended up getting impaled by the bulls’ horns and trampled really bad. As he was bleeding out on the gurney, just an absolute broken mess of a man, he told me with his dying breath that he lived with no regrets, and encouraged me to do the same. I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on this trauma and how it’s affected me, and I’m just here trying to do what I do best and trying to live my life doing what I want and without any regrets. thank you

all boys do is listen to acid rock and stare directly into a flashlight 

its working

i can feel it working

just got a copy of Mario Sunshine for the secret new Nintendo system called Big GameCube. It's just a GameCube but bigger. Miyamoto says only I can have one because I'm his special boy

okay I lied. that's just a normal GameCube disc. Wizard shrunk me to mouse size as punishment for being alive. someone please help me